- Aging & Longevity
It Was A Pleasure And An Honour To Serve You....
Pictures of my dad
I recall just the other day when speaking with a friend how when we serve each other, we are serving God too. 'Whatsoever you do unto others, you do unto me.' "When I was naked, you clothed me, when I was hungry you fed me" "When I was lonely you comforted me"
Of course, I was never thinking of the above when I helped my father through his last three years on earth. But I really felt good to do it. I remember I used to go downstairs at night, while he was living in our home, and visit with him and talk. He always did all the talking during the day, but was more receptive and less argumentive at night, so I really enjoyed that time LOL and it was a good time for me as well, since I was up late quite often.
Talking with dad about little things, my thoughts and dreams, and maybe his childhood or something or other. I love doing things voluntarily for people. I was never assigned chores as a kid, dad used to yell when the sink was full of dishes and get us to help. But whenever I was inspired, I would do things like clean the dining room table which was very full of clutter and needed to be cleaned for Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas.
I used to help my father make the turkey stuffing and watch him cook. He let me help him. Even when he was in his wheel chair, in his last years, he was very strong and independent. He wheeled himself around the kitchen, insisting he make breakfast himself. Every morning he made the same: eggs, toast, bacon, coffee. I do love that myself. It's probably a lot of people's favorite breakfast. Lol. I think it was good also that he enjoyed his food. I don't think older people have to eat a perfect diet when they are on their way out, I think it makes them more cheerful to have a tasty meal :)
Dad was never affectionate with us, but as I got older, I became very affectionate and when he was in rehab I used to visit and always hug and kiss him on the forehead before I left. At one point, I was with my mom, and said "I love you, dad" and he said "Thank you for saying that". I know I was told that the two most important things in life when people get older/elderly is "did I love" and "did I love well"
Many people may not be good at expressing love for others in words. Jesus expressed his love for us by being born and dying- for us.
Parents, I was recently told, are never perfect we know, but God makes up for that imperfection by creating strengths in us, for example, my mother didn't really teach me how to live except to pray. I learned all about prayer which has served me well, but she didn't teach me about how to deal with certain things or how to clean or cook or socialize. But later as I recall, I'm told I'm very empathetic because my parents, who had their own problems, used to ask me and my siblings for advice which is weird, it's supposed to be the other way around. So, maybe that made me empathetic or understanding towards others? I seem to be very in tune to other's emotions and it may be that it was because I had to help my parents out that way. Some say this is a gift. Sometimes it feels the opposite lol.
The most enjoyable times with my dad towards the end were, putting lotion on his legs and bringing him gingerale, at night when he had no one. He used to say "You're so kind to do that". Well, I don't now how to reply to that. I'm glad he appreciated my care. It feels great to be appreciated and I do appreciate him for all he did for me too.