- Mental Health
Self-Checking Jealousy and Envy at the Door
What is Jealousy and Envy
I can recall doing pretty well in art class years ago. In fact, on a few occasions, I had the honor of being the student of the month. I had convinced myself that I was quite the artist, so much that when another person became the top student, it caused me to feel some kind on way.
There was an uneasy feeling on the inside because I wanted to stay on top. I admit, I feared losing my status as the top student, and I wanted the other person's level of success. It was a combination of jealousy and envy.
What is Jealousy? - feeling resentment because of another's possessions, attributes or success and feeling like you are going to miss out or lose something or someone
What is Envy ? - wanting what someone else has
Nick Jonas - Jealous
How Carrying Jealousy ad Envy Can Be Harmful
Recognizing our own emotions as they arise can teach us a lot about ourselves and put us in a position to grow. However, letting the feeling get the best of us tempts our character, our actions, and can ruin friendships and even cause break-ups.
Jealousy and Envy Self-Check
Here are just a few things to consider when trying to overcome feelings of jealousy or envy. You can ask yourself the following questions to keep your emotions in check.
What makes me entitled?
Yes, I said it. Whether we desire a physical procession or an attribute that someone else has, what makes us think that we are entitled to have what is someone else's at a given moment. Though we may think we have a clue, we most likely have no real idea what someone has gone through or is going through in their lives that positions them to have the thing that is so desirable. It may take a little humbling and putting pride to the side.
Can I be happy for the success of another?
We are to rejoice when others rejoice (It is in the Bible). And it doesn't say to rejoice unless there's some boasting going on or unless the person is getting on your nerves. So that means that if your newsfeed on your social media account is flooded with images that scream "Hey, look what I've got!" you can actually choose to be happy for them through the annoyance.
Think about it like this...loving another person as yourself. Being happy for someone's success as if it were your own.
What's my beef with this person?
This can open up a whole other can of worms. Having personal vendetta against another and not wanting to witness them get promoted is an open invitation for jealousy and envy to come in and is a good way to become an official "hater." I know it's not always easy, but loving your neighbor could very well mean loving your enemies too.
Is it my business?
Whether or not you feel the other person deserves the success, attention, attribute etc. is not up to you and none of your business. It may sound harsh at first, but it is plain reality. Put effort into developing your own skills, building your own relationships and loving yourself to contentment; not living in comparison to others.
When you first begin to feel jealousy creeping up, you can challenge yourself to do theses three things:
1. Fess Up
Admit to yourself (and God) what is really going on in your heart. That's the first thing. And you don't have to beat yourself up about it, because it can happen to anyone. But moving forward becomes difficult when you are not honest with yourself.
2. Compliment Others
Verbally or virtually, whatever it takes. Acknowledge the positives about the other person and genuinely be happy. Blessing others with your words calms the storm brewing within and somehow turns out to be self rewarding.
3. Practice Gratitude
Simply put; Be thankful for what you have at the moment, big and small. This also includes the intangibles. Where there is a grateful heart, peace tends to follow. There won't be room for jealousy or envy. So start counting your blessings, and let it settle those unpleasant emotions.