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Just A Note To Do Right By Your Child

Updated on January 26, 2018

We Like To Print Out And Compete

Eye Of The Tiger is one of our favorites
Eye Of The Tiger is one of our favorites | Source

Thank You Children For Saving My Life From Being Meaningless

Somewhere somehow the world took the child within and buried it deep. Perhaps the most innocent occurrence of such problems are children themselves. No certainly not what they have done but rather what we think we do for them. The first diapers I changed, noses I wiped and prepared three meals a day for were my nephew and niece on my first wife’s side. Of course there was hiking and board games, catch was always cool. I think I had just turned 19. Wait a second I had in October of the previous year celebrated my 18th birthday in this kind of weird place. I don’t think I spell it right “Champs Elysees”.

So any how the winter of my 18th year. We broke the little guys collar bone- it wasn’t the tree climbing that did it, or the fall that hurt him, it was hitting the ground which Newton controls not me. The very next day I caught him chasing our chickens in the garden. It was then and there that I was struck down, probably from Zeus’s lightning bolt but it could have been the Holy Spirit I am not sure the Spirit gets into the mundane, so whatever.

I actually plopped myself down of a huge Sycamore stump. I started to speak, maybe three times, and the words would not come. (a miracle for me). I am quite sure the boy was in trouble for not taking it easy. I think I knew I would get some mighty harsh words from my then Fiancée. I would be grounded from you know where! ;-)

So I simply told the boy that when he was done or could take a time out would he come talk to me. Twenty mintues later I was getting antsy pantsy. So I told him not be rude and come talk to me. He grabbed Brandy the Brindal Bunny and came in front of me doing that crossed legged sit with the bunny who seemed to be in heaven.

The little guy just asked if he was in trouble. So I questioned if he should be in trouble for the playing or making me wait so long. I did my best facial of angry. He said I looked really funny. So I told him that was my best pouting face and he said “only kids can pout”. And then and there the reason for the lightening strike was revealed.

I was still a child. Of course we agreed on a course of action to “repent” but two that we could do together.

If You Tell a Child Sit On The Dock Forget! Sit With Her and She'll Stay Till Dark

This One Has Stood By Me, I Mean The Photo

I did not teach him a damn thing that day. Or maybe how to be a friend.
I did not teach him a damn thing that day. Or maybe how to be a friend. | Source

They Told Me I Would Never Be The Same --- Thank You Is What I Replied

I Do Not Have To Discipline a Child

Just for fun ask yourself what was the worst rod to be punished with, physical or emotional? “Spare the rod”? Which One? I had some whoopins back in the day even teachers could “swat” you. Yes, sure they did not know I hid a magazine in my pants.

So it occurred to me some time later, in gradutate school I believe, that getting angry and discipline was crazy. I do not need to lose the child within me. I came that studying a crazy old Jurist. Well two of them. The first was Abraham Lincoln who did a real fine job of never letting vengeance cloud his view. The other one was before and I mean before. In fact Jesus plead his own case but did not plead or get angry. Normally this phrase gets lost but in this context it is monumental. We are all children of God.

Who could I possibly be to discipline in any way out of anger. Isn’t the best to pull them close and give them a wet willy and a nuggy. They taught me a saying in second grade; “Variety is the Spice of Life”. So what happens if the person be different. I try to teach and preach that we give full deference to elders. (doesn’t work so well now that I am the elder ;-) And standing in a kitchen with an 8 year old should be no different.

I cannot tell you that that is right. It is more lofty than Plato, Descartes or Dr. Spock or Pavlov.

But here is the rub. Everything we do should be for our children. And I can promise that you are part of the child of you. If we “rise above” thinking that because we are older or the bread winner or smarter or whatever the hell you have. You are liking putting them on the Ferris wheel and not enjoying it with them.

We have another big issue here and it just pisses me off to no end. So if you do it I will not apologize from my harsh judgment of you. If you are on the phone in a park with your child or during dinner with a child and the worst of all driving with a child get serious help. Or maybe just buy him a tablet and make sure he treats you so rudely. Respect is respect and if you are too “whatever” to respect a young one get more help. I suggest not opioids or booze.

I Needed Both Of These. Sadness In Aloness.


Thy God Was Alpha and Omega and Omnipotent and Omnipresent. Why Did His Father Send Him To Earth As A child?

I Kind Of Feel Bad That I Do Not Carry The Weight Of The World On My Shoulders, and Never Place On Yours

One of you are going to say “that is easy for a man to say because he is not driven batty by being with kids so much. Get a grip I could not be an expert in child law and development of children if I was not a stay at home dad and went to every activity at the school and an hour of homework a night – together, and then it is the school Council meetings. And then it is being the caretaker when sick. And all you get is a ration of, well you know from your spouse as to how you must do better. And do not forget the cooking. It is really hard to cook healthy for a child morning noon and agree not sodas, blah blah blah. I agreed fast food is important about once a month unless it is pizza which is good as long you bulster it up salad greens, fresh carrots and broccoli. I get tired just thinking about it and next week we start soccer.

My wife is the strangest of people in a very awesome way. Even the tone of her voice grates when she commands study is done. Harsh and near brutal and the boy just loves it. She was taught in a nasty, nay very nasty communist school and of course excelled at everything. But I get out of bed and come check and at 9:30 at night they are laughing their ass off making fun of his learning Vietnamese and English vocabulary words of reading. I will take over some as it is learning Spanish time, Mexico is about 8 miles away.

The last two nights he has giggled so hard he fell asleep from exhaustion.

Now just suppose there is a family with 4 children only one left in school. The one in school has always won the citizenship stuff and 4 or so awards every month. The other three carry dual degrees from Berekely, UC Santa Cruz and Northern Arizona and one has a master’s in law from the American Universty in Georgetown.

Just assume what I do is fairly accurate. Just assume it gets even more child to child as it does. Do the results give you any pause.

Sometimes just doing the love thing works well. But never has any connection bore more fruit than child to child love. (oh and after over 15 years my wife and I still treat each other like kids and it works for us as from the beginning I told you for us it is always a child of God And Love.


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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      13 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Bill, thank you so much.

      Today is day three of a four day 8th birthday party for my big old boy. We have done 3 but tomorrow is Vietnamese and Church day -- more party with cousins and uncles and Godfather. I am trying to catch my pen up to my thoughts. It should be good. My youngest daughter did a child arts and crafts fair that we just returned from -- Too much fun.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 

      13 months ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      You write in such an entertaining way, Eric but yet so meaningful. I love your caption, "If You Tell a Child Sit On The Dock Forget! Sit With Her and She'll Stay Till Dark". That says so much. Thank you, my friend.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      13 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Chitrangada Sharan, I like being called that, makes me happy.

      Thank you.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      13 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Frank I really appreciate you - and your comments. I found out that all three of my adult children read my hubs from time to time. That is so cool, but why don't they leave a note? hihihihi, I should do a guilt trip on them ;-)

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      13 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora I truly am blessed. I was just thinking that we never end a conversation and a visit without say "I love you".

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      13 months ago from New Delhi, India

      Beautifully written and quite relatable! You are a family man and that’s why you express so well.

      Children make us better human beings. They are our biggest assets. I also learn a lot from my children.

      Thanks for sharing this beautiful hub!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      13 months ago from Shelton

      I'm going to go right out there on the dock of the bay and say that your hubs are very valuable and they have an effect on individuals and, ultimately, families.. bravo

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      13 months ago from The Caribbean

      Eric, it is obvious that you have a wonderfully connected family. Your children help to keep the child in you alive; and the child in you makes sure that you do right by them. Feel blessed!

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      13 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Kari, that is great. All of my children now call me chaddy. Inspired by my youngest.

      Oh they love my sermons --- Not!!

    • k@ri profile image

      Kari Poulsen 

      13 months ago from Ohio

      My children are my greatest gift from God. And my greatest responsibility. I think I did OK. I would rather talk things over than punish. So they knew what they were being punished for. Often times they would pick their punishment.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      13 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I am so with you Bill. I have a couple lines to answer what "Do you do". But my fav - is "I am a dad".

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      13 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Well, my son is still living with us, so I must have done something right in parenting. LOL Seriously, my parenting is probably the greatest thing I've ever done.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      13 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Charmaine thank you. Now first let us get to the important stuff -- I fully love that butterfly, do tell all about it.

      It is very cool that you got some good stuff out this piece. Last evening 5 minutes after I published this my 7 year old started intentionally pushing my buttons hard. (after going in the garage and screaming to the universe "WHY???") I just asked him why he was doing it and that it hurt my feelings and made me angry. He told me "just" for fun. I am sorry. And no more was spoken about it.

      Whew I could have lost there.

    • profile image


      13 months ago

      I loved this article Eric. I could connect to what you were telling us.

      While circumstances didnt allow me to have children, I have always believed in doing right by your child. Although husbands or partners may not agree eith me or like it, I rightly or wrongly would put my child's needs in front of my husband's or partner's.

      Children are a gift. And I feel they give you a second chance in looking at the world with renewed hope and trust.

      Yes, you get to be kid all over again-just love that!


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