Ketchup is Weak
Who Invented Ketchup?
After years of thorough research, experts in the "condiment history" have now decided that the Chinese are the ones responsible for discovering the use of ketchup and other condiments. It seems that back in the early(?) 17th century, it was the Chinese who came up with an odd concoction that included pickled fish & spices and called it kê-chiap.
By the 18th century, this simple method eventually made it to the nearby Malay states (presently known as Malaysia). It was basically made the same way, but there it was called kecap (pronounced "kay-chap"). This was about the time when the English explorers came across the recipe and took it back to the colonies.
So many different variations were then created, however, it wasn't until 1801 (almost a century later) that tomatoes were used and became the most preferred main ingredient.
Which do you prefer?
Do you prefer "ketchup" or "catsup"?
What's "Fancy" Ketchup?
It's believed the difference between "fancy" ketchup and just regular ketchup is that fancy ketchup is made with more tomatoes (or other main ingredient). It takes about 100 tomatoes to make around 4-5 bottles of ketchup.
Ketchup or Catsup?
Which is the correct spelling?
Ever notice when walking down a grocery aisle there's sometimes two different spellings for "ketchup"? I'm use to the more common style of "ketchup", but I've also noticed a different spelling..."catsup'.
What is "Catsup"?
Actually, there are three different spelling variations for this condiment. There is:
And technically, they are all correct. That's right. There are three different spelling variations for ketchup, or catsup, or ketsup...whatever you prefer, it's all basically the same thing.
I think it's just stupid.
Love Ketchup; Hate Tomatoes
- Ketchup is the MOST popular condiment in the United States and is a half a BILLION dollar industry
- Heinz is the leader in US sales when it comes to ketchup covering 60% of the market
- 25% of ketchup is sugar
- The squeeze bottle for ketchup was introduced in the 80's to solve the problem of ketchup not flowing out of glass bottles
The Master of Ketchup
Henry John Heinz may be the most popular ketchup maker there ever was but one thing is for sure, he wasn't the first. There was a man named Jon Mease who published a recipe on how to make it during the the time of the War of 1812.
By 1824, the recipe appeared in a cookbook titled "The Virginia Housewife" which happened to be published by Mary Randolph (a cousin to Thomas Jefferson). By the time this recipe hit the public, American cooks had sweetened the product considerably.
Make Your Own Ketchup
The MOST Common Ingredients for Ketchup
- Tomato Concentrate
- Distilled Vinegar
- High Fructose Corn Syrup
- Corn Syrup
- Onion Powder
- Natural Flavorings
"Only ketchup, please."
People Who Prefer Only Ketchup
People who prefer only ketchup on food items such as hot dogs & hamburgers aren't considered having an "over compulsive disorder" (OCD) like those who prefer ketchup on everything.
In fact, it's been said that people who just get ketchup on ALL popular American foods are considered to be socially immature, selfish and insecure. People who won't even try another condiment (but say that they have) are also known to be untrustworthy.
It's been discovered that 9 out of 10 people who prefer just ketchup have deep personal family issues, a serious mental disorder or both. A child with older siblings living with a single parent (usually the mother) develop a fascination with ketchup because it's one of the things that gave them the most pleasure while growing up.
A selfish mother and an absent (possibly unknown) father could also contribute to a child's obsession with ketchup.
Children obsessed with ketchup also have a hard time making friends. These children tend to be slightly more aggressive than other children but lack the self confidence to do anything about it resulting in frequent temper tantrums and stubbornness.
Ketchup Obsession during Adulthood
Time to GROW Up
Socially Immature, Selfish and Insecure
Have you ever seen a grown adult dress their steak with ketchup?
DISGUSTING! Not to mention that they just destroyed a perfect cut of meat.
People who prefer only ketchup sometimes have serious "daddy issues" that need to be worked out immediately. A child who has never met their father are prone to develop such erratic behavior with an obsession with ketchup being one of them.
Any man or woman who dresses their steak with just ketchup, obviously has never eaten steak with a REAL man, because if they had they would have known better.
Keeping ketchup packets cold in the refrigerator is something that most of us do (for some reason), we don't know why - we never use them. It's the people who do use these ketchup packets on a regular basis that you have to look out for. Most of us don't mind running to the corner store for a just gallon of milk, a carton of eggs a pack of cigarettes, but running to get just a squeeze bottle of ketchup is something else entirely.
Helping Those Obsessed with Ketchup
There is Help
The first and MOST important thing for those obsessed with ketchup is admitting that they have a problem. It may not be easy, but it is a vital and important first step.
Having those obsessed with ketchup trying other condiments may be a challenge but it's a battle that must be fought.
People obsessed with ketchup also have a difficult time keeping relationships or are unfaithful during their long-term relationships.
Curing those obsessed with ketchup is not easy and if the first attempt is unsuccessful you must keep trying. However, if those trying to do the curing decide to give up there is a great chance that those obsessed with ketchup shall be obsessed until the day they die.
Important Note: People who are extremely obsessed with ketchup know that they must break their obsession but their stubbornness forbids them to do so.
© 2014 James Timothy Peters