- Mental Health»
LONELINESS AND SOLITUDE...BIG DIFFERENCE!
Do not asilate yourself from others, is not healthy!
Loneliness is not only unpleasant, but is also a very common thing on these days. It derives from the lack of social contact, and for some people loneliness even means anxiety, and depression. However, it does not only occur just because we are alone, sometimes it even happens when we are surrounded by people, depending on our mental, social and spiritual condition. Maybe that's why loneliness has been labeled as “the social pain” of our era.
Studies around the world have revealed, that loneliness does not affect a particular group of people, it does not discriminate by age, gender or race. However, it can spread like an epidemic, and it can be triggered by different factors in life, especially the loss of a love one, divorce, resentment, post postpartum depression, and some studies even showed it could be in the genes.
In some cases, the collateral effects of feeling lonely can be devastating to your health, from overeating due to anxiety, to other issues purely psychosomatic: backaches, migraines, bulimia, and even grows in different parts of the body, have been linked to pure depression related to loneliness. It is amazing what your mind can do with your body if you just let it.
LONELINESS AND SOLITUDE: NOT THE SAME!
I used to think that being lonely and being in solitude was the same exact thing. However, a very interesting article published by the University of Toronto, clarified to me that solitude, is when you honestly DO NOT have anyone in your life: no family, no friends. Although, there will always be someone “around” you, like neighbors, coworkers people in church, etc., this does not necessarily means, you have someone. In the other hand, loneliness is pretty much your choice, you don't have the desire to interact with other people, and that's why you are lonely.
Solitude has a link with creativity though. Art and music, had benefit for centuries from the solitude of some individuals: Michael Angelo, Beethoven, Leonardo D Vinci, Shubert and others. Probably, because they had a lot more time to explore their inner side, allowing them more concentration and creativity.
LONELINESS CAN MAKE YOU SICK!
Now when is about loneliness, which involves a lack of motivation and energy, there are some negative factors, detriment to your health such as the excessive eating, or lack of appetite, for example, will eventually cause obesity, or malnutrition. Not controlled this eventually would cause other problems like high cholesterol, diabetes, high blood pressure and even joint problems.
The negative thoughts and uncontrollable anxiety will eventually end up in thoughts of suicide. People who suffers from loneliness, don't like to go out much, they try to avoid contact with other people, because they feel inadequate and out of place. Happiness around them, usually makes them miserable, not because they are not happy for the other' s fortune, but because the usual question don't take long to pop in their minds: “Why I cannot be happy too?”
This would resume in a very popular saying: "It is what it is"! The truth is that life has never been fair, but we need to get the best out of it, while we can. There is no such a thing as a perfect life, there is always a lack of someone or something, which will make you feel incomplete. Spirituality, not necessarily religion, has always been a good thing to compensate life.
For example, if you never spoil yourself, start getting into the habit of doing so. Do not set aside whatever can make your soul feel better. If you don't like to read, then get the new Audio books, and choose the ones that are nurturing, and make you feel peaceful. Get in a yoga class, meditate, or simply go to your porch and enjoy a glass of lemonade, watching the trees and the birds!
There are times in life when I felt really lonely, no family around, no spouse, and no kids. My world was limited to going to work and being depressed all the time. The situation hasn' t changed yet, instead I had to learn to do without, and to appreciate what I have. Maybe someday things will change for me, for now I'm learning to live one day at a time, because everything happens for a reason.
I take this time in my life like a preparation for something great coming my way, after all hope is always there.
Remember, no one can make you interact with others, it is your choice to do so, and you pick the people you want to be around of. If you find someone who makes you feel bad in any way, you are better off completely eliminating that person from your life. YOU DO NOT have to keep in a relationship, whatever it is, which makes you feel bad and unhappy. Learn how to keep your priceless inner peace going, even if this means to be alone, but without isolating yourself completely from everyone else. Seek for individuals with a positive attitude, and that really appreciate you for who you are.
Develop techniques such as itemizing your negative feelings in a piece of paper, analyze them and start scratching off the ones that you can solve from the ones that are out of your control. Believe or not, you feel relief when that list starts shrinking to just a couple of things you cannot control. Have patience and work on one at a time, including your ability to communicate with others.
Search for what makes you happy: walking your dog, maybe painting or writing, watching old movies, crafts, whatever rings your bell! And just do it! Don't fill out your life with "mental obstacles" whenever you want to do something that is good for you. Don't block your freedom!
You only live once, and you are the only one responsible for your own happiness. You were not born with anyone (unless you are a twin), and you will die with no body. Fortunately, you already have the only person you need in your life to be happy, and that is...YOU!