Laughter for stress relief
My All Time Favorite Jokes
Every day hundreds of articles are written about stress. Some of the information I have read on how to deal with stress almost makes it sound like rocket science. I think it’s time to simply go back to basics. Nothing is as stress relieving as a good ol belly laugh. Laughter is not only good for the soul but it also has plenty of other benefits. So what can laughter do for you?
It Lowers blood pressure. It helps Increase vascular blood flow and oxygenation of the blood, Gives a workout to the diaphragm and abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles and reduces certain stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. Laughter Increases the response of tumor- and disease-killing cells such as Gamma-interferon and T-cells. During cold and flu season it defends against respiratory infections and reduces the frequency of colds. It also helps with memory and learning, improve alertness and, creativity.
Below are my all-time favorite jokes. So sit back in your favorite chair and have a laugh, courtesy of me today! I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
1. A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. When the police arrive they ask the snail to describe what happened during the assault. The snail says, "OMG, I don’t know, it all happened so fast!"
2. A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees the dog lounging in a chair. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the dog replies. "So, what's your story?" The dog looks up, takes off his sun glasses and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years. The jetting around tired me out, I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, with suspicious characters and drug smuggling. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much for the dog? The owner says, "Ten dollars." The guy says, “Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap”?" The owner replies, "Because he's just a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff!"
3. A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator: “I think my friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, and then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”
4. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
5. I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me.... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.