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How to Keep Calm and Stay Positive When Life Is Hard

Updated on May 17, 2017

Advantages of Letting Go of Negativity

  • The best way to let go of the past and the baggage of negativity that we are carrying with us is to rationalize over them, and look at what caused it, understanding the source of our fears is an essential step in overcoming anxieties.

  • All the past failures did not happen in vain. With the sadness and fear that they created in our lives, they also gave us new wisdom on how things work and in this case what does not work.

  • All our mistakes can be view as discoveries of some sort. And the positive thing is that we would have never learned those lessons if we did not make mistakes or fail.

  • Every time we face a conflict, a lot of stress is created, but under a certain amount of stress we tend to do our best and be more efficient. Periods in which we have to fight for something, are usually those in which we have the best growth opportunities.

  • It would be nice if everybody liked us. But reality is there will always be someone that does not like you, as there will always be someone trying to boycott what you are trying to achieve. These enemies are very painful to face and fight, but looking back they all teach something, they can be viewed as our teachers.

  • Many times when a situation ends drastically and badly, we feel like a failure, but each undesired ending opens the door to a very desirable beginning.

  • If you become calm and serene on the inside, you’ll see how the world will appear calm and serene on the outside.

  • When we are calm, we make better choices, which will lead us to meet better people, and open doors to better opportunities.

We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.
We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses. | Source

Control Your Thoughts, Control Your Life

We attract in our lives whatever we think about.

Negative thoughts are like poison. Thinking negative thoughts gives them power. Giving power to negative thinking will attract exactly those things that we fear into our lives.
The recipe for happiness and success is to think only positive thoughts.

Our thoughts are so powerful that by gaining control over them, we can control the direction of our lives and make great opportunities come to us.

Every time we worry about something we don’t want to happen, or every time we mistrust the favorable circumstances in our life, we visualize and empower exactly the things that we don’t want.

The Law of Attraction of Positive Thoughts

There are lots of writings and talks about the power of positive thinking and how happy thoughts attract good things in our lives. One main belief on how that happens is the powerful Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction in a nutshell says that our thoughts project energy into the universe and determine the kind of response we get, as far as what is going to happen in our lives.

Recipe for a great day: become calm and serene on the inside, you’ll see how the world will appear calm and serene on the outside.
Recipe for a great day: become calm and serene on the inside, you’ll see how the world will appear calm and serene on the outside. | Source

The Power of Feeling Thankful

It is difficult to switch off negative thoughts. When something bad happens it often feels like the end of the world. How do I keep positive when facing harsh difficulties or serious illness?

One powerful way to stay positive and halt negativity is to fill our being with thankfulness.

Thankfulness is very similar to love, it fills you of positive feelings and can be a big help to switch from negative to positive thoughts. The instant we feel thankful for something, there is no space for negativity.

What to be thankful for? Think about all the things that you enjoy every day and possibly take for granted: from the simplest to the biggest blessings in your life, like waking up, breathing, walking, having a home, having loving family and friends, and good health, food, money, intelligence, humor… you can keep adding anything that applies to you, and we all have many things to be thankful for, no matter our general condition.

Some mornings I wake up worried about something, and before I allow myself to get out of bed and start my day, I choose to list in my head the things I’m thankful for.
Still lying in bed, I go through a mental list of the blessings I have in my life, and only when I’m feeling better about myself and my life I get out up and start the day.

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

— Marcus Aurelius
A heart filled with love and thankfulness has no space for negative feelings.
A heart filled with love and thankfulness has no space for negative feelings. | Source

Benefits of Being Less Judgmental About Yourself

Most of the times we are our own worse critics; we see all our flows and weaknesses and often we overestimate other people capabilities, and consider ourselves inferior for some reason.

Learning to be less disapproving of ourselves and less hypercritical of our limitation is an indispensable path to serenity and happiness.

Look at your fear, pain, rage, conflicts, and disappointment with tolerance and understanding.

Nobody is perfect; we are all bound to make mistakes, some more than others. But even if you find yourself making mistakes more than you’d like, don’t fall in the trap of feeling weak or wrong. Instead of condemning yourself, accept your errors and use the experience to make yourself a better person.

Focus on seeing the good, and to do this you have to see past the bad, don’t get stuck on what is not as you like it.

Practice Self-Compassion

Dismiss all thoughts of not being worthy, or not having some skills: practice self-compassion. Self-judgment has deep roots, and is hard to eradicate. Switching from being a harsh judge to being compassionate and accepting of who you are is not easy.

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has to face difficult challenges. Even those that appear confident and smart are afraid of some things, and make mistakes.

When you are facing a difficult situation, think that others went through the same thing, and they may be the very ones that you overestimate and judge better skilled than you.

When something really bad happens, it can help to think that you are not the only one to experience major disappointment and pain. Try to calm down and get the best out of a crappy situation.

© 2012 Robie Benve


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    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      3 years ago from Ohio

      Hi Perspycascious, I take depression quite seriously, and even though I doubt that just reading articles about "thinking positive" can be a solution, they can sure help. Depression is curable, and I agree that in the cure it's very important to acknowledge the problem and find the will to get better within us. Thanks for your very valuable feedback. :)

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 

      3 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Quoting from here: "....only when I’m feeling better about myself and my life I get out up and start the day." I think that explains why some well-intending folks with depression choose to stay in bed.

      You have done a good job in this Hub, and even depressed folks can take heart by incorporating some of your observations into their lives.

    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      Hi rileon42, I'm glad you enjoyed my writings. It's not easy to choose optimism, especially in a difficult situation, and it's then that we need all our brain cells power to take the right decision. Ironic, isn't it?

      Thanks a lot for your feedback

    • rlleon42 profile image


      5 years ago from United States

      Great viewpoint. I really appreciated your article. So true that we make our best decisions when we are calm.

    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      Hi Riviera Rose, I'm glad to hear you are a fan of positive thinking as well. Thanks a lot for the support! :)

    • Riviera Rose profile image

      Riviera Rose 

      5 years ago from South of France

      Loved this hub, and I agree with one of your earlier readers about my favourite part being failures not happening in vain - it can be hard to keep perspective on such things but you're so right! Voted up and beautiful.

    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks all for reading and the great feedback, appreciated! :)

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      @louisa, such a good point!

    • HoneyBB profile image

      H Lax 

      6 years ago

      Great advice and well taken on this night when I was feeling a little too anxious! Breathe in and breathe out and think about the things I'm grateful for and viola I feel better already. Thanks for sharing. Voted +++

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Great hub, sharing

    • Louisa Rogers profile image

      Louisa Rogers 

      6 years ago from Eureka, California and Guanajuato, Mexico

      My favorite part of this hub is the line "the past failures did not happen in vain." That is so powerful. I try to view my mistakes, regrets, disappointments etc. as useful information, or as you said, a discovery. Thank you & I hope you ave a happy, warm Thanksgiving.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 

      6 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Nice hub about positive and negative thoughts. Truly inspirational-----though to shed negative thoughts are a bit difficult at times, but they must be dropped by all means.

      Thanks for sharing.

    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Phew. you took it well, great! I was afraid you'd tell how weirdo I was... :D You're welcome.

    • Cathy Fidelibus profile image

      Ms. Immortal 

      6 years ago from NJ

      I'll try it, thanks!

    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Cathy Fidelibus, though I'm not THE expert, I can tell you what have worked for me to cut off on bad memories and anger feeling. It can be useful to detach yourself from anger and anxiety when other things have failed. (It may sound strange, but I got it from a Feng Shui book.)

      I envision a purple cord coming out of my chest and connecting me with the person/memory. I stiff my fingers and use my hand and arm as a hatchet or sword to cut off the invisible cord, several times, I envision the connection being severed, freeing me from the bad influence of those thoughts/memories.

      Thanks a lot for your comment. :)

    • Robie Benve profile imageAUTHOR

      Robie Benve 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks Carol7777, I truly appreciate your feedback and support. :)

    • Cathy Fidelibus profile image

      Ms. Immortal 

      6 years ago from NJ

      Thank you for this post. I love it, and am a big believer of LOA

      I try to live by the LOA philosophy and know that anger gives power to the person it is directed towards and and also drains you of yours. But I have met my challenge where this is concerns. Try as I may, I can not stop these powerful feelings of anger. I can not forgive or condone this persons actions (not that they care) the worst part is this person will always be a part of my life to some extent, so the angry feelings are brought forth more than usual.

      Do you have any suggestions or strategies to help me.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 

      6 years ago from Arizona

      All really good advice and thoughts. And we all know when life turns a bit bad it is difficult to feel good and positive. And the reality is that stuff happens all the time, and as we get older sometimes it is more difficult to deal with. I am going to bookmark this and read it again ...I do take time to count blessings but sometimes the bad stuff creeps in. Great hub and voting UP.


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