- Mental Health»
Leave the Past in the Past
Have you ever heard of the phrase “so and so is too hard to love”? I have heard it multiple times, but I never really quite understood the depth of its meaning. Until now. I would like to share my insights on what I think it means and hopefully it will broaden everyone’s perspective on the plausible reasons why someone may be hard to love.
I tend to believe that one of the major reasons why some people are seemingly hard to love is because they find it to be a foreign thing. Love to them virtually does not exist. They probably grew up in environments where love was either earned or not given at all.
Most of the time, the children who had to earn love find it really hard to be loved unconditionally. They grew up knowing that the only way to receive love and affection from their parents was if they got good grades or did something really exceptional. Such people find it really hard to believe that later on in life they can be loved by someone simply for being themselves. They find the need to constantly prove themselves worthy of love and affection and are only satisfied when they have earned it through carrying out various activities. More often than not unfortunately, especially amongst ladies, they feel that the only way that they can earn love is through their body and basically nothing else.
Sadly, there are some children who grew up in horrid homes. Love was never at the table and so they never really got a chance to experience it. Their parents never really showed them affection either because they were always busy with work or just simply because they were and are naturally not affectionate. I know what you’re thinking. How can a parent not show at least some affection to their biological child? Unfortunately, it happens and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Such children grow up to believe that they neither deserve nor have any reason to try to earn anyone’s love. They tend to push away people who are willing to try and love them or in other cases if they finally work up the nerve to actually give love a chance, they end up sabotaging their relationship because they don’t believe that it is real.
Of course there is the other lot who refuse to give love another chance simply because they had their heart broken one way or another in the past. Maybe they were cheated on. Others were probably left for someone else. In other cases, some were left for no real reason and no further explanation was offered. This makes them shun future relationships because they believe there is a high chance of the future repeating itself. As they say, once bitten, twice shy.
At the end of the day there are a million and one reasons why we should definitely not believe in love. So many ghosts from our pasts haunt us and remind us why we should not take a chance for love. However, you should not be afraid to love again or even for the first time. It may sound cliché but your past does not define you. Leave whoever or whatever hurt you in the past right there; in the past. Move forward. Just because someone hurt you in the past does not mean everyone who will walk into your life in future will too. Take a chance and be happy. Be strong. Strength is accepting your past, enjoying your present and courageously facing your future.
© 2018 Valerie