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Lessons From Children About Adults

Updated on October 29, 2014

Do not squirt me!

Lot of good that command did. Don't hand a kid a squirter and then tell them not to use it.
Lot of good that command did. Don't hand a kid a squirter and then tell them not to use it. | Source

Simple rules for Children

Children have rules to live by. Most of those rules and do's and don't's. The same is true for adults. Children react to those rules. So do adults. Did you ever wonder how much our adult reactions were learned as children? Did you ever wonder whether we could go back and change some of our negative behavior by relearning from our childhood. Well we can and it does not require years of in depth cognitive therapy. It only requires spending time with children and reflecting enough to learn from that time.

By observing children and noting their rules that they must follow we can learn much about adults. The "why" and the "why not" of life can be discerned from the more simple why and why not for children.

Bless them for they are the teachers of what is good.

Are you adult enough?

Can you learn from children?

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A shirt and a helmet and wallah you have a fireman.

In his mind he is truly a fireman and that is good because firemen are heroes.
In his mind he is truly a fireman and that is good because firemen are heroes. | Source

Obedience and the law.

Why does a child when told to do one thing or given a certain set of rules so often do something else. Why does an adult when told to do one thing or given a set of rules so often do something else. Watch the child and learn. They simply want to do something else. And until they learn the consequences, large or small, they will continue to do just as they please.

Sound familiar? Human adults just do certain things expecting a certain result. Sometimes just doing as we please ends us up in some trouble or at the very least creating a harder situation. For some reason watching a child do this reminds us not to. All the way from addictions to simply driving right on the freeway. If we see the child do it we know immediately that it is wrong and sometimes if we are wise we can apply that knowledge to ourselves.

Throwing fits.

I know that I am perfect and never throw a tantrum. I never get upset because I do not get my way. What a liar I am. (for another article) But there is something I have learned from children. They pick who they will throw a tantrum with. In our house I am the disciplinarian. Fits do not get thrown my way because my "fit" going right back at you is worse than doing what I said in the first place. My wife, not so much. Chances are good with her that a good tantrum will get her to capitulate and even feel guilty.

On the other hand my wife throws tantrums at me and I always give in. She never gives in to mine and so I just do not throw them - what is the use? Fits and tantrums do not make us feel all warm and fuzzy. They should be avoided. By looking at when and why a child throws them we can learn a great deal about why we throw them. And hopefully that will keep the negative behavior at bay. Is it really worth getting all upset just to get our way?

Things are still fresh.

Just a Koi in an immense meditation garden - shhh. A four year old never tires of the amazing nature around us.
Just a Koi in an immense meditation garden - shhh. A four year old never tires of the amazing nature around us. | Source

Amazing.

Sometimes we get caught up in our world of people or we just get tired. When we do that we stop noticing the wonders of the world around us. We become "lazy" to the miracles of life and the little things that bring interest and joy into our lives. To the child almost everything becomes exciting when it is new and even the old is not boring in general. It is a youthful outlook that we need to recharge our batteries and see life fresh again. Children just naturally teach us and remind us of such things.

Oh boy, we all can always learn to eat better.

Here is the deal.

If we simply slow down when with children and really pay attention then we can begin to see certain things that we do with them and they with us. With children it is more honest in a certain sense. How they feel and want to act is more "in your face". It is at once alarming. They do not hide their feelings. And yet much of their behavior is already manipulative and in a certain way conniving.

Throwing fits is one most obvious circumstance. They throw a fit to get what they want and there is no pretext. As adults we throw fits and find blame in others or we divert attention from the real cause. Too often we are simply manipulating ourselves.

At the other spectrum we get a hug from a child and it is real. It is not a mock deal. It is so sad to watch a parent tell a child to give a hug to an auntie. We begin to train, not to give hugs out of sincerity but out of social grace. That begins the road to faked emotions and that leads to a life full of lies. For if we can fake a hug to another we begin to fake those emotions in ourselves and we no longer own them like a child.

Consequences are real time to a child. If we watch how quickly they learn to avoid actions that cause immediate negative results we can more clearly see how our seemingly more complicated wrong actions lead to negative results. Perhaps it will help us to begin to stop the negative behavior.

Fruits and vegetables. These are not a big issue for me as I just love them to bits. But even then I find that what I will not do for myself I will do for a little one. And children need their fruits and vegetables. So we go the extra mile to make sure they are the food that most fills our counter tops, refrigerator and cupboards, even more so than we would for ourselves. And that translates into other positive behaviors withing the home. Like quiet reading times and exercise time and looking at nature time and on and on.

I beg of you, find a child, hug that child and then let that child teach you.

Learn about stealing my work.

This article was written by Eric Dierker. I reserve all rights to this article and desire no duplication without attribution. On the other hand feel free to share the content just let folks know where it came from. Copying it and claiming it as your own would be stupid and subject you to my legal harassment of you. Besides if someone asked you what it meant you would not know so yes it is copyright protected as original work by me. Just leave a comment to ask to use it elsewhere and please share it.

To read more by this fascinating author visit www.thedierkerblog.com, Eric Dierker on Facebook and Pinterest and my sweet blog resipsaloquitor on google blogs.

OK I admit it, I need more publicity. If you steal this content please let me know so I can make a big deal out of it and get some press time.

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    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      RTalloni, thank you for coming by and commenting. All I have to say to your comment is Amen!

    • RTalloni profile image

      RTalloni 2 years ago from the short journey

      To give up learning from children is the same as beginning to die. Though it is true that little ones do not have to become very old before they learn that they want to assert themselves over others in some fashion, their inexperience with evil is a precious thing to protect. If we let them remind us that life isn't about all the things most grownups think it is about, we can learn a great deal from them.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you much Emunah, These kind of articles are real labors of love for me, as I am totally blessed with children.

    • swilliams profile image

      Emunah La Paz 2 years ago from Arizona

      What an amazing article Eric. I like how you spun this article from a child's viewpoint, and as always you use the best model to display your article. Very thought provoking! Voted up interesting and useful!

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you vespawoolf, it was a fun reflective piece to write although it made me think to hard ;-)

    • vespawoolf profile image

      vespawoolf 2 years ago from Peru, South America

      Yes, we can definitely learn from children. And it is therapeutic to find our inner child and learn to relax. I also agree about the negative aspects. We don´t want to throw a tantrum like a child! This is a well-written article that really makes me reflect. Thanks!

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Thank you Devika it is nice to have you read and leave a comment on this humble hub.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Great thoughts here and so true thank you for this interesting and informative hub.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Denise if we give enough sunshine and nutrient to something that is to grow into a flower it will. If we crowd it too much it is likely not to bloom. I was youngest of six and in too much of a way denied my own choices and consequences. I think it stunted my growth. We must be so careful with our little teachers.

    • Maria Antonia profile image

      Maria Antonia 2 years ago from North Carolina

      Denise, I really like how you phrased this and I agree with you, "The more we give them the opportunity to do good and make wise choices, the more they will.".

    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      It is amazing what we can learn from our own children! The more we give them the opportunity to do good and make wise choices, the more they will. We found this to be true in raising our own little ones. Now that they are grown with children of their own, it is fun to reminisce about the way things were when they were young!

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      My adult children would have the same comments about me. And probably my little one will think that also for a bit. right now he likes me treating him like a real person and not a child ;-) Yesterday we battled. I think by the end of the day he was more tired than me.

    • Maria Antonia profile image

      Maria Antonia 2 years ago from North Carolina

      Eric this is a great Hub - Voted up, useful, and interesting. I think you are spot on. I think only the most fully present people have the power to not turn into their parents or exhibit the same behaviors that they disliked as a child. I didn't know it at the time but when raising my son (Stepson) I was a fully conscious parent. When he was about 10-years old he told me "you know, you shaped up to be a good mommy". LOL being a woman I couldn't resist the urge to dig deeper, so I said, "well that would imply that I was a not so good a parent in the beginning". He responded with "yeah, not so much, you kind of treated me like a little adult at first." What he didn't realize is that I was allowing him to be and become his own person. I didn't bully him through spanking, and because he was used to that style of parenting he didn't appreciate my style. But let's face it, he was an awesome kid. By the time he was in college he got it and thanked me for it. Today he's 26 and a great man.

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      And that willingness to learn Bill, is clearly shown in your wisdom.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      For eighteen years, I was the student in the classroom that I taught. :) enough said

    • Ericdierker profile image
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      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Dora, I know that through no fault of my own I grow a bit wiser with each child. I ain't saying it is the only way, just that it is a darn fine way. Thank you much for your encouragement, it really does mean the world to me.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      Williams Wordsworth wrote, "The Child is father of the Man." They teach us without any effort on their part, but we must make the effort to learn from them. You make very good points here, in your so-easy-to-read style. Thanks!