Let The Enthusiasm Liberate You.....
Generally, negativity is referred to as an emotional prison, wherein a person feels himself a prisoner amidst the walls of criticism. Every one of us has a pretty well experience of facing negativity. Unarguably, there is no person on earth who is said to be barred of such a painful attitude of others. Its repercussions are dreadful. It depends on a person how he reacts to it? With ‘a don’t care attitude’, nothing can harm, but there remains a possibility neglected, in that pessimistic approach there may be lessons to learn?
If anyone takes it seriously might harm himself, with a sudden mood shut down, lack of enthusiasm or become a victim of low self esteem. A fair understanding of the happenings and dealing cautiously will help turn the things around.
Consistent negative behavior or extreme negativity is said to be a psychological disorder, but not that attitude which comes into focus occasionally or that which is realistic.
Shades of Negativity
Negativity reflects an aspect of mind. Since the mind reflects things in various dimensions, so are shades of negativity. It gets reflected, through words and actions. Following are the traits that lead to negativity:
(1) Oppression – Most of the time one tends to behave as if he is right and others are wrong. Such a behavior comes at times as cursing others or admonishing in a way that is not good at all. The one who heavily criticizes and show an adamant behavior is just because of oppressive mind set of his own. By not understanding one’s feelings, not giving proper response to his conscience and not taking care of the prevailing situation, the person subjugates the opponent.
(2) Transgression – The negative actions performed gets doubled in every sense, they induce false succor to the heart and in turn it finds rest over the happenings. Such person transgresses the limits every time he indulges in some heart breaking actions and words. In other words his negativity shows transgression.
(3) Lack of resources – Sometimes lack of resources make a person look at the outer world to get his desires fulfilled. But when he does not find any, fall prey to a criticizing stage. Since the needs vary from person to person, rarely does it happen that a needy person gets what is required; as a result it paves way for the negativity.
(4) Materialism – Wants have no limits, they exponentially increases with regard to haves and ‘some more mentality’. If one falls short of his requirement he then looks at the outer world for compensation. Since materialism, not as such but polished with covetousness, has its root in the feelings of scarcity so its repercussions are always unhealthy and negative.
(5) Rejoicing at others failure – Feelings of happiness or satisfaction over the failures of others too contribute to negative approach.
(6) Exploitation – A person of such a negative traits remain at the receiving end, then starts abusing and exploiting others with his behavior. Even just for fun, people indulge in exploitative behavior and hurt the sentiments of others.
(7) Submissiveness – It is the inaptness of a person to stand for himself; the self esteem is so low that it gets reflected through submissiveness. It is represented through different forms of exploitations, terrorizing others, ragging and supervising other.
(8) Over-sensitivity – Though sensitiveness is preferred for a balanced life, but when it crosses the limits and a person becomes over-sensitive then the suffering starts, both for him and for the one who gets in touch with him. Sometimes over-sensitive person regarded as polite, but due to their repulsive behavior they get easily involved in negative acts.
(9) Low Self-Esteem – It’s a self consideration of unworthiness, low-profile maintenance, when the mind set gets developed with such a trait, feelings of losing and depriving the self become identity of the personality. For him the worldly things appear to be of less significance, in turn he curses the one who, as per his own perception, is prosperous.
(10) Over-asceticism – Though simplicity is encouraging but exaggeration is simply avoidable, here the person who favors simplicity, criticizes any attitude that falls against his understanding of simplicity.
(11) Hedonism – This represents another critical mind. The critical thinking and looking always at the negative side, give rise to insensitiveness and hatred. Such people try to put down others. Their sense of inferiority gets reflected the other way, and a sense of superiority replicates through boosting and self praising.
(12) Arrogance – It is one of the most dangerous types of negativity; here a person occupies the central place, absolutely no possibilities for anyone to be around. ‘I am the best’ and ‘me only’ kind of outlook pushes him to the lowest. Further their insensitiveness drives them on the other end that disconnects them with the people.
(14) Cynicism – When a person becomes quite insensitive to the colors of life, he tend to behave in a way that appears harsh. Hopelessness develops and the perception about life changes to deeper negative thoughts.
(14) Unresponsiveness – This reveals a mindset where ‘why me’? And ‘I am good but others are bad’ kind of thoughts develop. This self-pity approach generally leads to blaming others for their miseries, and compels a person to think as if he has been victimized. This mindset even results in self-abusing kind of act just to attract other’s attention.
(16) Jealousy – This is evident by looking at the way person indulges in an imbalance comparison. Wellness of others, their wealth and fame becomes a reason for him to be jealous. Obviously the attitude rests solely on criticism.
(15) Aloofness – When a person, owing to his peculiar mentality, can’t adjust with the people around. He finds himself comfortable in maintaining distance. When this does not happen for some reasons he reacts in a negative way. Or in case when he succeeds in distancing himself, any instance of a meeting with others creates havoc in his mind and that results in negativity.
Which shade of negativity bothers you
Let us be enthusiast
Which one of the following help you cope up with negativity?
Causes of Negativity
Poor state of mind – Due to many reasons such a person can’t find a positive thing. For example if he happens to be a below average literate then anything above his status will prick him to react in a way that satisfies him. Again, poor knowledge of things, narrow mindedness, pre-conceived ideas, too contribute to poor state of mind.
Fault finder – The negativity comes into focus, sometimes, with a default behavior of a person that tends to find out the faults. Whatever may be the case, how important and unimportant may be the matter in discussion; he just tries to look out for the faults and expresses it critically without looking at the pros and cons of the situation.
Doubtful attitude – Due to narrow mindedness a person thinks the way he likes. This builds a kind of attitude that sets to look with skepticism and doubt. When things do not fit to his frame of mind, negativity comes into picture.
Either totally correct or totally wrong - That is called as black and white attitude. For them either thing is totally correct or totally wrong, neither a mid-way nor any balanced approach.
Wrong Self-assurance – The access indulgence in a negative approach convince a person in one or the other way. That person starts self-patting with words like ‘what I think is correct’ and ‘what I do is perfect’. The wrong self-assurance leads to unhealthy attitude when things do not meet the self proclaimed criteria.
Conclusion of their own – They conclude things on their own, for them half glass of water are half glass empty.
10 Ways to Deal with Negativity
- Understand the mind-set – The one who indulges in undue criticism, his mind-set need to be understood first. The unrealistic words are simply weightless, have absolutely no lessons to learn from. Those negative words are just like a mirage in the desert, as it is impossible for it to turn into water so is the case of the one who tries to shake your confidence level.
- No tit for tat attitude – If there is a tit for tat attitude, the possibility of getting benefited from loose talks will lose its charm. There remains no difference between the two. Just stop arguing. Move ahead, you have your own plan and things to be done. When a positive behavior comes in turn of a negative one, the chances of illuminating the opponent’s mind increases, apart from safeguard of the self.
- Make your heart adjustable – Over-reaction or extreme reaction is a result of what impresses upon the heart. When it is affected, person reacts immediately. So, healthy or unhealthy reaction depends on how firm grip one has over his heart. Make your heart adjustable to words and actions.
- Be independent – The reaction reveals personality. If the outside pressure is accepted than the behavior changes. Since negativity badly impresses, one has to be with a strong mind that whatever happens in the out-side world, the world inside his mind will not change. The mind should follow its own goals and objectives. It means the behavior should not depend on ‘good for good and bad for bad kind of approach’. Be independent and have your own identity.
- Have patience – One of the best weapon to face the war of criticism is to have patience, it is so powerful that any war can be won. Patience does not mean a mute approach over negativity. It means a continuous process of sustained efforts; it’s a confident march towards the goal regardless of opposition and severe criticism.
- React with the best of alternatives – Facing negativity sometimes demands that a person should immediately react with suitable alternatives. If anyone criticizing the knowledge or the abundance of resources, one should start discussing the healthy impacts one can ensure with these blessings.
- Believe in yourself – In any circumstances the disgraced words should not budge you, neither from your commitment nor from your efforts. A strong belief in the self plays crucial role and help the person conquers the battle of words.
- Have a broad mind and a kind heart – By virtue of permissiveness and kindness, a person can handle even a tense situation prudently, his initiatives appear wise and his actions become an illustration of good.
- Live by your dream – The dream reflects the inner self. Broad vision, noble feelings and great thoughts, Let these not get disturbed at any cost, live by your dream. Shun the negative thoughts; prove your mettle by realizing your dream.
- Never give up – The frame of mind ‘I won’t budge’ is precious like anything. Firmness like mountain, uninterrupted flow like a river, reaching heights like a tree must inspire us to be firm in our commitment, noble in our plan and exceptional in our methodology.
How do you beat the negativity?
Negativity in Action
If you think over the shades and causes of negativity, it appears that most of the inhuman efforts that come into notice are the resultant of such approach. Negativity can be expressed in terms of words and actions, till now, what we have seen looks like the lips service of a person with a negative approach, but if you go deep and wide into the negative way of thinking, the following actions will surely emerge as their shades:
- Oppression – that is violation of human rights.
- Waging wars.
- Self-proclaimed victory over inhuman acts.
- Deliberate attempts towards hatred and animosity.
The prevention of such actions is possible through:
- Repentance - it shows the attachment of a person with his God, the one who is close to God, will remain close to the people.
- Concentration over self-purification.
- Good deeds.
- Service of humanity with a deep sense of love.
- Mutual co-operation and understanding.
(C) 2014 - Muhammad Abdullah Javed (m abdullah javed)
© 2014 muhammad abdullah javed