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Let's not get angry

Updated on May 8, 2013

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Stop the Anger Before it turns to Danger

Last week one of my sister's grandchildren was nearly killed by her babysitter because the woman was angry. Thanks to all the prayers given for the two month old baby girl, she is now home and safe and happy acting as if nothing happened to her.

I try to understand why this babysitter would do such harm to an innocent child. With four children of her own and a fifth on the way, and babysitting a total of seven children that day, her hormones were raging. The baby was crying and she could no longer take it, so she shakes the baby to make her quiet and forcefully throws her into her seat or carrier, causing shaken baby syndrome. Thankfully, the baby sitter had the courage to call the baby's Mommy when she noticed the child pale and unresponsive. If not, that child may not have survived.

Now that I know she is home safe and the babysitter has been arrested, I try to think how can someone prevent themselves from getting to such a point of rage?

The first time you become uncomfortable with a situation that you are in, you need to speak up. Maybe you don't like that restaurant and maybe you feel your choices never really count? Maybe you are stressed and anxious about finances. Maybe you are aggravated at the dog jumping up and down at you everytime you walk in the room and maybe you are exhausted from working all day and now you have a crying baby at home. There are many things that make you upset or aggravated or uncomfortable, but most of the time we do not talk about it. We keep everything inside until you can't take it anymore and you explode or someone or some things around you explode.

Step 1 - Take deep breaths. As soon as you realize you are getting upset or aggravated, stop and take some deep breaths very slowly. Many times doing this exercise will calm you down or delay the anger.

Step 2 - Be honest when you become upset. Speak up right away so those around you are aware you don't like or don't really want to go. You will feel better and not be miserable doing something you don't want to do. Many times you are able to talk about the situation and the problem or feeling is resolved.

Step 3 - Get yourself out of a situation that is making you irritated or aggravated. If you are babysitting and the child will not stop crying, first bring the baby in another room in her seat calmly and take yourself away from the crying. Then call the mother and explain that you have had a bad day and she really needs to come take her baby. The baby will be safe, the baby sitter will have the time she needs to relax, and no one should be angry with each other.

Step 4 - Be thankful. After you have settled down, be thankful for being able to make a change to the situation so that you could become calmer. Know that everyone is entitled to be angry and be thankful the anger did not turn into danger.

Step 5 - Meditate and do yoga or exercise that you like. Meditation, yoga, tai-chi, and qi gong are all calming exercises that help regulate your moods and keep you calmer. Any exercise that you do is known to help you stay more positive.

Step 6 - Include healthy changes to your diet that help with anxiety or stress. Cut back on caffeine or avoid if you are prone to anxiety. Caffeine makes you more anxious and more irritated. Pumpkin seeds and nuts are great to help improve your mood along with calming hot teas. Omega 3 foods help and leafy green vegetables are good and plenty of water. Stay away from processed and sugary foods.

I do understand how someone can be full of rage, because I have experienced that myself. If you allow yourself to get to that point, you don't think straight. All you have is anger and you want it to go away. But if you do not stop and breathe deep, talk about what makes you upset and get out of the situation, that anger can turn into danger for others and yourself.

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    • Nancy C Moores profile image

      Nancy C Moores 4 years ago

      You took a bad situation and turned it into something good. I appreciate the constructive way of dealing with anger you took. I have been trying to remember to do deep breathing and it really does help because you are concentrating on your breathing, so that takes you away from the situation. Then you can start thinking on what is going wrong. I can't say how I feel in those situations because I am told always that I am wrong, so I have to rely on breathing, or explode which I still do on occasion. If I don't let go I will explode in a different way I fear like you brought out. Good article and good info. Keep writing.

    • gaybrilla profile image
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      Gaybrilla Debord 4 years ago from Palm Springs

      thanks Barbara, yes it was horrible when we did not know if the baby would make it but I am so happy she is now safe at home. You see the baby's happy face and all the problems go away. Anger is a problem for many of us, and it's just a shame that the baby sitter didn't realize this ahead of time.

    • Barbara Kay profile image

      Barbara Badder 4 years ago from USA

      That is terrible about your sister's baby and so unfair. You have some good suggestions here.