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Letting go of the past when it is not easy to do

Updated on February 2, 2013

letting go of a wound that was chronic

where we've been, to where we are going
where we've been, to where we are going | Source

Healing the wounds

healing from within
Steps to Freedom

How common is that we hear, " just let go of the past?" " Stop living in the past?" or ""forget that stuff, it was twenty years ago.?" We know that this is a valid statement, but somehow deep inside us we realize that something is just not right, doesn't feel right, and we may get a gut instinct about certain topics or events of the past.

healing the wounds that bind

These instincts we feel are trying to tell us something. They are indicators that there is something we are storing inside, our mind, our hearts, or even our body cell memories. Like a flashing light,
it can be a signal to point us to where we need healing. Some of us may have only three to five areas to address, and some of us may have been storing them inside for years. The grief, and pain, so deep that is affecting our mental, emotional, and physical health. Holding onto this pain has a real effect on our relationships with others, and how we interact in general socially. I found that we can be truly free of the past in terms of pain, but that it takes a lot of patience, and a lot of hard work.

Seeking the help of a counselor is recommended so we can feel safe to approach issues if we have had trauma or have been in abusive situations in life. The old saying that it may get worse before it gets better is also true. Sometimes we have a lot to actually grieve over, and release, as well as get a healthier perspective on, to free ourselves from things like shame, guilt , unwarranted blame etc. For me this was a very painful journey as i had to learn to rid my soul of unhealthy family dysfunction, in order to move on in life, with a truly fresh start. I encourage anyone who is in emotional pain, or agony that they can't quite define, or wonder why they are repeating harmful patterns in life, to seek help, start slow, be patient. In time you can heal and let go of the harm of the past, and hang onto the good the golden nuggets of our past that will allow us. Our future is dependent upon the ways we find, to process the wounds we never had the time to deal with, setting ourselves and others free, is a fantastic feeling.

Please submit a comment in the box below the ads. Share your thoughts and ideas. Thank you, am looking forward to hearing from you.

If you have some unresolved issues, and would like help, I'd be happy to share with you the steps I have taken to heal, clear and resolve these past issues.

Leave me a message and I can find a way to contact you.

I also do two free counsel sessions, for Highly Sensitive persons.

Thank you.

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looking ahead, after looking back


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    • jaydene profile image

      jaydene 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Thank you so much for your comment Faith. Yes one day at a time, and leaving the past where it belongs. moving forward with hope and courage :)

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA


      Thanks so much for this heartfelt hub here. Things from our past surely can eat away at us and harm us here in the present. It is very difficult indeed, especially harmful words spoken that just seem to stick in one's mind. I appreciate the advice you have shared here to help others. We must realize the past is just that, the past, and we can do nothing to go back and change anything that has already happened, but we can move forward in this day, one day at a time, and allow healing to take place.

      Excellent write here

      Voted up ++++ and sharing

      God bless you. In His Love, Faith Reaper

    • jaydene profile image

      jaydene 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Stina, I admire you for getting help with these issues, as even though it can hurt, it is so worth it to learn to let go of the past, once we can reframe it , in time we can accept and move on with as clean slate as possible ;)

    • Stina Caxe profile image

      Cristina 4 years ago from Virginia

      Great Hub. I definitely struggle with past issues that I can't let go and I am currently in therapy trying to manage these memories and stop them from controlling my present-day thoughts and feelings. Good advice!

    • jaydene profile image

      jaydene 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Hi thank you for stopping in, there are some advice out there that is a bit radical for sure. We all have to do it in our own way, that works, I have also read many books that didn`t make any of this easier,. One thing I know for sure is that it is good to get rid of toxic relationships.

      and hang on to the good ones, that make you feel better. it is a tough journey, but it is amazing how much the past can pile up in us. without our knowing it ;) THE codependents classes gave me only so much also. so i do know what you mean there ..... Let me know if anything special you did helped the most....

    • Oscarlites profile image

      Oscar Jones 4 years ago from Alabama

      You seem to be right on.. yes.. I read about 15 self help books after the wreckage and then almost a year of codependents class which i didn't buy all of it, but also i didn't agree with getting rid of everyone in your world like dr. cloud and john townsend suggest either.. and hard for me to be from mars, mr gray. .. haha thanks for the tips.. i could always use the help.

    • jaydene profile image

      jaydene 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      Hello Ed, thank you for stopping in. When I visualize the stairway, I am going up the stairs, and leaving the past behind. the top of the stairs to me represents going forward. and starting again. I was born on an ocean side town, and will always love the water. :) thanks again

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 4 years ago

      If I could step onto that stairway to the sea each day , I would forget the entire world , say nothing about the past ! Thank you for the advice ! Write on my dear !.......Ed

    • jaydene profile image

      jaydene 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      So true, we need to pack our past away, and not take it with us on our journey into the future. We can never change the past, but yes learn and go forward :)

    • jantamaya profile image

      Maria Janta-Cooper 4 years ago from UK

      My life philosophy is that, our life is much too short to live in the past. The past is gone and we can't change it. We should learn from the past and move on. We live just now; not in the past and not yet in the future.

      Your hub is helpful for everyone who needs to realize it.

    • profile image

      nabil bouyki 4 years ago from kentra maroc

      Thank you for technical education and technology will be is great will spread in the world

    • jaydene profile image

      jaydene 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      yes , i do realize that there are somethings, physical that cannot be healed. but they can be somehow transformed through acceptance. I am so glad that you have more good than bad. Seeing it clearly is so important, especially on those not so good days. let me know if you wish to expand on your experience.... it's a great community and i feel we are all here for each other. Thank you Mhatter99.

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this. My illness makes it impossible to escape my past (memories are real for me). Fortunately I have more good than bad.