Ever Wondered Why People Lie & Deceit?
Have you ever wondered why people allow themselves to be the culprit of pure deceit and what instigates people to tell lies? There are many reasons people lie; but it mainly falls on hatred, greed, and fear. Well, the heart is the most deceitful part of the body from all members, and unless desired, it can be beyond cure. Many consequences come with dishonesty and deceit. Does anyone know why people deceive others or understand what causes people to tell lies?
Studies show that a typical person lies numerous times a day. Most children start lying at about the age of three or four - the age kids gain knowledge of the use and power of language. When a child tells the first lie it is not considered mischievous, but rather to discover, or analysis, how they can manipulate. Almost everybody lies. Some call it a “white” lies, as other just “omits the truth” at times, yet they are all lies.
Definitions of lying and deceit (Lying VS Deception)
"Lie" - a false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood" – The Free Dictionary.
"Deceit" - a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive " – The Free Dictionary.
A lie is spoken by the mouth while deception is planned to mislead individuals with what is not the truth. Both ends with the same result, the victims trust something that is not the truth. A lie is some form of deception while deception does not always involve lying, although they are both erroneous.
The Liar in You (Pathological Liar)
Research shows about 4% of people that lies are achieved liars, and they can do it in deceitful ways. When a person loves to lie, they develop a high tolerance for deception. A pathological liar misleads people knowing they have no intention of keeping their words. Therefore, walking away from a pathological liar means you have nothing to lose. A pathological liar is willing to fight to make sure they maintain your trust. They struggle to keep an open position with people knowing the intent is that others be taken in. Nonetheless, let’s us not forget Sir Walter Scott saying: "Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice deceiving!"
Dealing with lies and betrayal is never easy, but what is simple about trusting a liar. And to remain friends with them when it best to end the friendship means more disappointment and heartache. However, when we believe a liar, we always find ourselves being deceived instead of walking away from someone who does not deserve our trust. However, when reality finally kicks in, there isn't anything quite like the realization that you've been lied to by someone you trusted. You will be hurt but remember a liar is one who lies with the intention that someone else will believe them.
Lying and Deceit Causes
To steer clear of lying and deceit and genuinely understand the cause of it one needs to know what causes a person to lie and deceive. In the real world today, lying exists in our everyday life. There are various reasons why people lie and deceive. Some lie and deceive because they are selfish and want to fool other to make sure things go their way. Most lie because they are not responsible for their actions; others lie to hide the truth. Selfish, deceitful people tend to lie to gain financially or look good and avoid punishment. However, the primary cause of lying is personality disorders.
A person with personality disorders tends to lie compulsively. According to MayoClinic.com, Persons with a personality disorder have "no regard for right and wrong." A personality disorder is a mental illness that interferes with an individual’s thinking patterns. They tend to have manipulative and abusive behavior and lack of remorse or regret as they often blame others when conflict arises. People with personality disorders have difficulty relating to others because they have erroneous perceptions and it as if they feel bound to lie about everything.
The big question is how do we overcome dishonesty and learn how to begin telling the truth? Below is different scriptures from the Bible to assist overcome lying and deceit.
• Leviticus 19:11- “Do not steal.” “Do not lie,” ‘Do not deceive one another. (NIV)
• Proverbs 20: 17 - Bread of deceit is sweet to a man, but afterward his mouth shall be filled with gravel. (KJV)
• Psalms 101:7 - He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight. (KJV)
• Psalms 10:7 - His mouth is full of cursing and deceit and fraud: under his tongue is mischief and vanity. (KJV)
• Proverbs 6:16-19 – There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community. (NIV)
• Exodus 20:16 - “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. (NIV)
• Ephesians 4:25 - Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. (NIV)
• 1 Timothy 1:10 - for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine. (NIV)
The scriptures above are direct against lying. Although pathological liars know that lying is morally wrong, they still do it. As humans, lying may be happenings beyond our control unless we just want to help. To get the help, we must ask God for help and allow him to be there for us. However, when we knowingly tell a lie, we deliberately choose to deceive others. Nonetheless, some of us are hungry to trust and assume the best in others. When a person wants to believe what another tells them, they honestly think the other person is telling the truth. The best strategy is probably to wait until a person shows you that they can be trusted before you begin believing them. Also, it's best to study the individual’s behavior to identify manipulative traits.
Overcoming Deception with Love and truth
Most people are seldom what they seem; everybody wants to love, but to be loved, we must trust. That trust must be built on openness. Telling the truth is necessary to create a unique bond to be combined with both physical and emotional belief. Everybody dislikes liars, especially people who lie on purpose like a sociopath. However, some have the power to make you trust in them, but we all have a choice to believe. Nonetheless, saying things that are not truth means you “omits the truth” an undeclared word to trick others to believe you.
At the heart of this issue of lying is what a pathological liar does, they want everything to is centered on them. How you react to pathological liars emotionally is essential. You cannot hate them as it gives them the control they do not deserve, respond to them positively by figuring out where you want to go from there. It is best to maintain boundaries and find the real need to move forward. Pathological liars often tell more lies with the growth of time. When liars feel they are getting away with lying, it often drives them to continue their deceptions. Also, liars often find themselves telling many lies to prevent being caught.
People fail to trust after they have been hurt by someone who has taken advantage of their trust. Self-deception is one of the most desolate forms of deceit because most of us want to believe and assume the best in other people. Pathological liars are an expert at deception. They make it hard for others to discover they have been lying to them. Of course, upon being exposed to an untruth, it is best for pathological liars to figure out what compelled them to start lying. This means creating a better relationship with God to determine why you feel the need to lie and deceive others. Also, going into treatment with a therapist is another good idea. Seeking help, both ways give you a better chance of overcoming deception and begin living life with love and truth as well as give you the determination to stop lying.
When we choose to trust another, we knowingly trust and give another, information about ourselves. Establishing this kind of shared knowledge can be unfavorable because you are building a foundation for a lot of ill-gotten gains. Just as trust can offer a feeling of security, it can also bring about painful heartache and lays the ground for betrayal and deceit. Research shows when two people share passion and love, they are awful at revealing when their partners are lying. A person in love tends to hold different standards for their partners when it comes to believing the truth. However, we must keep in mind a liar will lie all the time, about anything.
Remember true love can hide a multitude of faults, and it can always conquer whatever discord brings. God’s love for the world was so immeasurable that he surrendered his only son, Jesus. The Bible shares, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. Moreover, we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” 1 John 3:16 (NIV) Love is a powerful weapon that should never be underestimated. When love comes into a person's life that seems cold and lifeless, it has a way of bringing new meaning that was once lost and bring hope back into an individual's life.
When a person sometimes wants to give up on love, and it just cannot be found. They need to allow God to have a full reign of their heart. He will restore the respect and trust that were lost. Love is always worth having, no matter how high the price. Finding and sharing love is still worth the price if we allow God to help us prepare to pay the cost. The newfound love will be much stronger when we trust in Jesus Christ and let him guide us and live in our heart. Then and only then will we know true love and be able to overcome lies and deception with love and truth for this He will impart.
Lies & Deceit
Do you believe almost everybody lies?
Honest liars -- the psychology of self-deception: Cortney Warren at TEDxUNLV
Percentage of Children Lying Behavior
© 2015 Pam Morris