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Life Lessons Learned: Part 1 (How To Love)

Updated on July 6, 2012

Different Side of Me

For those of you who have been following me for the past few weeks, you are well aware that I enjoy being funny and witty when it comes to my writing approaches. I love to make others life, especially my friends. Although I love being funny and making others laugh, I also can be serious at the same time.What I am going to attempt to do here(and in the sequels to come) is to pull a 180 and head in the other direction(that direction being serious)

I know, I know, just take a deep breath, and try to relax(if you feel like you are going to pass out, just dial that hotline number from my recipe hub. If you have forgotten for some bizarre reason or failed to take notes, the number is 1-(800)-the-chef and we can offer you some medical assistance) Sorry, I couldn't resist, had to throw one funny comment in there. I promise no more funny for me from now on, that is at least until this hub is over.

Well, here we go on an adventure ride through some of the experiences I have had over the years.

Short Life In Comparison

I will be sharing with you some of the life lessons I have learned over the past several years of my life. If you know me all ready, or have visited my introduction hubs, you are well aware that I am 25 years old. With that being said, I know I am younger than several of the hubbers out there in the community. But, that is all right, for I am not going to step down and have a quiet voice. I want to rise up and take the challenge, for although I may still be young, I have had the opportunity to learn incredible things through hardships, schooling, and life in general. I may not be as experienced in life as some, but I have gone through a lot and feel it necessary to share that information with you. So, I hope you can leave this with some insight to take with you.

Unconditional Love: Lesson 1

Right of the bat, I want to inform everyone that I am not perfect in this area, but am working at it every day. I am giving it my best of efforts, and have both feet pointed forward.

Over the years, I have had many opportunities to share love with those around me, as I am sure you can attest to as well. We have these opportunities everyday. When I say unconditional love, I want you to be aware that I am not just referring to a relationship only. Love is necessary everywhere, whether it be someone you meet in the grocery store, your children, your boss and co-workers, or your spouse. Before I move forward let me ask this question: What is unconditional love? This kind of love has no limitations, no physical boundaries. It is not a if you do this for me type of love, or if you do that for me type of love. Once the "if" is mentioned, a condition has been added to the equation. Unconditional means no matter what, I will love you. I will love you, even if you don't love me back.

Year Of Travel

The greatest opportunity I have had to spread love over the last few years was when I took a year off of college and traveled with a group of ten guys along the east coast of the United States and overseas. Love is one of the many lessons I learned that year, but I will refrain from delving into the others at the moment. I know the reader can only handle so much reading at a time. For those of you who have ever traveled for any length of time, you will be able to relate when I say that it gets rather difficult to love the people you are with. People begin to invade your space, popping your bubble, so-to -speak. To give you a glimpse into what I am referring to when I say I have traveled for a year, allow me to share with you what a normal day would like in our busy schedule.

3:00-8:00 Travel to destination and eat dinner

8:00-9:00 Set up sound equipment and practice

9:00-10:00 Concert

10:00-10:30 Tear down

10:30:11:00 Say goodbye

11:00-12:00 Drive to new host homes and meet them

12:00-6:00am Rest only to repeat the same steps over again

Now, you may have a better understanding of what I mean.

Hectic Traveling

6:00-6:30am Wake up and eat breakfast at host home

6:30-7:00am Pack up and say goodbye to hosts

7:00-11:00 Travel to destination

11:00-12:00pm Set up sound equipment and practice

12:00-1:00 LUNCH

1:00-2:00 Concert

2:00-2:30 Tear down

2:30-3:00 Say goodbye


Realization

Throughout our travels, I had several opportunities to spread love to those in my group. In order to love my friends effectively, I had to realize one important aspect. And that was if and when I gave love, it might not be given back to me. I can't love to be loved, that is not the meaning of unconditional love. I love to love, and that is it.(I only wish it were as easy as saying it is) Loving with no expectation in return. That is unconditional love.

A few of us at the peak of Mt, Pacaya, the volcano we hiked up during our trip to Guatemala.
A few of us at the peak of Mt, Pacaya, the volcano we hiked up during our trip to Guatemala.

Bond Of Friendship

Our group of guys developed a unbreakable bond of friendship that year. We had our ups and downs, but that was the glue to our friendship. Our love for each other is what held us together. I loved these guys dearly and still keep in touch with a few of them today. There were days when loving each other were hard. Maybe it was the immaturity(this was five years ago), or the rude comments, you know, the typical stuff that happens when you are living with someone for a year. Or, in this case not someone, but ten guys! There were moments that I wanted to slap them across the face, but fortunately for them I chose to resist. Because of our love for each other, our bond of friendship was able to last.

Honest Appraisal

Like I have all ready mentioned, I am not perfect in this area of unconditional love. In fact, I am probably farther away than where I would to like to be if I am honest with myself. But, I will not let that stop me from pushing forward and making every effort to love those I come in contact with. You see, unconditional love is not something that comes naturally. It must be constantly sought after. This type of love does not take place overnight. It is not the natural approach either. I don't naturally want to love everyone I come in contact with, and unfortunately I don't. But I am learning and working hard at this, for it is a never-ending process.Unconditional love takes practice, hard work, and dedication. I am giving it my best efforts every day.


Closing Thoughts

I hope this has helped you in some way, shape, or form. Unconditional love is something we all struggle with if we are blatantly honest about it. We need to work together as a community, or else this type of love will begin to deteriorate. It is not the norm in today's society. We live in a give-to-receive world. And the only thing that will stop that from remaining the norm, is to take on this type of love with everything we can muster! Are you with me?

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    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      yeah J, count me in! You have a lot of deep words, very young but already have so much experience in life which molds him into a better person! Go J!!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks M, I appreciate the encouraging comment! :)

    • Suzie HQ profile image

      Suzanne Ridgeway 4 years ago from Dublin, Ireland

      Wise words spoken from you Josh, Congrats on another great article! Enjoyed your 180 turn, life is a learning curve we all go through and your writing shows how much you have already taken on board, many are still pondering! Love your style, an avid follower! Keep it up!:)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Aww, Suzie thanks so much, you just put a huge grin on my face! That was so kind of you to say!

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      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      Agree wholeheartedly with your statements on unconditional love, Josh. It is indeed difficult to love someone, whether family, friends, or your life partner - without emotional strings attached, expecting nothing in retun. We're not perfect! Thanks for sharing!

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

      Another great Hub Josh. You are so right about unconditional love and sometimes it can be a hard thing to love someone no matter what. I am a bit older than you, but do remember very well being your age and feeling very much like you in this area. I will say meeting my husband and having my kids has kind of put unconditional love in a new light for me, because before that I really only knew it on one level that of my immediate family. Well done yet again, voted up and shared!

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      Civil War Bob 4 years ago from Glenside, Pennsylvania

      Good hub, Josh, voted up, useful, interesting, beautiful. Funny I should read of you climbing a volcano today when last night I just watched, "The Last Days of Pompeii"...timing is everything, I guess. Enjoy your weekend.

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Josh - You are wise beyond your years. The definition of love gets lost on us sometimes. You did so well pointing out exactly what unconditional loves entails.

      I always enjoy reading about your life adventures and I can't wait to be taken along on the next.

      Take care friend.

    • glmclendon profile image

      glmclendon 4 years ago

      josh, good hub. You did a good work and you seem to be on your way to some really good writing. Voted Up

      Stay Well

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Yep, you talk about love and I'm all over that message! Bravo my young friend. You are speaking my language here and it is a message that never grows old. Great hub nephew!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks for reading and commenting, I really appreciate your loyalty to me, and hopefully I am doing the same for you!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks a bunch Janine! Thanks for beginning to be very loyal to me, it means a lot! Thanks for reading, for voting, and for stopping by1

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Haha, yeah that is good timing. Thanks for the votes, comment, and share CWB, I appreciate it! Have a great weekend yourself!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Aww, thanks shining! I really appreciate you reading all my stuff,it means so much to me! Thanks shining! You take care as well!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thank glm, and glad you liked it! :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks uncle for stopping by, I always appreciate you and what you have to say!

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      A very powerful message in this poem. I agree with you Josh. Unconditional love is hard to give. Those people who are closest to us are the ones who are most difficult to love at times. voted up!

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 4 years ago

      in this article I meant....

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks for stopping by Doc! Always appreciate your comments!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      haha, thanks Doc! :)

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 4 years ago from North Carolina

      Living life to fullest isn't something even the oldest people have mastered. You are wise beyond your years! Great hub.

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 4 years ago from New York City

      Josh, you have learned a valiant lesson in life about unconditional love, and I think it stems from a persons upbringing as well, for example.

      My mother loved me with all her heart and till her very last breath on this earth, she shared everything she had with me unconditionally without expectations as to receiving anything back in return.

      Many years later when I became a grown man, I began to become successful in my own way as a Naval Aviator, and I helped my mom with anything she needed to show her my appreciation for her dedicated devotion and undying love to me, and for my 4 other brothers.

      This completed the cycle of unconditional love, and since such an occurence has happened in my life, I know how to love others as well, and been spreading as much of such a true love with my wife, friends, relatives, associated, and even strangers I meet on the ground and digitally on many networks across the web including hubpages.

      So, in effect your hub has embraced such a truth, and I would like to commend you on doing such a wonderful job at expressing your feeling and deepest emotions to us all of the online community on hubpages and beyond.

      Exceptional hub Josh, voted up and getting shared on my new FB profile, chat with ya soon on Facebook, and you already know that I'm with you on the whole spreading love factors & sharing with others here and elsewhere as well.

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Aww, thanks Tammy! :) You are too kind!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks so much cloud for your wonderful comment and insights! Thanks for stopping by, and commenting, and sharing, I really appreciate that!

    • subscribing profile image

      subscribing 4 years ago

      Nice hub. It's good to open up at times and let out some emotions - especially online :-P. After all, the Internet is an awesome place to find information, make friends and time wasting.

      But stopping by here I must confess that if we share our common life knowledge, we can surely become more intelligent and overcome human's greatest problems (that's what think-tanks-do are for).

      Thank God for one another and thank God for God.

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting subscribing, I appreciate it!

    • Angela Brummer profile image

      Angela Brummer 4 years ago from Lincoln, Nebraska

      You are wise beyond your years grasshopper! I had been pulled aware from the internet for a few days but, had to check in with you! :) Great article! How important it is to project love instead of hate! You make the world a better place and I am happy to know someone that at your young age has grasped something that so many people can never comprehend! Bless you!

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      Nancy Yager 4 years ago from Hamburg, New York

      You are very wise at such a young age. I really enjoyed your refreshing point of view. Look forward to future hubs.

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks so much Angela! I appreciate you stopping by and reading! :)

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks lipnancy! :)

    • Jlava73 profile image

      Jennifer Vasconcelos 4 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

      Hi Josh,

      You may be young but you are already wise and that will carry you far. Important message you deliver too. If we make love our focus how can we go wrong?

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks for stopping by jlava!

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      Ann1Az2 4 years ago from Orange, Texas

      Josh, I think you are a mature, polite young man who is well on his way to to making a very worthwhile contribution to society. Keep up the good work! Voted up.

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks Ann, I really appreciate that!

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      Terrye Toombs 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

      Josh: very good message and your writing is improving with each new hub. Keep up the good work and we'll make a writer out of you yet. :) VUMS

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks TT, I appreciate all the help you have given me! It is more than you know for sure!

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      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. This was truly wonderful and inspirational Josh. Thanks for sharing. Passing this on.

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Aww, thanks gypsy, I really appreciate that! :)

    • subscribing profile image

      subscribing 4 years ago

      BTW things are looking in this hub. Maybe you should write part 2 soon ;).

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks subscribing! :)

    • ChristyWrites profile image

      Christy Birmingham 4 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      How nice that at the young age of 25 (you are a young'in!) you are already taking stock of your life events. You are wise beyond your years my friend.

    • bdegiulio profile image

      Bill De Giulio 4 years ago from Massachusetts

      Hi Josh. You are a very wise young man. Many of us older hubbers are probably wondering why we didn't figure things out sooner. Good for you. Great job. Look forward to part 2.

    • Phelcky profile image

      Lilly 4 years ago from Denmark

      This was a great read! It's amazing of you to share this with us :)

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks so much Christy! I appreciate that! :)

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks so much bdegiulio! It will be coming out soon!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks Phelchy, appreciate it!

    • Mekenzie profile image

      Susan Ream 4 years ago from Michigan

      josh, the first time I experienced unconditional love was when I learned about my Heavenly Father and Jesus. He took me right where I was and Loved me, forgave me and gave me purpose, hope and joy. The second time unconditional love bowled me over was when I met my husband at college. I wrote a hub about true love and I used your word - glue in relationship to love.

      Great Hub - keep your friends close - keeping relationships going takes work but it is so worth it. I have more kindred spirit friends than I deserve .. How I thank God for them.

      Voted Up and Across,

      Have a GREAT Weekend Josh!

      Mekenzie

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks so much for stopping by Mekenzie and leaving an insightful comment! And thanks for the votes! :)

    • cclitgirl profile image

      Cynthia Calhoun 4 years ago from Western NC

      Wow a year of concerts and a crazy schedule! You are mature beyond your years (not that I'm that much older than you, haha) and it's nice to meet people who are into spreading peace and not arrogance or discord. Refreshing. Thanks for sharing this. :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks for reading Cyndi, and leaving such a great comment! I appreciate it! :)

    • Olde Cashmere profile image

      Olde Cashmere 4 years ago from Michigan, United States

      Wisdom comes not just with age but in the experiences we acquire. You've had an interesting path Josh, thank you for sharing what you have learned with us. Beautiful writing, voted up, awesome, beautiful, and interesting!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Thanks so much cashmere for the votes and compliment! :)

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Again, I am with you! Is this considered stalkerish!? Ha! Bring on the Unconditional Love!:)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Linda,

      No it does not mean you are a stalker lmao. :)

      Thanks for the comment!

    • lezsaysit profile image

      lezsaysit 4 years ago from New York, NY

      Beautifully said.

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Lezsaysit,

      Thanks, I appreciate the visit!

    • CrazedNovelist profile image

      A.E. Williams 4 years ago from Hampton, GA

      Josh I am not surprised by this hub. You, as a person seem to have a gentleness to you that can definitely support the idea that you love unconditionally. I'm around your age and I'm full aware of how hard it is sometimes to love people especially when at times you aren't (or don't feel) loved. So far you've been an awesome person and friend especially supporting your fellow hubbers and connecting. I personally want to thank you for that and I'm so glad that you've begun to assess what you've learned over the last few years. I'm sure there are similar things I've learned as well. Great job Josh, see ya around. ;)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Aubrey,

      Thanks so much for that awesome comment and encouraging words! Yes ii is hard to do, but the blessing for doing so is endless!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Josh, this is such a profoud hub. We humans speak of unconditional love, but as humans, that is very hard to portray. For some. To add to your comment that once "if" enters into the equation, love is conditional, you can also add "because". Although I've been raised with proper morals and never lacked for anything, my actions as a young adult resulted in being disowned twice. Not legally, but emotionally. It's heartbreaking! Of course, I've since been brought back into the fold, but I vowed I'd never, ever do that to my son! He's had a bout with the law, a misdemeanor. He learned his lesson the hard way, as most of us do, but I never shunned him. Never stopped him from being in my life.

      Unconditional love is Godly. We humans have a hard time living up to that. We should pay attention to our pets. It may sound simple, or off the subject, but our animals love us no matter what! That's what unconditional love is: loving someone (not shunning them to teach them a lesson) NO MATTER WHAT!

      You seem to feel the need to bring up your age, but I'll tell you what, my friend, you are huge in that you know what's important. You've learned early. That makes for a good friend. A good spouse. A good parent. A good human being. God is smiling at your revelation and so am I! I've told you before, you don't need a Fairy Godmother. You've got it goin' on!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      WOW! Shauna, thanks so much for that awesome comment! The best comment I have ever received hands down! It totally rocked! You are so awesome for that! This comment really encouraged me right now! Thanks so much fairy godmother! :)

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      My pleasure, my friend. This hub elicited my response. Pat yourself on the back!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Shauna,

      Once again thanks so much for everything you have done for me since I have joined HubPages!

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      Jessee R 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

      Words of wisdom Josh.... words of wisdom...

      Great writing

    • Super Lux profile image

      Super Lux 4 years ago from Singapore

      thanks for sharing your lessons :)

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      rahul,

      Thanks buddy! Glad you enjoyed it!

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      super lux,

      You are indeed welcome! :)

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      Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Josh, you are wise beyond your years. And this coming from the winning PB&J sandwich recipe guy! I love your spirit, whether funny or serious. Beautiful hub, my young friend. I'm with ya! I'm trying! I gave you every vote I could find (wish there were a few more!)

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Vicki,

      Thanks so much for your compliment here!! Thanks for the votes, you are too kind!

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      Tim Mitchell 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

      Josh, you know me and that I can turn a comment into a hub with the blink of an eye. Spontaneity says, Nam Friends, ponder says those loves of the life I live with those lessons, thought says 'don't preach to the choir,' caution says "Do I learn wisdom of youth or do I liken wisdom to yesterday," fatherhood says, "you've come a long way, son," and with a tad of humor inspired by you I say in the language of Kung Fu, "Grasshopper, the pebble is still in my hand." (wink). I caution always I read more than comment. I vote when I remember an ailment of medications. I have a note on my monitor now saying, "Vote Silly Boy," heard in a mythical voice of a Dearest Best Friend.

      I am tempted, yet shall not, leaving you with a thought of a place near your - Gettysburg. Have a great Sunday . . .

      a friend, tim

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      Maria Jordan 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Oh I am grateful to Terrye T for promoting as I had missed this.

      Josh, you have a wise and serious side that is so inspirational. I am proud of you for refraining from slapping your friends, whilst heaven knows we have all been tempted! That earned you the "F" so I could vote this UP and across the board. Hugs, Maria

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      ignugent17 4 years ago

      You have been a very good follower josh. You always come and visit my hubs. You are truly a good friend. Thanks for this thoughtful hub. What more can I say? Voted up and more.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 4 years ago from South Africa

      Josh, you have your head firmly and square on your shoulders. Your wisdom at the age of 25 is remarkable. We never stop learning; we never stop trying to be wiser and better in everything we do. So don't ever become disheartened because you 'feel' you still have a lot to learn. We often fall, but those of us who are winners, will simply get up and move on, ARMED with the wisdom we have obtained.

      Voted up and remarkable :)

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      Rich 4 years ago from Kentucky

      Josh-

      You do realize this hub was totally unnecessary, don't you?

      There is absolutely no reason for you to talk about what everyone see's you demonstrate daily, with every interaction that takes place.

      To be blunt, I'd like to see you get pissed off once and just let loose, but I'm not gonna hold my breath on that one! lol

      You're wise beyond your years. Of course, you already know that, too! Thanks for being a friend!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Tim,

      Thanks for your beautiful comment here Tim! It is much appreciated!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Maria,

      Thanks for visiting! And yes, thanks to Terrye! Ah, I am glad I earned the funny vote, LOL Thanks so much Maria!

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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      ignugent17,

      Thanks, and the same to you! I am glad to follow you!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Martie,

      Thanks for your beautiful comment here Martie! I appreciate your support!

    • josh3418 profile image
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      Joshua Zerbini 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Rich,

      Thanks so much for you awesome support and compliment here buddy!

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