Getting Rid of Your Baggage
My Letting Go Tree
The little tree in the photo is one I have had for more than five years. This is my 'letting go' tree.
I wish I had had a Letting Go tree sooner. I read the little book , Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo many years ago.
It is filled with wisdom that each of us might consider.
Aufait stopped by and commented on this hub and said that a life without baggage would mean one had been living on the sidelines (paraphrasing), letting life pass by. A statement I cannot disagree with at all.
I actually do not think I have ever met anyone who has not had some baggage, some challenges to face.
However I do think that facing off with whatever the baggage is that may come, acknowledging it, and letting go is what works for me. Perhaps that may not work for someone else.
Keeping tucked away somewhere whatever it was also serves as a reminder for future experiences that may come.
Let Go of Fear
One person who commented on this hub said that they realized that my family and I have gone through some difficult challenges so for me to write this meant a lot to her.
Well, one area I did not mention was letting go of fear.
If you have a loved one or more than one loved one, who has been diagnosed with a catastrophic illness which may or may not be described as terminal, then you know about fear.
There are other types of fear that hold us in their grip as well. My greatest challenge was living in fear of what next with my family members whose lives pretty much are controlled by their illness. They are not defined by the illness but the fact that they have them does dictate a lot of how they live.
As the Momma and the Nanan of these two, I tried to control the next day and the day after that and the months ahead. And of course I could not do that. My life became consumed by worry and angst. And I was enveloped in fear.
I had an epiphany at some point. I realized that I was mourning them and they are ON the planet. I was missing the moments that I should relish. From that point forth, I dumped my fear and have not looked back.
Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not.
Add what is uniquely your own— ~~Bruce Lee
Do you wake up every morning, and even before your place your feet on the floor, being reminded of or thinking of something that angers you, hurts you, saddens you? Is it something that you cannot let go of?
Is it something you have struggled with for far too long but just have not chosen to put in your past?
It really is about choosing, you know.
You, meaning we can be defined by some past injustice, some past wrong, some past misstep on our own part.
We can stay in that place where we were at the time it first happened and be miserable for ever. There is a way around it: we can choose to let go.
The Innocence of a Child Can Remind Us of the Joy of Being Free
A must read for all ages. A dog, a young girl, a local woman deemed a 'witch' and other characters who will enchant you are part of this story that you will not soon forget.
Letting go of anger
Anger is so powerful. It seemingly holds all of the cards. It is a hand loaded with the all of the reasons to stay angry. What that person did was so horrendous, why would I ever consider letting go?
He, she, they stole my childhood, my livelihood , my children, my comfortable retirement. How can I not get up every day consumed with anger?
Anger eats at our insides…eating its way from deep inside of us, festering, gnawing, chewing away at what is at the core of our very being. Devouring ever fiber of our goodness until one day we are face to face with that demon.
“How many of us walk around being weighed down by the baggage of our journey? You can’t possibly embrace that new relationship, that new companion, that new career, that new friendship, or that new life you want while you’re still holding on to the baggage of the last one. Let go… and allow yourself to embrace what is waiting for you right at your feet.”— ~Steve Mariboli
Decide how to come to terms with anger
Anger can steal the better part of any day and can drag on for far too long, draining us of our positive energy and positive outlook.
We have worn it for so long that it has become a natural part of us, an expected part of each day, but at some point, gradually and insidiously, it begins to reach beyond us to those that we love and those that love us back.
Before it is too late, choosing to let go is the only choice.
There are those psychologists and psychiatrists of which I am neither who say that confronting the person the anger is directed towards is the way to move on. And that may be true for some. But I believe there are other ways and I think, notice I am saying, I think, because I am using my personal journey, that finding what works for you is equally as important as what someone else decided is best for you.
So Many Lessons Can Be Learned
Gloria shows Opal that the tree is there to serve to teach more than one lesson. She leads her to see:
- Only the present matters---do not judge others but what they were but by what you see now, what you know now of them.
- Everyone has their own ghosts.
- Everyone needs love and protection.
Letting Go Tree
There is a rather simple, short, and on the surface seemingly inconsequential book entitled
Because of Winn Dixie by Kate Di Camillo. You may have seen the movie with your children or grandchildren. Maybe it was just you alone who went to see it. The movie is actually quite true to the book.
This small book intended primarily for young children is one that all should read. It has so much of import for us to ponder and consider.
There is a character in the story that the neighborhood children have deemed a witch. Her name is Gloria Dump. You will remember her long after you after read the last page of this book.
The story unfolds and Opal, the main character second only to Winn Dixie (a lovable dog) in my view finds out a secret of Gloria’s.
In Gloria’s back yard she has a tree from which are hung many bottles. Gloria calls it her mistake tree.
Gloria is an alcoholic and each bottle is a mistake she made. She hung the bottles there as a reminder.
Because of Winn Dixie....A Book for All, A Sappy Little Movie with Great Sentiment +++ Some Important Messages
“Everyone you meet comes with baggage, find someone who cares enough to help you unpack.”— ~Ziad K. Abdelnour
Finding a way to let go
The application to our lives are there for the taking.
Make a mistake tree of your own and call it your LETTING GO TREE.
If you do not wish to hang bottles from it then find a way to make it work for you. Hang biodegradable ribbon or raffia from the branches, plant small plants around it when you feel a need to acknowledge something that you consider a mistake. Perhaps not your mistake but a bump in the road that is causing you angst and hindering you from letting go.
If you wish to hang or plant nothing near your tree, then figuratively 'dump' your mistakes, your anger, your fear, your sorrow. And do it at a figurative tree if using a real tree does not work for you.
Make this a meaningful experience for you...and no one needs to know unless you choose to share it. My thinking is you will probably want others to know after you find how freeing this process can become.
Yes indeed....Tim Got it Right!!!!
Nature's Beauty--- a Place to Let Go
What we need now
Dedicate Your Own Letting Go Tree
Be reminded perhaps of Gloria Dump as you dump whatever it is that is consuming your every day right there at your tree.
By actually leaving your home and walking out to the spot in nature where you have dedicated this tree, you are choosing to be rid of sorrow, or anger, or injustice.
If you live in an apartment or studio and have no tree, buy a small tree or plant to place somewhere in your home to use as your letting go place.
Perhaps you are thinking that seeing the tree will only be a reminder of what was troubling you in the first place. That may be case if you are not willing to let go. If by the action of going to your tree, acknowledging how you feel, how you have felt, and how you wish to feel from that point on is done with conviction, it will be a new beginning for you. It is about choice.
Freeing yourself, ourselves, from the ghosts that tie us to the past is cleansing and will redefine who we are and who we will become.
And, of course, your 'tree' can be simply a place where you commune with nature and take time to reflect and re-asses and to back up and regroup. Taking time for YOU is the best gift you can give yourself.
Taking Time for YOU to Experience Nature
Let go of sadness
When death comes and it will to each of us, it is for most a time of immense grief. We mourn for that one we loved so and while in many cases leaving us meant no more pain for them, it left us filled with sorrow.
And it is so important to acknowledge that sadness, that sorrow, that pain, that longing for one more chance to hold them, our anger at them for leaving us. The grief process is our way of addressing how we feel…allowing ourselves to be washed in the emotion we experience and coming to terms with it. For some it takes longer than others to grieve. It is an individual process and each one of us expresses it and acknowledges it in our own unique way.
There does come a time though when it is time to choose to let go. Letting go does not mean forgetting how much you love the person how much you miss them it simply means that for you, the sorrow will no longer keep you from the new today that comes whether you are ready or not.
It means no longer being consumed with sadness and loneliness. It means embracing the newness of life and relishing these new moments in full knowledge that your loved one would want that for you.
As a matter of fact, it has been my experience having lost a number of those that I loved so much and longed for and missed sorely in their death, that I found a new peace and a new connection to them once I was able to let go.
Forgive those who have wronged you and learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes.
— author unknown
Let go of mistakes and guilt
Letting go of mistakes and guilt may be the most difficult challenge we face in the letting go department. It seems that forgiving ourselves of anything is next to impossible.
The wasted years of agonizing over the what if’s of our lives have become a shield against facing the mistake--the mistakes, and the guilt that have become an expected part of our lives.
Again agonizing of whatever it was can not undo it. It cannot change it. It can only serve to keep you punishing yourself over and over and over.
For some going to the Letting Go tree will not be enough. If it is not, then you will need to find a way to make it right for your life. Write a letter and do not send it. Write a letter and send it.
Meet with the person that you feel deserves an apology or at least an acknowledgment of what you consider the reason for your guilt. This can be very painful and hurtful. You and the other person may feel worse for a time after the meeting but in time you will feel the sense that you have let go. By meeting with that person you will have faced down your demons, you will have done all you can do. Now it is time to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself and let go.
Allow Each Moment to be a New Step Forward
Every day is an opportunity to make the choices that will put the past where it should be. That does not mean that there are not lessons to be learned from the past. It simply means that the anger, the sorrow, the guilt, the mistakes can be left there…learn what you can from them and move on. Move on.
We have been given only a few minutes on this planet to spend it trying to second guess the past. Beating yourself up over something that happened long ago serves no purpose. It will destroy you and in so doing your relationships with others.
Use your minutes wisely. Hug them closely to you and selfishly guard them so that they are used to increase experiencing LIFE in the most remarkable ways that unfold for you.
Choose to let go and make each moment a new step forward.
Dedicate a Letting Go Tree …A Mistake Tree…whatever you wish to call it and choose to let go.
Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo