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Life after Death - Coping with Bereavement

Updated on September 2, 2010

Death, whether it is sudden or expected as in the case of someone suffering from a terminal illness , is for most people a shattering experience. The sense of loss and a feeling of helplessness can seem overwhelming and often accompanied by regret or guilt that perhaps we could have done more of the deceased .

The actual details to be dealt with such as the arrangement of the funeral tend to bring some relief as it can be viewed as doing something constructive and while the deceased is still physically present we may delude ourselves that death has not occurred.and it is only at the actual farewell ceremony do we realise that we shall no more see that person and all the thoughts and feelings left unspoken come into the equation.

The death of a child or young person is especially tragic and many people find difficulty in expressing condolence to the bereaved family and couch their language in euphemisms such as 'passed away' or 'lost'. From my own experience I preferred those who expressed condolences at the death of my own husband at 29 years of age to refer to him as having died, at least that way it was implied that he had lived and therefore I , and they, could talk about him and remember him and even laugh.

As with any event, it is a seven day wonder, and neighbours and friends, quite rightly, soon get on again with their own lives and life for the bereaved can be very lonely. Day to day tasks  such as cooking and shopping only serve to reinforce the feeling of emptiness and coming home to an empty house feels daunting.  With time, however,  life begins to return to a semblance  of normality and it is important to make sure that a routine and proper meal times are established. Strengths and skills you never  realised you had become apparent  and a sense of achievement  creeps into your mind.  Recalling happy memories and giving thanks for them and even laughing at those memories all help to lessen the sense of loss. 

No-one or nothing can replace a loved one who has died and they live forever in your heart.Life does go on and time does heal and if you are presently  suffering a bereavement I hope that you may find solace in the thoughts of one who was once in the place where you are now and having accepted the loss and asked for 'divine guidance' can now count the blessings and be thankful for all that life , both many joys and some sorrows, has given me.




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