Life in Death and Death in LIfe
Dealing with Death of our Loved Ones
More than a decade is over- precisely eleven years that my father left me and the family. Now my kids are no more babies. Actually my daughter was just nine months old when my father passed away. But after so many years, I still cannot believe that he is no more. His place in my heart cannot be bypassed till my heart beats. Why is it that the memory of our loved ones always linger and never fades though thousands of other things which happen in our life become a distant memory if try to recollect them?
Whenever I think of my father, the first things which come to my mind are his socializing nature, his habit of arguing with me just because he always wanted to have lengthy conversation. I was and still am not a person with many words. But my father was able to induce me to talk by getting some interesting topics of discussion and putting forth some strong arguments for which I had to open my mouth for more duration in order to prove my point. Now I miss all that simplistic talk, because he was the only person with whom I could fight with and eventually emerge as the winner, no matter whether I was right or wrong. My father loved to socialize a lot but not with people from upper strata; the socializing was with those unfortunate people from our native place who used to live in the city with their share of burden. As a child I had heard of my father's not so pleasant childhood from his own mouth as well from some of his relatives. He lost his mother when he was very young, around 7-8 years old. His sister was twelve years old and younger brother was 2 years old. His father was uneducated, so it was quite a task for him to bring up these 3 motherless children. He had to do many odd jobs to meet both the ends meet. When my father finished his schooling (at that time class ten is what we call today's high school level) with first class, he came to the city in search of a job. As we all know, when you try out your luck this way only with the security of qualification, it becomes a real arduous task. So it was a tough life for him. He got shelter in one of the relatives house, which was given in return of tutoring the relative's 3 small school going children. Before he got a secured government job, he had to even work in a restaurant to earn a decent living.
Today when I think of my father's career graph, along with my mother's determination, I know for sure that I wouldn't have been here writing these articles, if I didn't have parents like them. My mother is still a pillar of strength for me. But my father was so vivacious, so full of life. More than thinking of self, he used to spend more time in thinking about how he could help others. I remember as I child when he was very sick and was kept in the ICU; before undergoing operation, he told my eldest brother to take up a job in his place if need arises, and if possible to attend college in the night. He was already preparing my mother and the entire family for moving ahead in case the result of his operation turned negative. Due to his sheer determination and courage, he could come out of that life-threatening situation. As he was not able to study further due to economic problems, his only wish was to see all four of his children getting their graduation degrees and securing a good job. Today all of us are well settled and have done much more than what he had dreamed of.
I am sure he must be happy and thinking of us wherever he is. My only regret is that when his end came it was so sudden, so abrupt- heart attack and everything over. I did not get to talk to him... But then that's life. His memories are something with which he can live in his death and I as his daughter very often experiences death in life whenever the memories get flooded.