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Life without parents- How to cope?

Updated on August 5, 2009

Life without parents - How to cope?

Life without parents is like a garden without a fence around it. It's highly difficult and challenging to deal with life without our loved ones. You don't feel like doing anything except to think about them.

Let me share with you , how to cope up.

What we miss in life :

1.The Love, Affection, Secured feeling, guidance, an affectionate pat when we achieve small things.

2. The path to follow towards life .

3. A shoulder to lean on when you need it

4. A hug when you are in deep trouble.

5. Some one who will laugh when you lough and cry when you cry

6. Who love you and who understand you the way you understand yourself.

7. They won't be there when you are successful. They won't be there when you want to tell them that you have achieved something in your life.

How to cope up:

1. Separate yourself from you and observe . Divide yourself into two persons and console, convince yourself.

2. Become best friend of yourself. Guide yourself like a father and mother.

3. Have passion towards things which you like most.

4. Try to achieve your goals, targets and passionate things.

5. Go to the kids who don't have parents , join them , give them hapiness, be with them , make them to know the power of togetherness.

6. See the world as beautiful place, meet the people who are in need of you.

7. Forget your pain and externalize yourself towards beautiful world.

8. Think the power as an individual , who can move the world with kindness,love,sharing and lough.

9. When you are on street , you can be your own guide, friend, father and mother. You will be more stronger when you are guiding yourself.

How to cope up -- How I dealt with it

To add more meaning to the content I wrote , Let me share my personal experience. I lost my parents when I was 3 years old. It's always expanding yourself to the world by giving , by sharing , by loving, by understanding the pain of others .

The life was really tough, It was a struggle every minute. The funny part of it is, I was always thinking how to survive, how to come up in life, how to grow, how to stabilize. In that run, I have never thought of my parents.. sometimes, when I am alone, I use to question god.. why my life is designed like this.. Why I don't have parents... why there is no one to take me in to their arms and shower the affection which I need very badly from the time when  I was 3 years old.. But at the same time it gave me lot of strength and maturity on how to be totally emotional and how to be totally detached. I learned in the process what is called an attachment with detachment.

I was looking at the Half Glass which was empty and not concentrating on Half Glass which  is Full.Slowly started realizing half glass full and the reason to be happy and enjoying my presence and my contribution to the good.

One thing is sure, In this process, I have retained the childlike sensitivity,the emotion and I am still learning the toughness in life. Still I always feel for kids who lost their parents at early age. I am planning to start an orphanage next year for mentally challenged children and to contribute to the society as my part.

Whenever I look at the kids who are experiencing the pain of losing parents, I associate myself and I try to understand and console them.

It's always looking at the pain of others which  will reduce your emotional pain . It's always wiping tears of others would make to forget yours.

As Swami Vivekananda said, " Expansion is Life and Contraction is Death ", One should look at the world by stretching both hands open and praying the almighty for strength and confidence.








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    • profile image

      Momma Lucy 

      7 months ago

      lol. Interesting, I too lost my mother at the age of 4 and was left to be a mother to my 18th-month little brother. Unfortunately, my father was an alcoholic so seldom home. When I say Seldom, I am being kind. Long story short. All the how-to cop skills fit me to a Tee and then some. Not one person Taught me life skills. It was My God and his Guardian Angels that were with me.

      For The Darkness of the Night and Streets of Los Angeles were My Back Door and 42 Hour Playground.

      By The Way. I Grew Up Very Well. I never became a Statistic of the Unruly.

      Thank You God for giving me such a Sucky Life for it only made me Wise!

    • profile image

      Jason 

      18 months ago

      Hi everyone my name is Jason. Anyway about me. I'm 36, going on 37 in June. Anyway I haven't quite lost any of my parents yet thank God, but I know it's going to happen eventually and I'm scared crapt. Any advice to make the fear go away would be deeply appreciated

    • profile image

      Dominique 

      22 months ago

      My biological mother and Father left me at birth, they were on drugs but by the grace of God I was adopted. But my adopted Father passed when I was 1 and my adopted mother passed away when I was 15. She had early onset dementia so i lost her way before 15. Everyday It hurts my soul to think about being alone and losing parents twice. I am trying to be strong, but the internal pain sometimes is too much to bare. Throughout all of this and a abusive adopted sister, I graduated with my Masters and working on Broadway......but at 26 I still feel so alone. If anyone wants a friend, or can be a friend to me, here is my email mshill26@gmail.com.

      Cheers!

    • profile image

      Ken 

      2 years ago

      I was twelve when my mother passed, at that age I did not understand cancer and that it would take my mother from me. The day my mother passed, I believe my sister told me she died, then turned and walked away. My fathers words to me were, stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry. I myself have a great son, and it is hard for me to comprehend how a father could be so cold. From that day on, until his death two years after my moms, I think he hated me. I am now fifty six years old, and am so empty inside when it comes to the warmth of a mother, what is it like to be held by a mother, I can only emagine .actually I cant. All those years now gone, no parents to share my kids with, no birthdays, nothing. It makes me happy to see children loving and respecting their parents. Your so lucky, hug them.

    • profile image

      Arpan 

      2 years ago

      I lost my mother when I was in fifteen and I lost my father when I was twentyone. since last four months I have been crying like a hell. Everyday is sad day for me. I feel alone and neglected. I feel nobody loves and cares for me. There are two voids in my heart without them. Life has been full of struggles. I will miss my mothers love, affection and support in my life. I am having insomania. I can not sleep properly at night. I cant sleep even for 6 hours, my mind will constantly thinks about them. I pray god to give me strength to forget the pain and feeling of being alone. I pray God to feel my heart with love . I pray god to guide me in diffcult times. I pray god to be my support when I am crying. I believe god is omnipresent. Please god give me strength to feel your presence and influence in each and every second of my life. God please feel my life with etrenal bliss.

    • profile image

      Mulalo 

      2 years ago

      I lost my father at the age of eighteen and my mother died August last year(2015). ..it gets better sometimes when I'm around people but when I'm alone it's so difficult, I usually end up crying. .I'm married with 2boys and I'm only living life for them now cos I don't want them to experience the same thing..

    • profile image

      Rauna 

      2 years ago

      I feel so emotional every day of my lif There is no peace in my life!i lost both my parents at the age of 11 and from that time i still dont understand why my lofe has to be designed that way!i cry everyday and donr enjoy anything on this earth,just praying to God that he must give me more years to leave so i can watch over my doughter i dont want anything like that to happened to her!

    • profile image

      Sumadhur 

      2 years ago

      I lost my Mother when I was 6 years old My dad passed away when I was 8 years old. My sister was 2 years when we lost my mother.. My Grandparents took care of us. Life was 'not' a Cake walk since then, it throws challenges upon us every day!! in our schools, colleges work place in the society. Let us live as an Example and an encouragement for others who lost their parents in their childhood.. Let us help other kid's who doesn't have their parents. We all shall be a blessing in others life one day.. Never Give up.

    • profile image

      isaac 

      3 years ago

      Iam isaac makhura from pritoria I don't have parents my mother died when I was 4years old and my father died when I was 9years it was very tough to grow up without parents what I was always thinking was that I am going to live without them. At school I was always crying thought iam not existing in life. Today all I want is to complete school make my parents proud where they are. When I was doing any thing wrong I was blaming my parents for not being there for me but today I realised that there is no one to blame but there is someone to belief on. From that day I believed that GOD is alive and he is the one I can belive and follow.

    • profile image

      Ali Khalid 

      3 years ago

      I never saw my parents but i thank God for what he made me today,i joined the army and all is well,my parents are now at peace.Thank u God.

    • profile image

      Mithun pradhan 

      3 years ago

      I lost my parents when I was just 2 year my mother died and I lost my father at the age of 11 yr .after that I having face lots of problem and struggling for my future, o god plz say..what's my mistake. Life is incomplete without perents. Now my age is 25 year...the bedluck is stay with me always. How can I live ...

    • profile image

      Hugo Li 

      3 years ago

      Thx for your help, now I could help a friend that has no parents now

    • profile image

      Minaal khan 

      3 years ago

      I lost my father at the age of 9,now I lost my mother in the age of 28.but u no I thought I lost my every thing n just w8tng up when my life will end.I am married but don't have children but I still living my life without any happiness of my life.I don't want to talk with my brother sister husband just fed up :(

    • profile image

      james. 

      4 years ago

      I'm a 24 year old male I lose my parents at the age of 7 I and from there life start to change life was never been easy. When I was doing my grade 12 that time I was staying with my brother alone and he also ending up doing a suicide and I ending up fail my matric.I feel so bad life but I still living my life with hope One day is 0ne day God will answar my pray....thank u to other people who also sharing they stories.

    • profile image

      ABNER KOMAPE 

      6 years ago

      I AM A 23 YR OLD MALE.IVE LOST ALL MY PARENTS BEING 17 N I FELT VERY LOST,ALONE,STUPID N USELESS.I CRIED N EVEN TODAY IM STILL BECOS IT WAS A BAD SURPRISE TO ME N I WAS PLANING TO MAKE THEM PROUD OF ME.I WAS ALONE N NO ONE TO TALK TO COS MY BROTHER N SISTER WANTED NOTHING TO DO WIT ME.BUT AT LEAST MY GRNDMA TOOK CARE OF ME N SHOWED LOVE N CARE FOR ME.TO LOOSE PARENTS ITS NOT SUMTHING TO PLAY WIT.

    • profile image

      Kiran 

      7 years ago

      Thanks you very much for these tips....how to cope up without parents....i am 33 year old men... i really like this...and helped me a lot...

    • robie2 profile image

      Roberta Kyle 

      10 years ago from Central New Jersey

      It must be very hard to lose your parents so young--leaves you without a "soft place to fall" I have a friend who had really terrible parents who used to say "blood may be thicker than water, but sometimes water goes down easier" :-)He created what he called "the family of the heart" and a very loving and loyal group it was too, until his death several years ago. I like the thought that life is expansion and death is contraction. Very profound.

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