The Dance of the Butterfly - a Reminder to Not Take Life Too Seriously!
It has been written that the butterfly appears to dance as it lights on flowers and in Native American folklore, the butterfly is the symbol of change, joy, and color. The butterfly reminds us to not take things too seriously. Life is, after all, just a dance!
A while back, I had met with a tarot card reader. I've been to others but this person, instead of asking me to shuffle cards, asked me for my birth date and year. Then she turned to a page is some large hard covered book and when she looked at what it said she frowned and said "Oh my! You are entering a hard time!" So...I should have been prepared!
After time passed, I was able to reflect back and see that, indeed, I had been part of a grand dance. Was it hard? Yes! But I also felt as though it was my dance of the butterfly - I had been through a major change, but it ended with joy, and my world view felt as though it had burst into color!
And I smiled!
The Message From the Tarot Card Reader
"Oh dear!" That's what she said as she began my session. It was just a 10 minute session. My daughter took notes:
"There will be big changes starting some time in July or August. Pay extra attention. It sets the stage for a lot of new things. You will be getting spiritual. It's also a good time for travel.
Watch out around August. You will be accident prone.
You feel a great deal of guilt. Don't be too hard on yourself. Watch for one person with a bad attitude. There is a concern regarding honesty.
Some time between August and December, you will hear news of someone's passing. This person is close to you but the death does not come as a total surprise.
This is also a creative time for you. There is a book you want to write. Now is the time.
Someone close to you is on the outs. This relationship will be mended. It will reunite the family. Nice gift.
You have lots of things on your mind right now. Not sure what it is. Be careful with your diet. There are issues with your digestive track.
Your husband is a stubborn man. He deals with depression at times. He wants to move but you aren't ready. Let him go to keep the peace. There will be issues at the end of the year. He is flaky and anxious. You have worked hard. He's jealous. Walk away!
Her Words Came To Life
"You will be accident prone!"
On the last day of August, I stepped off the top step as I was coming out of a restaurant and twisted my ankle...and my ego! I laughed and shared the omen from the Tarot Card reader. I said "Well, she was right. It's still August!"
A little ice that night, though, and I was good to go so I thought, "well, that wasn't so bad."
Then in September, I slipped getting into the bathtub and twisted something in my knee. Thinking that it was similar to my previous injury, I elevated it and put some ice on it but the pain didn't go away. Instead, my knee swelled and I couldn't step on my foot by morning. A trip to the doctor indicated that I had torn the meniscus and so began a journey that took several months to resolve. Physical therapy, more x-rays, pain, pain pills, knee braces, crutches, a cortisone shot, and finally surgery! Even after the surgery, there was pain and weakness. I moved so much slower and was worried about the possibility of falling again.
I spent the rest of the winter healing but it was ok because...
I was alone. My husband had decided to spend the winter in Florida. He was tired of winter cold and snow. So injury or not, he went and I didn't stop him. She had said "Let him go!" So I did. And I was thankful. It began months of quiet reflection that turned into writing.
And so the journey began.
She said I would be taking a trip, by plane and car. She said that it was a good time to travel. She also said that it would be a spiritual time in my life.
It was just supposed to be a vacation with my daughters but it was coming at a good time. My husband had returned from Florida but I was struggling. I had honestly enjoyed his absence and now, since his return, I was trying to accept a life that I didn't like. I've never settled before. My brain was battling with my choices. This was just the right time to take a vacation.
A flight and 2 hour car ride later,I somehow found myself in a "Medicine Circle" in Sedona and we were passing a feather! I was to tell the group who I was and why I had come to be part of this group. I took the feather...and I cried!
“You will be getting spiritual.”
and this "vacation" became the hardest and best spiritual journey of my life!
It was then that I started to write a blog. When I told the guide that I had injured my knee just months earlier leaving my legs weak and my balance shot, his reply was "trust your feet" and" it's your life that's off balance". Out of anger and frustration, I found my feet again. Trying to Catch the Wind was a blog that I started that day. It became my way of screaming back. And yet he was right. My life was off balance and I realized that I was not willing to settle! This spiritual journey ultimately lead me to finding the strength to move forward but also to learning that I am stronger than I think I am, but also I can reach out for help...from the spirits around me!
She had said:
"You carry around a lot of guilt and sadness. Don't be so hard on yourself."
Well, I returned from this "vacation" with renewed strength. I decided to reenter life by changing the dance steps!
I moved away! This move changed more than my address though. I found, in the peace, that I wasn't angry anymore. The guilt was also lessened as I continued to write. There was no resentment towards my husband or my past. Instead, I felt myself looking through a whole new lens of appreciation. If this was my dance, then that meant that the others had just been dancing too. Sometimes, in life, we partner well, in the dance, and sometimes not. We, each, move to our own unique rhythm. What I came to appreciate is that it is ok to have different dances, different rhythms, and different partners. It's even ok to dance alone.
I asked for a divorce and signed a lease for an apartment.
She had said:
"Keep your power!"
Sometimes things happen and you don't notice. Other times, it seems as though all the stars must just be aligned a certain way revealing whole new streams of consciousness to you.
That's what seemed to happen to me after I made the decision to move on. I felt empowered but I didn't feel like I was making the decisions alone. In my new found peace and quiet, I found myself drawn to the possibility of Spirit Messages.
I know this sounds odd but for some reason it seemed so relevant and important now! I don't know if it presented itself right at this moment or if I was just open to it at this point in my dance. Whatever the case, I became intrigued with the animals outside my backdoor and the potential that I had happened on to this new place to live for a reason and the animals were there to reassure me with messages that I was supposed to hear. I had never lived in a place that allowed me such a window out to nature and now I found deer, raccoons, chipmunks, and birds greeting me every day. I would then read the messages of each of these beautiful creatures in Animal Spirit Guides by Steven Farmer. The messages gave me reassurance.
Reuniting With Family
She had said:
"Someone close to you is on the outs but you will mend this fence and reunite with your family."
She said it would be a nice gift!
Funny she used the word "gift" because we did reunite and it was for Christmas!
My brother, sister, and I would go for months, sometimes years, without speaking to each other. We each claimed that we just didn't have anything in common. We were busy with our own lives...you know the typical reasons. Two years earlier, my brother should have died from a massive heart attack. Still although we gathered together in the waiting room of the ICU, thinking he would surely die, he survived. And when he was released from the hospital, we went our separate ways.
In the end, it was another distant brother who played a huge role in bringing us close once again! He had no idea that his needs became the focus of renewed conversations and because of those renewed conversations we made a plan to actually celebrate a Christmas together, just the three of us. it would be nothing big or elaborate but we would try it anyway.
The result was the best gift ever!
You Will Hear News Of Someone's Passing
"You will hear news of someone passing. It will not be unexpected."
This brother, who had unwittingly played a role in bringing us all together, lived far away from us for so long that we seldom saw him. He had never taken care of himself so we knew, ultimately, that he would probably die young. His life style had put him "on the outs" with the family for many years.
But when his health started to fail, we were called. My sister and I journeyed to his home town and tried to help him cope with his diminished abilities. It was these trips, together, my sister and I, that formed a bond of friendship and love.
When he was transferred to a hospital close to our home, I knew that there had been some kind of spiritual intervention. We had been struggling with how to manage all of his needs from a distance. And then he was placed in a rehab facility that allowed us to visit many times a week. My sister and brother and I would go together. It made conversation easier. And together, we reconnected with the love that we shared for him. We were not surprised when he passed away but we were stunned by the role he ultimately played in bonding us together.
So, it has been said that there are specific life events that cause a great deal of stress. The list includes: injury or accident, divorce, moving, death of a loved one. My dance of the butterfly took me through them all.
Still, in the end I came out of it not stressed, depressed, or overwhelmed! How can that be?
I believe that I have been surrounded by loving spirits who have guided me through, but also I believe that I have found clarity in each event by setting my thoughts down in written form. I have been able to write and reread, edit and omit until I felt that it was the way I wanted my story to read. This process allowed me to focus on the parts that were ultimately most important. It allowed me to see parts of me that I didn't like and, then, best of all, with a slick "delete" feature, I found that I had the ability to change ME!
And now, deeply committed to a belief in spirit guides, I continue my dance of the butterfly; willing to change, accepting change brings challenges, but clearly knowing that I will come through each transition and simply be more colorful!