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Happiness is a Choice. Not being miserable is a Choice. You choose the life you want to live!

Updated on July 22, 2019
Pam Morris profile image

Writing is my passion. I have an undying thirst and quest in the field of writing. Some eat, drink or use drugs when stressed; I write.

If you were placed in a position to consider the kind of life you want to live, you would choose a happy one. Who wouldn’t and why not? But it will not come to you automatically, you will have to put forth the effort to make a choice to be happy.
If you were placed in a position to consider the kind of life you want to live, you would choose a happy one. Who wouldn’t and why not? But it will not come to you automatically, you will have to put forth the effort to make a choice to be happy.

What kind of life do you want to live?

If I ask various people what kind of life they want? More than likely, I will receive the answer, “I want to be happy, with a beautiful or handsome spouse, a lovely family, a big beautiful home, nice fancy car and a flourishing career.

Of course, in reality, this response is so obvious as everyone wants a happy, and comfortable life, it’s easy to want that. Only, you must perceive that the people who get what they want endure being the ones who put forth the effort to receive their desires.

The reply above in wanting a happy life, a person has to be willing to work hard and deal with the struggle for it. Only, what most people fail to see, every day will not be a rose garden. Attempting to achieve happiness comes with all sorts of pain. Yes, happiness is a choice. Except, it requires enduring the worst of times and escape the confines of life, a desire for a greater determinant which will determine whether or not you will receive happiness.

Finding happiness requires you overcoming different test and trials. It arises from mastering your obstacles. Happiness doesn’t just flow and arise out of the ground like a garden plant or flowers you water and care for. It comes from your choice to handle your issues and a decision to choose happiness. Bear in mind that a life of happiness, lifelong fulfillment and meaning have to be obtained through the division and effort of controlling all life conflicts.

Certainly, happiness comes attached with a choice you must make. You got the full control of your life on how you want to live it. It is very important for you to conceive that happiness is your choice. It doesn’t relate to surroundings and circumstances. You have the complete liberty to be happy with your choice of dealing with the situation you are living in. You cannot be happy until you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice. Not being miserable is a choice. You choose the life you want to live.

It doesn't generally make a difference the situations surrounded your life, you have still got the choice to carry on and remove yourself from a troubled life, to stop feeling helpless, very hopeless and choose to be happy, be a glad individual, whatever the situations are, the decision is yours. Happiness is an artistic choice that you craft for yourselves. It isn't something that relies upon other individuals or getting an endorsement.

It is a powerful motivation in realizing that you are in total control of our happiness. No one else but only you get to call the shots. And, although your friends and family are a part of your “happiness scheme” but they don’t have the authority to decide how to manipulate the mechanism or what that mechanism even looks like.

All things considered; life brings certain abstractions that can challenge all that we've at any point thought about being happy. There are times when it is amazingly hard to discover the delight and the light when it has a craving for everything has been flipped around and reverse.

Actually, when you're in the channels, somebody revealing to you that joy is a decision might be the exact opposite thing you need to hear. Be that as it may, it's having the option to find that flash, that light, that one thing you can clutch that will enable you to see the great up ahead-lighting the path through the dim. Also, following that light, realizing that satisfaction is a conceivable choice, can have a significant effect.

You have to know and understand that happiness is a choice

Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it. Kevyn Aucoin

Do not think that you’re born happy or unhappy. In reality, being happy in life is your choice to make. This is a unique gift comes with every human being. With that gift, you are capable of crafting the right path toward lifelong happiness. You make a lot of choices every day, like eating, clothing, loving, selecting your job. Some of your decisions make you happy, some don’t. But you make these decisions driving by, your impulse to be happy.

You can start to be happy at this very moment. It’s all about making a decision and the right one. And the decision has to be a firm one like “From now on I will work to be a happy person,” not like, “I wish to be a happy person.” On the other hand, it is not easy to stick to that decision you made to be happy as you are frequently traumatized by your surroundings and situation. If you possess a strong mind, or if you are capable enough to set your mind to be happy, you can easily ignore those outside influences constantly up beating your emotions. Happiness is your inner feelings. The surroundings and the situations, the people around you have got nothing to do with it. If you choose to be happy, nothing can stop you.

Happiness is a state of being. It’s not an emotion. Emotions change, but not the happiness, but when you are utterly spell bounded by other temporary thoughts, emotions, and feelings, you also believe that even happiness is temporary too. You are not aware of your actual state of being, existence, and reality. If you could free your mind from your temporary emotions you may have realized your true state of being to realize that you are breathing and carrying out your life is itself the biggest happiness and not money, as money is material and temporary.

What is your state of being right now? Close your eyes and feel about the universe. You will be happy as you can realize that you are vast and huge. You feel peaceful and experience enduring happiness. The happiness which you derived from other people and things are transitory and that happiness is imaginary. So it is true that happiness is a state of being, it’s not an emotion. At this very moment, you don’t need anything to be happy. Your mere existence is all that is needed.

Although, numerous psychological research suggests that everyone has a happiness set point, but in reality, there is no mathematical formula or secret recipe for being happy in life. It is a process of your mind and what works with your mind may not work with others. But there are some common rules that you can practice to follow every day and at the end of the day, you will be amazed to see the result. Some of the basic steps are:

  1. Smile Always. Smile is the biggest medicine of all. If you can smile in every situation, no matter how bad it is, you already won half the battle. A smile will remove the stress and worries from you. You will feel refreshed and you can march towards the problems with a clear head and mind to get it solved.
  2. Delete negativity from your life. We often fill our mind and soul with negativity. We become frustrated easily. After one or two attempts we just give up thinking that I don’t have any talent or ability, I can’t do this and blah blah blah. We must free ourselves from this negativity. We must build self-esteem and confidence that we can face any situation any time and we will win the battle.
  3. Be Positive. Build a regular habit of judging the glass that it is half full instead of judging it half empty. Be positive in every situation. Don’t get frustrated and exhausted. Face every situation – good or worse - with courage. Always believe that what is happening is not eternal and the bad time will be replaced by a good one eventually. Just work hard to make it faster.


Happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It is a state of mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. If your mind is at peace, but you have nothing else, you can be happy. If you have everything the world can give - pleasure, possessions, power - but lack peace of mind, you can never be happy. Dada Vaswani

  • 4. Learn to lead a balanced life. Leading a balanced life is essential. Rising early in the morning, regular exercise, eating healthy food, taking enough rest, controlling your anger and stress and worries are the key to achieve a lasting happy life.
  • 5. Learn to overcome the fear of failure. Fear of failure has often restricted us to advance with a bold decision. We just hold ourselves back and kept us stuck in a miserable situation. We must free ourselves from this fear. If we do not take the risk, we will not be able to learn and gather experience to make a better decision.
  • 6. Learn to ignore what other people are thinking about you. Believe it or not, what other people think about you is completely irrelevant for you to be happy. Don’t judge your action or your life through others eyes. If you think that you can do a certain thing which will make you happy then just do it. Ignore what people will think or say. Consult with the people only who are important in your life like your parents, siblings, and wife. If you are confident that the decision you took is the best one and that will make you happy, then convince them to support you instead of restricting you from doing that.
  • 7. Get rid of worry and stress. This is very important. To be worried and stressed all the time will reduce our self-esteem, our motivation, our confidence and we will end up in a frustrated and miserable life. Not to be worried or stressed is not easy and it will need a good amount of different practice to master over your stress. If you cannot, you will never be the happiest person you wanted to be.

The significant detail is, happiness is a choice you must be willing to experience life to choose. Believe it or not, but you are the only one who is responsible for how happy you are.

Happiness is a reality. To be happy in life you need to choose how to live your life. With regular practice, you can achieve your goals. Most important thing is to learn to ignore the influences made by the surroundings and people around you. If you always think that, your friend has a big house, a good job, and a nice car and you don’t have, then you are deliberately leading your life to misery.

But if you can ignore that fact and can rely on your small house and no car, you are the happiest person in the universe. To follow this simple yet difficult guideline has been utterly complex. For that, you need regular practice. Learn from your everyday life experience that gives you the knowledge to understand what makes you happy and then you can generate those happy moments frequently.

I’m not advising you to ignore the genuine problems we all face in life, but, find out what works better for you, find out what satisfies you, do the things that give you ultimate joy and turn it into your daily life routine.

No doubt that we all want to be happy. Then why not make happiness a daily ritual? Choose happiness and live it. In reality, Happiness is a Choice. Not being miserable is a Choice. You choose the life you want to live.

Happiness is a Choice. Not being miserable is a Choice. You choose the life you want to live

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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2016 Pam Morris

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    • Pam Morris profile imageAUTHOR

      Pam Morris 

      2 years ago from Atlanta Georgia

      Thank you so much Ladybird33, for your comment and I am happy you enjoyed reading my article

    • Ladybird33 profile image

      Ladybird33 

      2 years ago from Fabulous USA

      Enjoyed reading your article. Very insightful. Thank you for sharing

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