- Quality of Life & Wellness
Life's Special Gifts
Reminds me to Love
What are you Grateful for?
What is gratitude? Some define it as being thankful and others define it as being blessed. The dictionary defines it as the quality or feeling of being thankful or grateful. The definition of being blessed is divinely favored. What can we be thankful for? Actually, everything and anything. There are many books, poems, and ideas of thankfulness or gratitude out in the world today. What can we be thankful for today? Did you know that gratitude or thankfulness can actually help you mentally as well as physically? The book "Change your Mind; Change your Body" by Dr. Amen; is really profound in what it is saying regarding being thankful. I love the fact that it mentions, when you look in the mirror and you see things that require adjustment you go and adjust them however we don't see our minds so how do we adjust what we are thinking? The book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne mentions to remind yourself to think by asking yourself what am I thinking. There are so many negative things that are in our face everyday whether it's on TV or the radio our heads are filled with the negative things of this world and yet we don't try to adjust our minds to think wonderful thoughts, no wonder most of us are walking around depressed and sick. I like Dr. Amen when he says heal your mind you heal your body. When you think about it whatever you put into your mind your body will deliver, so if you are constantly worrying about things your body will reflect that worry as a frown, hives, or seclusion.
If you are thinking happy thoughts then all of a sudden a smile will arrive on your face without you trying to do so. Your thoughts can effect how your day is going; if you thought about missing the bus and you missed the bus then your day will reflect you missing the bus if you don't change your thoughts. The mind is a terrible thing to waste as they say. Have you ever thought about the days when we didn't have computers to obtain information or calculate things for us? When young ones were working in restaurants they didn't have computers to calculate how much to give back to the customers, we had to do that by heart. When there were only 12 channels with Gilligans Island and other movies instead of 230 channels but still nothing good on, our children and families became creative by inventing games or playing outside.
The thoughts of others are manipulative, when you look at talk shows do you ever wonder why someone would put their business all over the world and then complain why are people picking at them or judging them for their decision? Well, technically if you kept it to yourself then the only judge would be you, but since you publicly announced what you were doing you were asking for other people to respond even if they didn't agree with your decision. It's interesting to note that we are a society of people that require instant gratification and yet when we get a negative response to what we put out there we feel like its unfair. The thought is to be grateful or thankful that you have experienced each day whether good or bad because today that you woke up, you may can't change the over indulgence or crazy thing you did yesterday but you can definitely laugh at yourself and do better today. Being grateful for each day is so important because it means you are grateful to be alive.
Being grateful for the Past
Have you ever thought about things you had in the past? The idea is not to feel regret for losing them but to be thankful for having had them. The past things in your life has made you the beautiful person you are today, so be thankful that you had the privilege of owning or having that item or person in your life. Yes, there are negative things we can prescribe to almost every situation in our life however, if you didn't experience those things you would not have learned the lessons from them that they taught, be thankful. There is an interesting example of this, you buy a car that you truly love, your idea was to keep that car until the wheels fall off, however, you find yourself doing something you shouldn't have to please someone else by buying a new car, and having to trade in your old car in order to do it. I learned that pleasing others is never the way to go, in learning that lesson I also learned that losing something I appreciated having in my life caused me much sorrow. I bought my mom a new car but in order to do so I had to trade in my beautiful 2000 Toyota Echo. I was so hurt I cried for about 3 months it was like losing my best friend. This was my first car I had ever paid off and it was the first car I purchased on my own without any help from my parents. I love that car and still do. I am grateful to have had the privilege of owning such a wonderful automobile. I am grateful that I maintained it and took care of it as though it was brand new. I am grateful that my car helped me to get safely to work everyday. I am grateful to have had such a wonderful experience driving my Toyota Echo. That sounds so weird I know but somethings in life we take for granted and yet we have obtained such joy from it, if we think about the wonderful things we gained from it and are grateful then we may can have the privilege of having it again.
Also, if you think about things that were not so joyous like divorce, depending on your circumstance you may start feeling angry, I use to think that way also. However, I found that the experience of my first marriage taught me a lot of lessons, I am thankful to have had the experience of marriage. I am grateful that I learned to be stronger from it. I am grateful to have learned to speak up. I am grateful to have learned that I am worth more than that. I am grateful to have learned that I love me and that I don't need someone to love me. I am grateful to know what love is now. I am grateful to have experienced difficulty such as an abusive marriage because now I appreciate the wonderful husband I have and how true love is. I know it sound strange to have said that statement but I was able to assist so many women in their abusive relationships because I had that experience. The movie "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" by Tyler Perry, has a scene in it where the young lady that was left by her husband, she says if Charles didn't treat me the way he did I wouldn't know what a good man felt like, I agree. So, I am definitely thankful to my ex-husband for teaching me a valuable lesson on what love is and isn't. Every experience whether good or bad is a lesson in patience and a lesson in thankfulness.
Grateful to Give
Giving is better than receiving
On September 21, 2008, I had the wonderful privilege of taking my sisters and my mother to Busan, South Korea. It was an experience I could never forget. My mother has not seen her family in over 40 years. When I told her I was going to take her home to see her family, she didn't believe me. I packed our bags and told her mom be ready, she said whatever. On September 20, 2008, I had our passports and bags ready at the door and my sisters came to pick us up. My mom reluctantly got into the car and didn't say a word. I had my Emo or mothers best friend to call my mom's brother to let them know we were coming and what flight we would be on etc... it was an experience to say the least. My mom hadn't been on an airplane since 1968 so this was funny as well as exciting for her. I let her sit near the window so she could look over the mountains and all that water we were flying over. We took 2 connective flights to get to our destination, it was cumbersome but worth it.
My mom had to be in a wheel chair and this helped us get through every check point quicker and easier, I am so grateful for that. I learned that I will not wear tennis shoes or socks next time when I take an international flight and I will pack lighter. We were going there for 2 weeks, no one spoke the language except my mother. When we got to San Francisco, we didn't have time to look around we had to run to the international side to catch our plane to Seoul, South Korea, being over 300lbs and carrying 4 bags of stuff was not helpful at all but that was an experience to be thankful for because now I know that them seats in economy aren't made for people that size. As we waited to get on the plane I saw my mothers eyes light up, she was so surprised and excited. We got on the plane again she had a window seat, my sisters sat one isle over, not to mention the bathrooms on a 14 hour flight are not suited for someone that is over 300lbs it was interesting to sit on the toilet and close the door at the same time (LOL), let's just say it was an adventure.
When we arrived to Seoul we had to take a smaller plane from Seoul to Busan, next time I am going to just pay $30 and take the 3 hour train, the seat belt didn't fit around my belly, but the flight attendants were so wonderful, they took great care of my mother, they treated her like a queen. When we arrived I looked for my cousin, he wasn't hard to find, he is the only Korean I know that is 7'1" tall, my uncle was 5'6" and right behind him. My cousin saw me and cried out my name before I knew it my mom was being wheeled out by my her brother and her aunt. They cried for about 20 minutes before we got into the cars and left. My mom's cousin cooked all day for us, it was an amazing spread of food, the problem was sitting on the floor.
I didn't imagine the beautiful family I have in South Korea, we went out to eat everyday with different family members. They were so amazing. I miss them all. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity and privilege to give my mother the gift of seeing her family again. I never seen her so happy in my life. She wants so much to go back, I can't wait to give her that ability to get back to see her family again. I am so grateful that she keeps in touch with her family. I am so grateful that she knows that she is truly missed and loved. I am so grateful that she allowed me the opportunity to give her that gift. I am so grateful that I met my beautiful family in Korea. I am so grateful that soon we will be going back to see our family.