Lose Weight Fast With Anna Bimbodumbkoff
“Привет любимые” !!
In English I just say “Hello Darlings to you”. Excuse that I switch from Russian to English at particular times but my English some-times no good darlinks. I come here to Hubpages specially to address little porkers,..... oh sorry darlinks, I mean New Yorkers, all мужчины (men), женщины (women) with weight problem, to tell secrets for skinny bodies, you like?? As you know my name is Anna Karabimboff, born in Voronezh, Russia. I forced to flee my country one year ago, chased by advertising company Gilette, big company of shavers, wanting to shave my body for extra big television campaign. Afraid they take hair from my famous body, I flee Soviet Union, and I be here in Australia now, you like, ya. In Voronezh, I study weight loss in local school with big books, and upon graduation I star in my own show "Shed Fat With Anna." I now share secrets with you, get you skinny in less than year, ya you think good?
1. KNOW HOW / WHEN YOU BECAME HIPPOPOTAMUS
КАК ВЫ СТАЛИ ЖИРНЫМИ? (HOW DID YOU GET SO FAT?)
You need think how you got big bum, round belly in first place darlinks. I was born thin like peg, but in early twenties got engaged to nice man Biff Wellington, who break my heart, when he run off with gay man Dan Druff, owner of big pig-farm in my country. I reach for food, day, night, stuff in rectum, excuse English, I mean mouth spectrum, and soon I expand velly fast. Maybe gay man, gay woman, deep depression cause you to be fat too. Any-way I not really give 'shit', I mean 'care', sorry again, I say wrong words, local Australian man Hugh Jass, been teaching me English, in spare time. He say 'shit' often when I stretch arms up high exercising, when he see my underarm hair, so I gather 'shit' mean nice thing, ya. Don't worry darlinks how you get fat, ya, I just write this paragraph to look good ya?
2. NO-MORE GREASY FOOD FROM BAD SHOPS
СКАЖИТЕ НЕ СУРРОГАТНОЙ ПИЩЕ (SAY NO TO JUNK FOOD)
Not Eat List;
2. No oils( you can still buy massage oil from big shops)
3. No meat from butchers. Too much fat on chook legs.(never trust man who work in meat shop he only want your money. Buy bigger land, grow your own animals, then get man-friend to whack on head when you need.... ya)
4. Pies ( Russian pieroshki ok mate...I learn phrase from Hugh Jass, Australian drover, good yes)
5. Hamburgers, say no to greasy chip from man with red nose, red afro hair and white face. ( He try and trick and lure you with limp fry....no trust this ex-circus man no no)
6. No sugar drinks( Beer ok.... I hear Hugh Jass say "It's beaut mate".)
7. Chocolate ( Only if big box of chocolate given to you from a nice rich man. You then smile nice at man and invite inside, and show breasts...how you say in English....so sorry... show to guests)
* A TIP FOR LADIES ONLY...... HUGH HAS TOLD ME WOMEN NEED MORE SEMEN IN DIET. HUGH VERY HELPFUL MAN, I LEARN MUCH SINCE I STAY IN HIS HOUSE.
3. TAKE UP NEW HABIT TO BREAK EATING HABIT
ПОДНИМИТЕ ДРУГИЕ ПРИВЫЧКИ (TAKE UP NEW HABITS)
1. Smoking (Hugh velly thin man, he puffs on smoke 24hour day, he says smoking good to keep thin. I seen in news smoking not good on health but Hugh look velly good in nude ya )
2. Become Sex Addict ( Anna like this velly much. While вращение (rolling) between teats...I apologise..sheets darlinks it keeps mind from food and keeps thighs very slim. Woman needs to learn extortion positions...excuse me again...contortionist positions for full benefits.)
3. Become PC Addict ( make money online women weight losers and save big profits from not having time to munch munch, crunch crunch. Good sign for internet women to place on new web-site is....I demonstrate darlinks...see below for details
HOT SEXY RUSSIAN MAIL ORDER BRIDE
PHONE 094126578 ( calls are charged at $4.95 minute)
* Extra 'tit'..excuse me...'tip'...is as body shrink..women have smaller breast..no good..no darlinks. Save penny in big 'fart'...oh so sorry..'jar'... and save for EE breast 'ejaculation'...no no...'implantation'...as friendly men with big 'butts'...oh 'bucks' excuse my English....like to 'google' oh so sorry 'ogle' on dating site. Oh such big sentences I speak, excuse while I go drink water ya.....Pretty good 'tits'...oo..'tips' so far...u like??
4. HUMP IT..SO SORRY..PUMP IT..
ОСУЩЕСТВЛЕНИЕ каждый день ( GET OFF FAT BUTT EVERYDAY WORKOUT HARD)
1. Pump big weights ( up, down, get 'humping book'...so sorry..'pumping book'..you learn ok can't bother much to teach you...ok...velly good
2. Take it doggy ( buy small dog, walk on lead in streets everyday, carry poop scooper all times
3. Trampoline bouncing ( jump up down, I do myself, ya darlinks, to see what Hugh doing next door with женщина (woman) who has much plumbing problems ya)
4. Build erections ( go through out-door bush, walk much then erect 'trent'...so sorry..'tent'..velly good hobby and fat 'deduction'..oh 'reduction' exercise.)
5.Swimming ( Hugh say if women wear no costume in water it help lose more calories ya....)
6. Yoghurt..sorry Yoga ( Bend body many position..many books in shop talk Yoga many helps. Hugh ties my legs to bed posts....he says helps hold stretch position...Hugh good man)
* I run out of time now, I have to meet with film director for talks of making exercise video for market, so wonderful news darlinks. Take Anna's advice, you soon drop to small size ya..thankyou again..thankyou...I hope you like. До свидания и goodluck!!!!!
© Deb Murray 2009
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