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See Yourself--You Are Worth It

Updated on October 24, 2010
k@ri profile image

Kari spends much of her time thinking about the meaning of life and time. She has concluded love is the meaning and time doesn't exist.

True love comes from within. You cannot fake it. You cannot force it. You cannot buy it. It comes without thought, without effort, without payment.

I try to find the good in all people. In all my years, I’ve yet to find the person who had no good points. I may not like all people, but that is just my personal opinion. That does not make them all bad, any more than loving someone makes them all good. We all have our good (and our bad) traits. It is harder for me to see my own good traits than it is to see them in another. But, I can see my bad traits much clearer.

Why is it that we are so harsh on ourselves?  Why do we beat ourselves up for every little mistake, every misspoken word and every clumsy moment?  We freely forgive others for these.  Why do we not afford ourselves the same courtesy?  How can we truly love another, if we cannot first love ourselves?

Alexander Pope wrote, “The greatest magnifying glasses in the world are a man's own eyes when they look upon his own person”.  We see our own faults much clearer than we see others.  Remember, we all have faults; we all have parts of us we would like to change.  I know my faults.  I accept them, and work daily on overcoming them. 

If you tell me I am impatient, I will not get upset.  I will admit to it and tell you it is something I work on daily.  It is one of my greatest failings, causing me to be rude at times.  This causes me great distress, there for I consciously try to change my behavior.  I have to remind myself that in the big scheme of things, in the next ten years, one more minute of waiting will not change the world.  I do not waste a lot of time beating myself up over it.  It is there and until I change it, it is a part of who I am. 

My job is to always grow, and regretting and recriminations hinder growth.  Acceptance and moving forward stimulate growth.  I want always to move forward, as I find the stagnation of staying still unbearable.  I look into myself, I listen when people criticize, and I seek to learn the things I don’t like about myself, so that I can begin the work of changing them.

I guess I should touch on our physical appeal here also.  Every single person has at least one, and usually more, aspect of their physical appearance they would wish to change.  The individual focuses in on this aspect and becomes self conscious about it.  One of the hardest things in the world about accepting and loving yourself is to accept and love how you look.  In this our internal magnifying glass is relentless.  It is very difficult to realize that others do not see you as you see yourself. 

I have found that some people who look beautiful at first glance can become downright ugly once you get to know them, while others who you may never notice in that first glance become more beautiful every time you interact with them.  The people who really matter in your life will see your true beauty…the beauty of your heart, your mind and your soul.  This is your lasting beauty, and what will be seen day in and day out.  In accepting this, you will know you are beautiful and others will see it also.

The idiom, “familiarity breeds contempt” is a very true statement.  The most beautiful of outward appearances will start to fade and become familiar over time.  It is the ever growing, ever evolving inner beauty that will achieve lasting wonder in how others see us.  Just as we watch in awe the unfolding of the rose’s blossom, so shall the unfolding of our true potential captivate others.

We all make mistakes, and while we readily forgive others for their mistakes, we often spend years beating ourselves up over ours.  We must change how we look at our mistakes.  Mistakes are opportunities to learn and grow.  Look at them as such.  Accept that you made a mistake and learn how to avoid it in the future.  The only people who do not make mistakes are the ones who never learn to live. 

Life is full of mistakes, but as Denis Watley said, “Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later a collection of mistakes is what is called experience.”  Without trying, without making mistakes we will never grow, never succeed, never live to our fullest.   Elizabeth Kubler-Ross said, “There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from.”  Realize that mistakes are learning experiences.  Do not waste time regretting and beating yourself up.  Learn, live and love…and make mistakes.

All things start in the core and radiate outward.  The same is true of love.  We are the core of our love.  When you find the key to loving yourself, your love will shine around you for all to see.  We are all very alike in our insecurities, it is just the face we put to the world that is different.  Have the courage to love yourself and you will have the courage to love others.  As a flame burns brightest in the center, so must our love.  An amazing outcome of loving yourself is that others will be drawn to you.  Your flame will burn brighter, and as moths are drawn to the light, so are humans.

Acceptance and love for yourself will translate itself into acceptance and love of others.  It will not be forced, it will not be fake and it will never be for sale.  This love will be true and effortless.  In this way we become a blessing to all of those around us.  Love is an unstoppable energy that burns brightest in the core and radiates out illuminating other’s lives.  Let your love shine.


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    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      9 years ago from Ohio

      wavegirl22, Thank you! It is so hard for us, at times, to understand that we are deserving of love. But we are! We all need a reminder of this at times. :D

      Elham, You have made my day! If I can help one person in life, I can consider myself a success, for life is all about helping each other. Love back!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Realy fantabolus it saved my life and changed my views toward me and i want to say that it is great

      LOVe YOu

    • wavegirl22 profile image


      9 years ago from New York, NY

      K@ri. what a blessing you are. This is a beautiful inspiring hub.. one I will read again and again. It is a must read for teenager girls who seem to have so much trouble understanding who they are and you have plotted a great road map for them!

      Thanks for sharing. .

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      9 years ago from Ohio

      Madison, Thanks! It's a truth we all need to be reminded of from time to time...myself included. :D

    • Madison22 profile image


      9 years ago from NYC

      What a lovely hub, so much truth to it. Thank you for sharing it.

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      dotaxia, Thanks! Yes, we all make mistakes, and in the process become better for them.

      CynthiaF61, I'm glad it was there for you! I often write about what I need to remind myself of. Hugs!

    • CynthiaF61 profile image


      10 years ago from Tennessee

      Thanks for sharing this! I needed to read it today!

    • dotaxia profile image


      10 years ago from Phillipines

      An interesting Hub you got there. Man is a Man. A man is a pilgrim and we all have mistakes, problems in order to become a better person in life. :)

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      LOL, Hands off! Thanks and I still consider us friends! :D

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Health Tip, We are very happy, thanks! You know I love you, so don't be a stranger. :D

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      OK badco, New picture is up...also on Facebook...and in the forums. BTW...the other was just over 10 years ago, LOL :P

      Now, get on with your life. :D

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Misha, I work on it daily myself! Luv ya!

      Jess, Glad to hear it! We should all feel this way.

      Thanks ethel, Good to see you! It's much easier to say than to do... :D

      crazybeanrider, I agree, it takes constant conscious thought to change our self deprecation. Life is a continuous journey for me. :D

    • crazybeanrider profile image

      Boo McCourt 

      10 years ago from Washington MI

      What a generous hub! if only we could see in ourselves what we see in others. Life would be so much better. It takes a huge amount of mindfulness to change our self deprecation.

      Very well written hub

    • ethel smith profile image

      Ethel Smith 

      10 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull

      Plenty of home truths here. You also express the way we should try and live, so well.

    • Jess Killmenow profile image

      Jess Killmenow 

      10 years ago from Nowheresville, Eastern United States

      I love me. I love me soooo much. Thank you, K@ri

    • Misha profile image


      10 years ago from DC Area

      That's probably the hardest thing to learn. But I am working on it :)

      Thanks K@ri, love and light :)

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      storytellersrus, I try to remember all the mistakes, misspoken words and clumsy moments I have had and then try to give them the benefit of the doubt. That doesn't mean I always succeed. I'm sure I'm not a better a person than you, you are a wonderful person! :D

    • Storytellersrus profile image


      10 years ago from Stepping past clutter

      Okay, you are more generous than I. I do not easily forgive others for "every little mistake, every misspoken word and every clumsy moment." Are you kidding me? I OBSESS over these things, wondering what this person really meant, whether what they said is actually true, etc., lol. You are a better person than I.

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      skye2day, Thank you so much! I believe that the more we accept and love ourselves, the more love and acceptance we can show to others. Hugs back :D

    • skye2day profile image


      10 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      This is a beautiful hub. So true. Words are in the power of the tongue. God love us so much. He forgives our wrongs. He created us in our mothers womb for purpose and plan. This is why we are asked to stay in his word. It deepens our faith. When we are weak he is strong. Thank you for visiting my hub and your touching compliment. Bod speaks through you my friend K@ri, You rock girl.

      Be in touch. Hugs

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks to all and I'd like to apologize for taking so long to answer...moving has been very time-consuming, but I should be around more often now. :D

      emohealer, I so agree that we often overlook the importance of loving ourselves. Our light reflects on all we touch.

      psychicdog, Thanks, and thanks for the great quote! I love it. :D

      ralwus, Thanks for the words of encouragement! Much easier to say than do...but I keep trying.

      wannabwestern, Thank you for reading! :D

      Thanks froggyfish, There are so many whys in life...and so few answers. Loving ourselves is one way of finding truth, in my opinion.

      Zsuzsy, Thank you!

    • Zsuzsy Bee profile image

      Zsuzsy Bee 

      10 years ago from Ontario/Canada

      K@ri, truer words will never be said that's for sure.

      great hub

      regards Zsuzsy

    • frogyfish profile image


      10 years ago from Central United States of America

      A lot of 'Whys; and a lot of truth. Thanks for encouraging words that come through...

    • wannabwestern profile image

      Carolyn Augustine 

      10 years ago from Iowa

      This is a hub with a truly beautiful message. Thank you!

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      Little Miss Nit-pik praying for patience, "but hurry" she asks. Love is blind, marriage opens the eye! Quit being so hard on yerself girl. Throw away the magnifying glass and just be yerself. Look ahead and not behind and make not those mistakes of yore. I'm so oldt now, I can't remember mine. hehe

    • profile image 

      10 years ago

      How true! thanks k@ri

      "We dont see things as they are, we see them as we are" - Anais Nin

    • emohealer profile image

      Sioux Ramos 

      10 years ago from South Carolina

      Awesome pictures and awesome writing! I say let your light shine and you further define by identifying our love as our light....This is GREAT!!! It is a commandment to love ourselves and as so many go through they read the first part to love our neighbors and fail to see the second half that says to do so we love ourselves... because our love for them is but a reflection of our internal love light.....Shine on Kari!!!

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Jill, Thank you for this! We all love ourselves to differing degrees, but we must love ourselves before we can love another. I have learned this very personally lately. And it is wonderful. :D

      Carson Creek, Yes, one of the hardest things in life is to not beat ourselves up for our mistakes. It is very hard to learn that they help us grow, and not hinder our growth. Thank you!

      Pacal, Thank you so much! Don't beat yourself up, just remember that every mistake means we grow. And you, also, are beautiful! :D

    • profile image

      Pacal Votan 

      10 years ago

      k@ri - this is a wonderful hub. And so true! I can relate whole-heartedly.

      I beat myself up for every single mistake I make. :) lol I think, I should either change or accept this.

      I don't know how much you love yourself, but to me you are beautiful, and no matter what, I will always love you.

    • Carson Creek profile image

      Carson Creek 

      10 years ago

      K@ri, Well done and insightful. You're view of mistakes is on the money! They're not a problem but rather an opportunity to grow, to learn and finally improve.

    • jill of alltrades profile image

      jill of alltrades 

      10 years ago from Philippines

      This is a very beautiful hub. So true!

      Before you can even say "I love you" you must first be able to say "I".

      Thank you for sharing K@ri.

      By the way, I love the photos you used.

      God bless!

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Cabin Girl, I am so happy to have you back! I just read your latest poem and I love it. :D I have missed having you around!

      I am sorry if I disappoint you. This is not my home where I let myself be seen. I love many of our crew here, but many I do not know. I am not perfect. I am sorry if I misled you to think I can do all the things I write of. I write of what I want...not always of what I am. I try always to become grow, to learn, to live and to love. This is life to me. :D

      Wesleycox, I so understand...I pick myself to pieces all the time...what I've done, where I've been, why I think as I do...but we need to remember, great deeds and great love lead to great mistakes. The main thing is to learn and not to repeat these over time. We are all just wanderers on this road...not one of us have a map. We make wrong turns, but the best thing is to find our way back to the way we want to follow. Thank you so much. :D

      ocbill, Thank you. I really think we all need to re-evaluate our worth in this world. I feel we need to know that we are of value...not for what we have, but for what we are. Society tries to mislead us...but we need to remake society into what we want. :D

    • ocbill profile image


      10 years ago from hopefully somewhere peaceful and nice

      good positive message. society needs more of this. Thanks

    • wesleycox profile image


      10 years ago from Back in Texas, at least until August 2012

      I love the message of this hub K@ri, love yourself for who and what you are. I often times find myself picking myself to pieces about what I've done, and what I think, and what I say to others. Regret comes to mind and an overly critical sense of self sometimes overwhelmes the pride of any man. (When I say man I mean human). I've made so many mistakes in my life and wish with all my strength and heart that I could go back and change it. Thank you for this hub.

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Linda, Nope, it's not just you...and I'm glad to know you're here also. Thanks! :D

      erin, This is what I strive for every day. To have love and to give love is the greatest gift we receive from life. Thank you! :D

    • erin boote profile image

      erin boote 

      10 years ago from Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania

      Boy, this hub couldn't have been read at a better time, personally speaking. I found your words, and the words that you cited in your hub to be wonderful advice. You captured the very essence of what we should all strive for, to love ourselves, and then be free to give that love to others, and accept their love in return. This was an exceptional hub. awful lot for writing it. Sometimes we need to all be reminded of just how special and unique each of us truly are.

    • profile image

      Linda Myshrall 

      10 years ago

      Soooooooo. It's not just me! Loved this, especially since I now know of at least one other human being who wonders about and processes this kind of thing. One of the nice things about being one of Dennis Watley's, uh-hum, 'experienced folk' is that we have a lot of life-lessons under the belt. The larger the portfolio of things to draw from and juxtapose tends to put things into better perspective. The small stuff is just that. Thanks Kari, a great job as usual.

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      Thanks Marie, Growing is what makes living worthwhile. As long as we continue to grow and allow ourselves the freedom to learn from our mistakes, we will evolve. :D

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      shamel, It can be real, and we need to keep it this way. It's up to us all. :D

    • VioletSun profile image


      10 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      K@ari: I also don't like stagnation; we need to grow, allow movement to take place, to think outside of the box, to question our beliefs from time to time, and see what works and no longer works, its all part of our evolution. As usual, keep doing what you are doing, you uplifted me today!

      Thank you for the beautiful fan mail you left me a week or so ago; it made me grateful to have connected to you, and hubbers like you. :)

      The kitty looking in the mirror and seeing a majestic lion is adorable. LOL.

    • shamelabboush profile image


      10 years ago

      All I can say is that this is an uplifing hub! We need this in our fast-paced live, when everybody is very busy... Humans are forgetting in time those emotions and I am afraid that the love you're talking about will become extinct! it's actually a utopic kind of love, it is fantastic if it gets real... Thanks for the love K@ri.....

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      jay, I'm glad you liked it, and glad I could be an inspiration. :D

      Cris, Thank you very much! :D

    • drcrischasse profile image

      Cristopher Chasse 

      10 years ago from Boston

      Great Great Hub,



    • jayb23 profile image


      10 years ago from India

      Wow, Awesome hub, so uplifting and motivating. Really needed that. Great work kari. Keep inspiring us. Cheers

    • k@ri profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari Poulsen 

      10 years ago from Ohio

      lxxy, Learning, living and loving...only these will keep the insanity at bay. Love You, Kari

    • lxxy profile image


      10 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

      "just as we watch in awe the unfolding of the rose’s blossom, so shall the unfolding of our true potential captivate others.


      You have such beautiful words. =) Never stop sharing them with us!

      I love the message of this piece...if you're not making mistakes, you're not learning.

      After all, the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect to see different results. ;)

      And as always...captivating pictures. =)




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