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Love is Good and then you lose it. All by yourself. How to not lose it!!

Updated on November 8, 2013

I did not let that love slip away. She is gone but we still love each other. That is what a son does for his mother.

Beauty Queen and Matriarch and Chair woman of a big Hospital. She would not let me stop loving her.
Beauty Queen and Matriarch and Chair woman of a big Hospital. She would not let me stop loving her. | Source

Whoever reads this has already failed.

You have already lost love. What the heck is wrong with you. Love is to be nourished and cherished. But you let love slip away.

Take my point. Admit it. He/She is gone and it is your fault. Well that just suckaroos. Are you a loser? Just plain stupid? Or so Ego driven you do not get love yet.

Easy there. I am not talking about Christian or Agape love. I am talking about love! Let us define that:

Morning, noon, evening and night you thought about her (I will use just one gender for ease)

Fishing, working, driving and fighting you thought about her.

You never hurt her in any way except that once.

You bragged about her to friends and family.

And yet you let her slip away. You are an idiot.

After I failed a few times she would introduce me to another love.

Oh no!! not like that. What she taught me made me keep going. That love that just reminds you that you too are good and worthy of love. Not a word said about it but a touch and a soft word of confidence.

Ya see when you lost your job and your house or rent is in arrears and your car broke down and your son has the flu bad. You do not hang your head. You straighten it up and ask your neighbor lady if you could do some work. She says, she ain't got no money. And you say how about some flowers for my wife. And you work hard. And the neighbor lady gives you lemonade and instructs you to pick the whole lemon tree. Then she gives you half the load and you run out to sell it and she brings the flowers and medicine your house.

Love begets love. And the boy gets better and the other neighbor lady has work. So you put on your best work clothes and you say sir and you say mam. And by the end of the day you are tired but food is on the table the flowers still blossom.

And that is love.

Just a little song I sing to all my children and my wife.

I hope that previous writing made you get precious

I do not have those problems. I am blessed with food, work and enough to keep my car running. So should today I just blow off the flowers? I think not. I do not want to lose my love. I do not want another to take my love. I want her to know that I love her so.

Aw shucks for me it is easy. I grow roses. And I am primary caregiver with her son. I am a great house and laundry cleaner. And I can do a foot message like nobodies business.

But for us that is expected. So I must surprise to keep the flames alive. Hmmmm!

That is the nature of love. Love needs that kindling and stoking. I will find what to do. For I love her so.

The passion in this song -- reminds us. What does love got to do with getting flowers?

Now let me end this with a crossover

Do you dance in the morning? Do you brush your teeth to a rhythm? Do you wake up and look at Mr. Sun and say "bring it on baby". Do you cry when life is good? Do you cry when life is bad?

Now I am going to tell you folks to get up and stretch from side to side and from front to back, run in place for 3 minutes. Feel it. Feel something.

Now you are ready to hear me. Feel it Feel it Feel it Feel it. Love yourself for you are beautiful. Love me for I asked you to.

Now go to your lover and love her. You got the juice now open the flood gate and love like it is all you need or got.

I am talking love.

Think about yourself.

What does it take to make you feel better, more money, booze, sports or things? I can promise anyone who reads this that they will feel better by showing special love to someone they love. Maybe it is spiritual, maybe metaphysical, or maybe psychological. I do not care. I love you and want you to be loved like I am.

Are you perfect in love?

Have you lost someone you love?

See results

Do not be bullheaded.

Source

Our approaches differ.

Many folks just do not show love like others. That kind of love takes a loving relationship. I see too many people counsel a sad spouse who want more love. And yet the other spouse shows the same love they always have.

You can see the problem. What right does one spouse have to demand the change. And on the other hand what is wrong with the spouse who does not mix it up and keep excitement in the relationship?

Oh there are so many answers and so many more questions. But there are some things that we know to be true. People grow differently in different spurts and at different times. I am sorry to say that most couples that remain together for say 40 years are dull and do not grow. Normally at least one will have had a job almost that same amount of time. Hurray for them, I suppose.

Relationships are not fantastic simply for the fact of remaining in one. I know that is going to cause me a lot of grief from folks because many hold on to the relationship just because that is what they do. I read some great facts about longevity of marriage. Yes that was what the subject was "longevity of marriage". In my mind I read it because it was about an institution and not about people. Other wise it would have been "longevity of love".

Now here is the kicker. I believe in one marriage for eternity. I really do. And that is why I write articles like this one. Marriage longevity should never be celebrated, it should only be a by-product of a love relationship. Oh I am all for parties and anniversaries, but I think they should mark the day of love. Not the date of a ceremony.

Here is a fun one. Alcoholics celebrate "sober birthdays". How long they have been sober. I get it and it is a great tradition as the results show. Here is the problem. I have met drunk people who acted soberly. And I have met absolute non-drinkers who act intoxicated with power and envy and wealth. I am not saying, I am just saying -- think about it.

So back to a marriage. I think people need to grow and even grow apart. But that should just strengthen the relationship --- like having an affair with your wife.

Let us back up to the title.

Love is Good. Love requires a whole lot of good. I say God is Love. Do I say Good is Love? Pretty close.

If you are doing good and your "other" is doing good. And you have set up a relationship and life together. Well guess what -- your relationship will be good.

Now the hard part. You are doing good, but being human the other is not. Try to step back and look at life as scales. They will balance out unless filled with deceit and not a true weight. That probably will not work.

Some folks like to remark -- the fights are horrible but making up is fantastic. Well that is true. If you can make up. Also people say that some words scar too deeply to put the genie back in the bottle. Bullpucky. That is not the degree of the words but the ability of the injured to heal. Two folks stabbed the same. One recovers and one does not. Probably the health and the attitude determine which is which. Same with love.

Now go out and love.

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    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      We are climbing on tables and making spacecraft from legos and just about ready to play big water outside.

      Sometimes -- I forget the perspective of a child and I am lost. Joyous and Free. Is all I can be. I am going to play hard with my boy tonight!!! Yahoo.

    • Lastheart profile image

      Maria Magdalena Ruiz O'Farrill 

      5 years ago from Borikén the great land of the valiant and noble Lord

      We, the people, just make things so complicated. Where there is love, there is life. Where there is life, there is freedom, and from there we have hope for a new generation. We need to keep spreading the seed. Billy knows that "Miracles exist".

      oh by the way nice hub.

    • Ericdierker profile imageAUTHOR

      Eric Dierker 

      5 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      I cry. Not for you Billy or you my lovely MsDora and certainly not for my life of abundance but for our children that we did not teach as well as our parents, or grandparents taught us. How to love is not innate. I just hugged my boy and told him -- you are loved. Damn this world!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      5 years ago from The Caribbean

      Lucky you! The more you share love, the more you get. You're doing great!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      A universal message....it's the only thing that truly matters in life my friend, and you nailed it.

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