The Doctor Said, You are going to have this baby, and frankly, it ain't gonna survive!!!
She wasn't supposed to survive
Everything we do our kids see and they learn. They learn how to handle different situations by the way that we handle them. These are my kids. Through the years I have had hard times, good times and close to death times. Let me tell you a little about my oldest.
I woke up in the middle of the night feeling my stomach tightening. "I can't be in labor, it's too soon" I wait for about an hour. I finally call my doctor because my stomach kept tightening. Not good. I was only 7 months pregnant. The doctor told me to get in there. Well when I finally got there they hooked me up to the non-stress machine to monitor baby and me. Sure enough I had contractions. They hurried to do a sonogram. First I have two of the medical staff on either side of me looking at the monitor. One leaves the room. He brought two more doctors in the room that were looking at the monitor. "look , her intestines are outside of her"
Like I wasn't even in the room. First off, I knew she was a girl now. I didn't know before.My baby's intestines were outside of her!! My doctor came to my bedside and with out a caressing thought "Your gonna have this baby tonight and frankly I do not think it's gonna live"
It's funny I remember her face, her blonde hair pulled back and even her age , she looked like she was in her late 30's , wonder where she is these days? My head started spinning. This is not the way my first child was to come into this world. She may die. Likely hood of her dying was 80/20 according to my doctor.Now back then, 21 years ago, science didn't really come that far when it came to this sort of thing. First thing I did, when they would give me the phone is call my father in New Jersey. I was in PA. I called him and told him what was happening to me and he said he was coming as fast as he could. He left that night to come to my side.
Anyway, the staff put me on a gurney and rolled me out to an ambulance and transferred me to York County Hospital in Pennsylvania. There I was put into this room and then before I knew it about fifteen people were all around me. There were monitors everywhere I looked up and people gathered speaking quietly, as not to disturb me. Before I knew it they were putting me through all kinds of tests. As I recall they had to take an amniotic test to see if babies lungs were developed. Luckily or god was watching, they were taking her out of me that night.
I was not scared. I always knew God was with me and he was watching me. I think I depended on that one consoling thought my whole life. that is why I'm so carefree all the time. I know God has my back, just sometimes it takes someone to remind me. I called my mother, who in turn called 3 different churches and asked them to pray for me and the baby. She wasn't supposed to live. They gave me a c-section that night. I was given an epidural. I was awake when they took her out of me. They showed her to me for a split second. I couldnt hold her because they had to take her right away to be operated on. They wheeled me back to the my room and transferred me onto a bed. I was drifting in and out of sleep. At one point during the night, I remember my mother bringing me a cup of apple juice with a straw. I could barely lift my head , I was exhausted. The nurse came in to check my Blood pressure and when she did, she brought me a poloroid shot of Danielle, I'll never forget it. I wish I had it, but the only way I got these pictures back in the day is when I called the hospital and thanked them and it so happens that one of the nurses who was there that night, found these pictures and she sent them to me.15 years after it happened!!! I just think back to that one photo of her face and her eyes were so big!!! They had an oxygen mask on her and her little arm was taped to a board which had an intervenious needle in it bringing precious fluids to her. She was on a radiant bed which was holding her heat. They actually had her intestines suspended above her wrapped in special plastic to keep them moist. I could not hold her. I would sit by her bedside for hours, reading to her, holding her hand and willing her to live. I could not breast feed because I couldnt hold her, but the doctor told me that my breast milk would give her more strength and was better for her than formula, so I would go into the nursery that they had and pump my milk. I remember this one day I was in there pumping my milk, there was this lady there who had recently given birth to triplets. The babies were in radiant beds just being monitored because they weighed five pounds. She was breast feeding one of them. When I came in she smiled at me. I remember her having black hair and it was cut neatly and framed her face. She came up to me with one of her little boys and said to me, "You need to hold a baby" and before I could say anything at all, she placed her baby in my arms. I still remember looking down at that little black head. Thinking how beautiful he was, but knowing he was not mine. It was a nice gesture on her part, but still didn't fill the void I felt.
It was ten whole days that went by, I was home four of them by now, but at the hospital at 6am and left everynight at 11pm It came time to hold her. I was so nervous , I had to be sitting in the rocking chair and the nurse put her in my arms; It was radiant joy that came to my face. She survived against all odds. The doctors said she wouldn't but there she was in my arms looking up at me. I was in love with her when I was pregnant with her, and prayed for her fervently when her life was in danger and I was even more in love with her now. She had survived. She is a survivor. She is 21 now. God says when we go, not man. I could tell you more but at a later date. It's never over until that last bell rings.