How to Deal With Unnecessary Thoughts
Hold a small weight for a second,does it hurt ? Probably not much.Hold it for a few more seconds.Okay,it isn't as easy before.But when it last more than a minute or so,it hurts so badly.Exactly this is how we transform tiny real life hassles in to potential stressors,by denying to put it down.
To begin with,life is all about change.Everyday each of us faces some kind of challenges,big or small. Just deciding what to wear at work can be a challenge for some people,where as others find dealing with people the most challenging part of the day.Each day necessitates some sort of decision to be made,work to be done and challenges to overcome. Sometimes there are actual threat to well being like major life changes,catastrophes,death of the loved one,fight with spouse and loss of job,to name a few .But in real the bulk of the stress we daily face actually comes from little frustration,ignorance,delays,minor disagreement or even an unusual glance from the part of someone. It seem like it isn't a big deal at first,but it is difficult to put down once we confiscate it .So instead of mastering how to diminish stressors its always better to disregard before we put it over our head or simply " how to care less"
Make a Boundary
Realize when something is causing a problem.Imagine having fun chats with friends and suddenly you realize that most of them aren't actually listening to you.It is okay to feel a little embarrassed at the moment,at the same time quiet easy to let it go.Here you also have an another choice to extrapolate what was just happened and conclude as if you are not funny enough,smart enough or i am always being ignored and socially awkward.Also you can spend the whole night thinking about what was happened. Throwing a rock into a pond will always ended up having a big splash and same time the rock draws down; what is left behind are all the ripples that came from the impact of the splash.Similarly hassles are like those ripples but arise from distress. So it is important and one has the right to provide a filter in between all of these hassles.Because
- Its okay to feel sad, sometimes even without reasons
- Its okay if others get angry and disregard your opinion
- Its not your job to choose others interests,feelings over yours
- You don't need permission for being who you're
- Others have every right to disagree with you or not like you
- Its okay to say 'no'
- You are enough
When you feel yourself becoming angry,resentful,or exhausted,pay attention to where you haven't set a healthy boundary— Crystal Andrus
It is extremely difficult not to care when something makes you frustrated,losing your patience and makes you feel your opinion or efforts aren't appreciated.There are situations while having a discussion with someone,suddenly something is said that cause anger to rise inside you and ended up causing the situation goes out of control.Some of us lose temper even in minor arguments. There is a point where you express yourself aggressively or disrespectfully tends to only makes you lose your credibility and its some times makes you looks like a fool. There is a saying that the first one to get angry in an argument loses, anyway there are fewer chance that losing temper actually benefits you .Here a problem that could be solved in a minute is likely to remain unsolved for years.Does all this means to bottle up your emotions and move on? Definitely not.It is perfectly fine until you feel there is something you need to work on.It doesn't work simply taking a deep breath or it isn't easy to mater 'think before you speak' for the first time .It requires consistent practicing and one should apply on a daily basis.
Remind Yourself:Nothing Lasts Forever
Look back and ask yourself how often where you stressed out thinking about your grades,being alone, feeling guilty ,moving to a new school,losing friends,having to give speeches in front of colleagues,injuries and responsibilities and freak you out? Anyways now it seems like it does not worth the efforts for most of us. In fact nothing lasts forever,even if its the darkest phase of our life is temporary.What matters the most is you and your mental health.You have overcome many obstacles so can the next.
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise again— Victor Hugo
Choose the Right Environment
It is a trend these days to let people know about how much fun you are having,where you are hanging out,what you are wearing or even eating.It is nothing but the growing influence of social media in peoples life.It is easy to get distracted ,comparing your self with others and can build a negative self schema.Once cannot stay calm in an environment where someone questions your worthiness or makes you feel like you are not enough.So its important to choose the environment precise.
Avoid All or Noting Approach
'' I wants to be the best painter ever or nothing''.This is exactly all or nothing approach or thinking in extremes.It is a belief that if you are not perfect at something its not worth the effort.People tends to categorize as they are either losers or winners.It is an important factor why people fails or quit what they intended to do.Every successful personalities,great entrepreneur starts from nothing.You cannot be perfect till the first day it self.Good things take time.Each and every day while we working to make a dream come true,we are successful.Its not always the outcomes that mater's.