Memorable Moments of "Funny"
Here’s a break in my self-motivation, positive attitude articles! I was asked by my boyfriend to write something funny! I was thinking that it’s actually kind of sad when I have to think about whether I am able to write something funny! Ahhh, the challenges in life!
I was going to write about memories from my growing up years and some things that have happened to me as an adult that were outrageously funny, but I think the adult happenings were actually funnier than anything that ever happened to me as a child, so here goes:
I think one of the funniest things that ever happened to me took place in a movie theater. It was about three years ago and my boyfriend, Steve, and I decided to see a movie in a theater while we were out-of-town. I was walking ahead of him after we got our tickets. I had to open a wooden door in order to get down the aisle to find a seat. I proceeded to walk forward, not being able to see where I was going because the movie had started and it was dark. It was so dark in fact, that I expected the aisle to be directly in front of me, instead of realizing I needed to turn to the right before walking down the “real” aisle. Needless to say, in the pitch blackness of the entryway, I took three steps and walked smack dab into a wall that was covered in black carpet-like material! I walked so fast into that wall, I felt my tiny nose and my toes hit the surface at the same time!
Steve had already walked ahead of me at that point and he spun around, laughing his head off because I had such a look of shock on my face and I was laughing so hard, he couldn’t help himself! I just had it in my head that the aisle was straight in front of me and the little floor lights would show up soon so I just kept walking! I was SO thankful nobody was behind us to see me do that, but it was so funny and such a surprise that I literally couldn’t stop laughing for almost forty-five minutes! I will never forget that, even if I live to be 103!
The second funniest thing that ever happened to me was a classic “” moment! It was back in about 1986 when my sons were four and three-years-old. I decided to take them bowling for the first time in their lives. Since they were so young, the bowling alley attendant had put bumpers in the alleys so that my boys wouldn’t have any “gutter balls” in their attempts to get a strike! Ummm, excuse me? They were three and four, who would get a strike at that age, seriously?!!! Lucille Ball
Anyway, we were taking turns throwing the ball and it was back to my oldest son for his turn. He walked his short little legs up to the black line and had that small, blue ball in his hands, carefully bending down to throw it as hard as he could. All of sudden, its slow-motion twirl caused it to head towards the right, angling to hit the bumper. In my “rescuing Mom” mode, I quickly leapt to the fore, leaned forward to grab the ball in an attempt to give him a chance to try again, and just as quickly landed flat on my tummy, sliding down the alley like a greased pig! Screaming in shock with the ball in my tight little grip, the attendant ran over to me, grabbed my ankles and pulled me back to safety amidst howls of laughter from the other fifty bowlers there that night! My tiny, sweet, innocent kids were even laughing their heads off! Oh, my word! Talk about never forgetting an event!
I used to be involved with a tremendous self-development seminar that literally changed my life during the four years I attended the trainings and worked as a volunteer staff person. During one of the trainings, I had gone with my new friends to lunch for our ninety-minute break and was on my way back to the seminar when I tripped and fell in front of about ten people.
I stood up, brushed my knees off and saw that that my jeans had ripped and both knees were bleeding. I got myself to the restroom where I proceeded to wipe up the blood as best I could with some wet paper towels. All of a sudden, I heard the theme song start to play that signaled our need to be in our chairs and ready to begin at the end of the final note of the song. I panicked. I did not want to be the last person in there, in front of about sixty-two other sets of eyes, showcasing my limping, ripped pants and scuffed-up knees. So much for that!
I half-hopped, half-limped my way through the lobby, opening the big, wooden double doors just about ten notes from the end of the song. Everyone else had been seated and therefore, stared me down, as my cheeks flushed bright red. I knew I also had to get my purse inside the closet and still get to my seat within nine more notes! A light bulb magically appeared above my head as I zipped the purse closed, limping closer to my seat as I did. At that point, I was about fifteen feet diagonally in front of the closet door and about seven feet from my chair. I swung my arm behind me, rolled my purse on the floor and watched as its square shape rolled as smooth as a bowling ball all the way over to the targeted door and landed bottom-down in the corner of the closet! At the very same moment, I sat my hiney in the chair and heard the last note fade away to what I thought would be silence. To my surprise, the last note finished and immediately, the room broke out into a roaring round of applause at my once-in-a-lifetime feat! I couldn’t have done that a second time if I had tried!!!
Ok, I think that’s enough self-effacing humor for now, friends! I just wanted to put a little variety in the middle of all my other articles. And to think, I used to want to be a stand-up comedienne! Never gonna happen! My ex-husband told me the only thing funny about me was my face! What does he know?