- Death & Loss of Life
Memories of my mom
Happy Mother's Day!
A son's memory of his mom
I have been very introspective these days as I get older and hopefully wiser. I would say that all my success and happy moments in life are attributed to my upbringing. I was blessed with wonderful parents who taught me many things and instilled in me good moral values and a desire to bring out my best in all that I do.
I am very grateful to my mom and dad and feel blessed to have felt loved, nurtured and always safe under their watchful eyes throughout my childhood and into my adulthood. There are many memories that stay with me and when I relive them I feel like that little boy who would sit at the dining room table with my mom by my side helping me do my homework. My mother had the patience of a saint and she always made sacrifices and put my sisters and I front and center.
As I think back to the days of my childhood I realize how much of an influence my parents had on me and I realize that the memories of years gone by are long lasting and I truly cherish them as they come back to me at certain moments of my life. We all have to grow up and get older and as we do we feel the changes that happen naturally in our life that are inevitable and seemingly beyond our control.
I would say that the proudest moment of my life was when I graduated high school and then college. I remember how happy my parents were of my accomplishments and how they supported me both emotionally and financially. I was always seeking my mom's advice as an adolescent and when I felt shy or unsure she would be there to encourage me and help me smile and not feel so unsure anymore.
When I had a crush on a girl and felt unable to express my feelings or open up my mom would sit with me and tell me that it was ok to feel that way and she would always be there for me and listen as I would talk on and on about this girl I had on my mind who didn't even know I existed. It was comical but my mom knew how I felt and she would encourage me to just be myself and would always say I would know when I met the "right girl". I always felt better after our conversations and she helped me to believe in myself.
When I think of my mom I think of how beautiful she was and of the courage and compassion she lived her life with. She was very strong willed and had a sense of self confidence in all that she did. She was very loyal to dad and was a very devoted mother. She also had a side to her that was vulnerable and sadly she had succumbed to the pressures and had suffered emotionally where she required hospitalization. We loved mom very much and wanted to help her through these times. Dad was her biggest supporter and was always by her side through the good times and the bad times. He was very loyal to mom and would always be there for her during these difficult times.
I try to suppress these sad days and think of the happy times. My mother was a very loyal Brooklyn Dodger fan but her heart was broken when they left for LA. When the Mets came to town she became a very loyal fan and her enthusiasm was contagious as it rubbed off on me as I also became a loyal Met fan. I have many fond memories of watching Met games and my earliest recollections of the Mets was the Miracle season of 1969. This was a dream come true and to this day I still have vivid memories of watching the world series games with my mom when the Mets beat the Orioles in 5 games. I remember when we celebrated their victories and Game 5 when Cleon Jones caught Davey Johnson's flyball to win the world series. It was simply Amazing and I remember mom giving me a great big hug.
These are the memories I cherish as I think of my mom. I loved baseball and I enjoyed my youth playing in little league and I enjoyed playing when my parents came to see me. I always wanted to do my best and I played inspired and I remember making a great catch of a flyball and doubling up the runner on second base. It was a highlight for me and I remember mom and dad cheering which brought a smile to my face.
One of the saddest days of my life was when I learned my mom had died. I remember when I would visit her at the hospital when she was very sick and I felt it may be her time to leave us but I still held on to hope. I remember holding her hand and telling her how much I loved her and asked her to be strong. I cried inside though knowing that her days were fleeting. I could not hold back the tears when we had to say our final farewell at the funeral home. I remember we had left her something of ours in with her in her casket. I left her a Tom Seaver baseball card because I knew how much she loved the Mets and that he was her favorite ball player.
The saddest reality I had to come to terms with after losing my mother was that she never would see my wife or our son. I feel sad that I could not share the joys of marriage and fatherhood with her. I know she is proud and happy for us from heaven and I have hope and faith in knowing deep down that she does know and is very happy for us.
As Mother's day approaches I will celebrate the day with my wife, son and mother-in-law. We will also commemorate the day in her memory as we visit both mom and dad's grave and put flowers out for them both. They are both reunited and I love them and miss them both very much.
Dedicated to my Mom.
Happy Mother's Day!
Edward D. Iannielli III