How to practice mental detachment? Being realistic!
''Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached. ” Simone Well
What are you mentally attached to?
- Your family and parents
- Your work and success
What is mental detachment?
In your day to day life you become emotional about certain things and feel deprived when things do not happen as you wanted. This makes you feel unhappy and you brood about it. Will this brooding get you anywhere? It just makes you feel lost and depressed. You cling to relationships and invariably you get hurt easily and you are at loss to cope up with your hurt feelings.
Why should you be mentally detached?
You should mentally detach yourself from going too deep into any problem or relationships. You have your children and your world revolves around them. You work hectically for their education and well being. You become emotionally involved in their life and feel you cannot exist without them. Your children might have come from you, but they can never be yours always.
They have their own life to live and as they grow, they deviate from you and become independent. If you take your children’s freedom in your stride, your life will be normal and usual. If on the other hand you feel that they do not love and respect you anymore, your life is torturous and you feel emotionally drained. This is where mental detachment plays a vital part. You should love your children, but be mentally detached to allow them live their own lives.
You do not cling to you children
When you are mentally detached you do not cling and clamor for attention. You take a step back and become emotionally strong so that you do not feel helpless when your children leave you to lead their own life. This does not mean you don’t love them, it simply means you acknowledge the fact that they are individuals with thoughts of their own.
Mental detachment in everyday life
In everyday life also you should be mentally detached to see things in its proper perspective. You should take a third party view of your problems and you find that it is your emotional demands that are the culprit in all your wrong decisions and your hurt feelings. For example, suppose someone rams your car and damages it, you become livid with anger and there is a harsh exchange of words. If you become too involved you might come to blows with that person who damaged your car.
Have you achieved anything out of your outburst? You might shoot up your hypertension perhaps, nothing more. Your broke loose because you became emotionally charged that your car that you so loved has been damaged. If you had been mentally detached at that time, you would have said a few harsh words and moved away. Your detachment makes you cool as you know that there is the insurance to take care of things and there ends the matter.
Mental detachment in relationship
In marriage also, if you cling on to your relationship there is a tight feeling of suffocation. When you are emotionally ready to acknowledge that your spouse is an individual and has every right to have certain breathing space, you stop breathing down the neck of him\her and there is relief on both sides. You respect your spouse’s individuality and this brings in fresh air of goodness into your marriage.
'Unrealistic expectations often lead to disappointment, while simple unbiased attention and detachment to outcome often lead to pleasant surprises.” Gary Hopkins
In this fast paced life, it is essential you are mentally detached to be sane and balanced in your life. Draw away from clinging and clamoring relationships and become emotionally independent, so that you lead your life with self respect and steady mental equilibrium.
© 2012 mathira