Minding My Middle
As a woman, it is difficult for me to discuss matters of personal vanity. Growing up within close proximity to the beach, I was expected to have that perfectly tan bikini body. I did not. After boot camp, I came close. Then I had children and my body was not what it used to be. I worked hard, ate sensibly and was just fifteen pounds away from my best body ever. During all that time, I had some serious self-image issues and never felt good enough. Karma, the world, and the forces that be have a way of coming around boost you up or kick you in the rear, based on what you put out there. In my case, I got kicked in the rear. My health took a dive after an injury and I put on an unseemly amount of weight.
The bothersome part of that is the weight came on while I was going to the gym three to five days a week, doing cardio four to six times a week, eating good foods in the right portions, and using a caffeine-free dietary supplement. Frustration was high. I went to the doctor who said my Vitamin D levels were low as well as my T3 levels which were effecting my T4 levels thus making my thyroids not work effectively. This is when I realized I was being taught a lesson. I had always rolled my eyes at those who claimed to have thyroid problems and figured it was an ‘out’ for not working hard enough. Now that I know better, I have effectively been chastised and humbled. Just as I learned the root cause of the problem, I lost my insurance meaning no medication for me.
That was a year ago and I am no better off than I was before. In fact, I may be worse. I still eat right, avoiding processed foods as much as possible (with a family of seven, a business, and children’s activities, it is not always avoidable), and trying to get in some form of exercise. The really hard part is that my previously dormant asthma has kicked in due to the added weight and makes it hard to really get into my workouts like I used to and should still.
I have no way of knowing when I will be able to afford to get medical insurance again and I am tired of waiting for some amazing miracle to happen making my weight related health issues to go away. Making drastic changes is very difficult but I feel it must be done if I am ever going to improve my physical health. It is especially difficult with a husband in the house with a rather large sweet tooth. He does not believe in depriving oneself of what you want in the name of vanity (which I do agree) however I cannot afford to reward myself too often. I would love to look the way I did after boot camp but I would not mind being the size I was in high school. Now that I look back at the pictures from way back when, I can honestly say that I do not know how I let peer pressure get my self-image so low when I didn’t look bad back then. Hindsight is 20/20!