Missing that care free spirit from my youth
Back in my day
I always hated when I was a kid to hear the adults around me say "back in my day" because it was always followed by some story about a ridiculous task that they had to perform when they were a child. Now I say it to my kids all the time. With age I have come to realize that the tasks I thought were just over embellishments by my seniors actually were the real deal. My perspective based on my short life span at the time lead me to believe there was no way anyone would have done any of those crazy tasks.
Almost thirty years, and two kids later, I find myself looking back on my life like wow we had it rough...The scary thought that follows is that someday my children will be raising children who they feel have it all. My children don't have to do everything that I or anyone else in my generation was expected to do around the house. When we were kids we did the dishes and the laundry. My kids only have to make their beds, take care of their hygene, go to school, and do their homework....wouldn't that have been nice?
There isn't too much I miss about my teens and childhood except the way that I fully believe that I could make anything I wanted to happen just by focusing on it and working towards it....By the time you are an adult all rationality replaces those personal beliefs you held. The negative talk you have heard from so many replaces your confidence. I remember dying my hair red, blue, purple, pink, and any other color that I wanted that week. I spiked my hair with jello, I wore outrageous outfits and I didn't care what anyone thought about me. Now I have my natural hair color (but that is for good reason- locks of love doesn't accept color treated hair, so I keep it natural so I can donate it). I find myself looking through LL Bean catalogs, wanting to dress in clothes from there and Newport.
I was never worried about my health but now I am suffering from a sack of fluid over a repaired hip muscle that was torn a little over a year ago. My spine is just a fabulous wreck from when a young lady thought my big green van was an illusion in the road and tried to drive through it like she was at MCDonalds or something. At this point in time when I am too tired to force myself to walk straight and right, I hobble in a hunched over fashion...I have found that daily practices in yoga make me feel younger. They also helped me lose a 169 lbs., losing the other person that I was carrying around helped me to feel a little younger.
I often want to find the person I was before the outside world help to transform me into the woman that I sometimes don't understand and wish would stand up for herself. So will I or you ever find that person again? Meditation might help, new shades of make-up might or nail polish might give me a youthful feeling, or a new outfit could give anyone a temporary boosts. However, I believe that the yogis must know something about youth and longevity due to the fact that they seem live for a very long time.
So maybe I should learn to focus on meditation if I want to feel you again? What do you think works to stay young?