- Fertility & Reproductive Systems
Motives for Sex
For married couples, having sex may actually be for different reasons than the most obvious ones of pleasure, reproduction, experimentation, or release of tension. For singles, hooking up for a night or two or temp relationship is part of the throwaway society once boredom sets in.
Married couples that have sex regularly experience more marital satisfaction depending on the motives involved. In a University of Texas study revealed that married couples have 237 motives for having sex.The two broad categories are those motives seeking to be closer intimacy with their mate or to evade a negative outcome, such as, have sex to avoid conflict or not to feel guilty for not wanting sex. The study is based on 108 straight couples that completed a survey every day for two weeks.
In most cases, those wanting to have sex based on positive motives, usually had better sex and felt closer to their mate, the opposite was true for those whose motives were not positive. Researchers found out that good sex is often related to how the relationship is outside of the bedroom and how the couple interacts.
It is easy for couples, married or not, to fall into a routine of sex during the week, which makes it seem mundane and predictable. When the other partner wants it, yet the other is too tired or does not want to, it is hard to accept when it occurs frequently. If it happens enough, over time, it erodes the relationship with suspicion or animosity that is kept deep inside. It is like termites that weaken the foundation until it collapses. Having sex in the same position or sequence also tends to make it mechanical after a period of time. It is hard for working couples with children to make it fun and exciting as it once was. It becomes less and less important and taken for granted. All of this is ominous for the couple that fights to stay together.
Sex is easy yet terribly complicated to maintain unless each focuses on pleasing the other rather than themselves.