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My Breast Jokes

Updated on April 30, 2013
Don't worry they will grow Babe
Don't worry they will grow Babe

The title isn't a typo. These aren't my best jokes. They are my breast jokes.


1] What did one breast say to the other?................... I hope we get support soon or people will think we’re nuts.




2] What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?...............When you see teeth marks.


3] The elephant asked the camel: "Why do you have your breasts on your back?" The camel clearly irritated by the outrage of modesty replies: "What a silly question from someone who has a penis on his face.



4] A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.
A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, “Ma’am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?”

“Why, officer?” asks the blonde.

“Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed.”

“Oh my goodness,” exclaims the blonde, “I must have left my baby on the bus!”


5] A blonde girl comes rushing home to her mum and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only count to 3 but I can count to 5. Look - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Does that mean I am special mummy?"

"Yes dear it does."

The next day the blonde girl comes running in again and says: "Mummy mummy! Today at school everyone could only say the alphabet from A to C but I can go until E. Look - A, B, C, D, E. Does that mean I am special mummy?"

"Yes dear it does."

The next day the blonde girl comes rushing home and says "Mummy mummy! Today at school we were getting changed for physical exercises and all the other girls had really flat chests but I had these ...!" She opens her blouse and reveals a humongous pair of DD breasts. "Is it because I am special mummy?"

"No dear it's because you are 25."

Feel free to send me yours. Jokes that is.

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    • PaperNotes profile image

      PaperNotes 6 years ago

      Lol! Very hilarious! Love them, thank you.

    • paxwill profile image

      P Williams 3 years ago from France

      I admit I laughed!

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