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My Partner Won't Admit They Have Depression

Updated on September 10, 2017
Claire-louise profile image

Claire has been dealing with depression since the age of 14 and obtained a degree in psychology in order to help those suffering.

It's Natural to Worry

Sometimes, it is easy to tell when someone is depressed, other times it is totally impossible, some people are so used to hiding their true feelings, you would never know that deep down inside they were really struggling to even stay alive, let alone cope with anything else.

But when you know that someone is depressed, and they are not seeking help for it, it can not only be hard to deal with, but it can also be quite worrying. You can't force someone to get help for their depression, trying to do so could mean that they go the other way and totally clam up and stop talking at all. But you can do your best to support them and let them know that you are there for them.

Ask Them

Talk to them and ask them if they are feeling okay at the minute, if they tell you that they are fine (which they probably will) then let them know that you have noticed a change in their behaviour and that they don't seem like their usual self. They may get a little bit defensive when you say this, but let them know that you are not accusing them of anything, you are just worried about them and wanted to make sure they were okay, worrying about your partner is normal and there is nothing wrong with that.

Be Honest With Them

Tell them that you think they seem depressed, it will go one of two ways. They will either tell you that they are fine and they aren't depressed at all, or they may tell you that you are right. If they do then suggest that maybe they go and see a doctor, but if they say they don't need to then I am afraid you will have to leave it at that for now. Going on about it will have the opposite effect to the one you want.

Don't Pressure Them

People don't respond well when they think they are being pressurized or accused of something, and if you keep mentioning depression and doctors then this is how they will feel. You may want to help them, but they need to seek help when they are ready.

Let Them Know You Care

If they get annoyed, which they might do, tell them that you are only worried about them because you love them. Let them know that you will be there for them no matter what they decide to do.

Some People Take a While

Having a partner with depression can be a constant worry for some people, but when it is not diagnosed or they are reluctant to seek help, it can make matters seem much worse. But try to just reinforce the fact that you love them and want to help them, and in time, hopefully they will admit that they need some help. And remember, admitting that you need help isn't easy for some people, in fact, a lot of people would rather struggle than get help, but with your help they will get there in the end.


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