My Secret Heart
No Where To Belong
One would think that at 43 years of age, life would be set.
Relationships would be in place, family would be established and friendships, old and new. would be the cherry on top of life!
Except in my case. I guess I'm one of those human beings that long to be a part of group of people to whom I belong. Where I would be loved, valued and missed if people didn't hear from me for a while. Unfortunately, I dont fit ANYWHERE!!
In fact, I have always felt like a fish out of water... from my earliest memories until now.
Oh yes, I am able to traverse in and out of different groups and sub groups of society... but each time its a long arduous process of constantly having to prove myself... prove my worth, my understanding, my loyalty... even though I have absolutely NO agenda or ulterior motives... This coupled with a constant barrage of being reminded that I'm an outsider and I always will be... makes for a very lonely life.
I am never fully accepted.