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My Son's Life

Updated on August 30, 2010

This is the story of one of our son's life and death.

Matthew Stephen he was christened on the 20th. March 1965, he would have been 45 this year.

He was a very smart boy growing up, like most sons he followed his father in the same type of work that I was doing, ( well both of our sons did that, one went into printing and Matt. went into Bookbinding)

This was my work, so he wanted to be a bookbinder, he was very good at doing the work, over time he met many girls, as boys seem to do this.

As we all went to church he met this lovely girl in another christian family, they went everywhere together with the young group at the church.

Soon they got engaged, then married, some of their other friends had also got married so then they went about together.

As time passed by Matt and his wife moved away abit from his family,but still kept in touch.

He was a good worker and got a job at night time, we could not understand this, as newly webs why be away at nights, he would be going to bed and his wife getting up to go to work.

But we found out there was a problem as his wife was working and she met up with another guy at her works.

Well this led to them going their own ways, but they stayed good friends.

Matt started to drink at a pub and he met up with another guy who was in much the same situation.

Well they would start talking about their problems to each other, and as they had to move out of their homes and no where to go to they moved in with each other.

(his friends name say I call him S )

Now S and Matt became very good friends in a sense that as far as we the parents were concerned it should not have happened, well they ended up having sex together.

S was working and he had a very well paid job, so he paid for a rented house, and many other gifts he gave to Matt.

This went on for not months but years, but there was one thing about it they would not sleep around, they were committed to each other.

Over time we got used to this way of living that they had, but it was very hard to take at the beginning, Matt's mother took it more harder that I did, I suppose mothers want to see their sons grow up into fine men, well this was not happening.

As I said we all went to church, Matt was a christian but some christians can still go the other way.( but let me say here that Matt never forgot his up bringing, he knew that one day he would have to answer for his actions)

Over time everything was going just so well for them both so they thought, but God had other plans for them, they moved up into the country, where it was warmer, because by now they both had caught HIV AIDS, but they still had sex, they thought that it would not matter as they had got this virus and there was no cure.

Matts doc. had been in touch with a hospital in Melbourne and there was acure just out or they thought it would cure hiv.

S was not as bad as Matt so they put Matt onto this drug, it was very costly though the government paid the bill, it cost or they paid out to try and keep Matt alive the amount came to over $ 1 million this was for all the time he was alive since he got the HIV about 3 years.

During this time of Matts illness, I had left my first wife and remarried, which didn't help the situation.

Now during the last 6 months of his(MATTS) life we would go up to his place to help look after him on the weekends, this is my 2nd wife and her 2 daughters 15 & 16.

S was getting worse by now as well but I had found out much later after Matt had died that he was on a drug that would cure him, he told me that as Matt was so far gone this drug would not have helped him I only had his word on this.

Now I met up with S just 3 years back and he was so well, my son now has been gone for 14 years.

Well as Matt was failing in his health day by day, he spent time in the local hospital, and was told that he only had a few days left, so he said that he wanted to die at home.

When we got him home he started to make up his own funeral service, the music, the readings from the Bible,  oh I didn't say that about 1 month before he died he told S no more sex as he was turning back to GOD and was asking for forgiveness for his wrongs that he had done to God and to his family.

On this weekend we were all up there at his place, he was so weak, I was out side mowing the lawn for them, I was called in and Matt asked me to pray for him so I did then he asked that I conducted the grave side service and to conduct the memorial service for the friends who could not get to the funeral as it was in the country.

Well I went in and sat beside him on the bed, he said that he would let all of us know where he would be goin to Heaven or hell, how about that he was goin to let us know just before he dies.

He said that he will wink at us if he goes to heaven, a frown if he goes to hell.

As I was beside him I had my hand on his heart and I felt every beat, then he winked at us and I felt the last beat of his heart.


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    • Raymond Tremain profile imageAUTHOR

      Raymond Tremain 

      8 years ago from Metro Manila Philippines

      Thanks Tony, thro telling it the way it happened is the only way as it may just help someone out there, or kno of some one to help them.

      God loves all.


    • tonymac04 profile image

      Tony McGregor 

      8 years ago from South Africa

      A very sad tale well and sympathetically told. Thanks so much for sharing this moving story of your son.

      Love and peace


    • profile image

      Raymond Tremain 

      8 years ago

      Many thanks cristina, yes God does heal all wounds that we create, and I have been able to forgive Matt's friend for what was done, or for what was not done, only God knew what was the right way.

      but I praise God that thro Matt's death some of his friends turned to Jesus, so thro my son's death others were saved.

      God loves you

      Ramon xo

    • cristina327 profile image

      Maria Cristina Aquino Santander 

      8 years ago from Manila

      Great hub, very touching story. It touched me deeply. But praise God Matt is victorious in his death, truly Jesus is faithful. Thank you for sharing this touching hub. Blessings to you. Have a great day.

    • Raymond Tremain profile imageAUTHOR

      Raymond Tremain 

      8 years ago from Metro Manila Philippines

      Matt my friend thank you for such kind words, I just got an eml. from a friend in Wales England to say that she is now trying to get closer to our Lord, I stayed there when on my holidays, I will talk to anyone about our Lord.

      God loves all


    • Raymond Tremain profile imageAUTHOR

      Raymond Tremain 

      8 years ago from Metro Manila Philippines

      Tracy many thanks my life is full of stories that I must tell just to help others.

      thank you

      God loves all

      Ramon xo

    • Raymond Tremain profile imageAUTHOR

      Raymond Tremain 

      8 years ago from Metro Manila Philippines

      I'm sorry for not answering all of these beautifull comments before this as it hub went into my spam as I went thro it I found all your so very kind remarks.

      Revlady I do kno that God does use me in many ways,and I do have many things still to tell

      Thank you

      God loves all

    • Tracy711 profile image


      8 years ago

      I am greatly sorry for your are an amazing person..father for being there for your son no matter what the circumstance..and I am so happy that you did not judge your son as so many do..for that is Gods place only..I'm sure your son knew how lucky he was to have a father like you..and I'm sure your love is what gave him the strength to deal with his illness..keep on being real and I know that you will truly please our Lord..God's blessings and love :o)

    • matt6v33 profile image


      8 years ago from Bangkok, Thailand

      Hello Sir, (Young Man)

      u r truly that "Light" on that shining Hill!

      u r truly Pleasing to the Lord our God!

      u r truly A Child of God

      u r truly a great example for all to look too, in their times of trials and tribulations.

      Would Like to encourage you, to keep, using those experiences and God given gifts, you clearly possess, in your writings, so others, I pray, will benefit! For u truly have much to offer to those in this World!

      Keep Writing Sir! Keep Going!

      In Christian Charity,


    • RevLady profile image


      8 years ago from Lantana, Florida

      This must have been a difficult time for you and you are to be commended for not abandoning your son, regardless of his lifestyle choice.

      Thank you for sharing a portion of your son's life and the struggles he experienced in coping with life's pains. May God continue to strengthen you and keep you by His mighty power.

      Forever His,


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