- Death & Loss of Life
My dad- one of the three musketeers
Missing You Dad
Please sit back and relax while I take you on my journey with my dad. Listen to my video, Autumn Song, by Van Morrison. He is one of my faves. My dad died in the autumn. My heart cries out in the fall for him. I miss my beautiful father. My dad, twin sister and I, had quite a special bond. We called each other the three musketeers. We were very close and loved to talk, philosophize, delve into God's realms, psychologize, and more. Today is my fathers death date. He died on this day in 1998. I was pregnant with my second child who we named Gabrielle Joanne after my dad. His name was John Anthony, so we called her JoAnne for both dad's first and middle name.
Yes, my dad was a keeper. One of our favorite things to do together was go out to lunch. We would sit way in the back or away from people because we knew we would be going very deep into conversation. We loved to talk about what heaven would be like and how it would feel to be greeted by other family members who'd already passed. We especially loved to talk psychology. Linda, my twin and I, went for our Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology. My dad was so supportive emotionally as we went through this journey. He learned as much as we did, because we would teach him all the different diagnosis's and philosophies. Dad loved to hear it all and was so proud watching my twin sister and I as we graduated.
Other family members did not really understand our connection. I think they thought we wanted to psychologize everyone. That was not true, we were just learning our trade and of course enjoyed talking about it. Dad loved the connection and conversations it brought to our relationship.
I remember one day we talked about the philosophy of forgiveness. We had to talk about a difficult situation in one of our classes. The theme from this conversation was about how my father, a man in recovery from chemical dependency, was able to say he was sorry to my twin sister and I about all the pain he put us through. We talked for hours at the Minnetonka Mist, a restaurant overlooking Spring Park Bay, on Lake Minnetonka in MN.
One of the lessons dad learned from us that day was how healing and vital it was for us to get that apology. We all cried that day and Linda and I quickly said, "we forgive you." What we realized is that he did not remember some of the stories of how verbally abusive he was when he was drinking. We told him the difference one could observe in children who never got an apology or having a parent that never recovered. What could that do to an older adult? We went on for a long time on that theme. We all inspired each other and I still have my twin who continues to inspire me.
All I know is that was one of the most healing sessions the three of us ever had and the catalyst, was what we were learning in our Master"s program.
Today I will carry my father with me in my heart like I do every day, but today I will bless him in heaven unceasingly.
Parents are so important. I will never forget the connection my dad and I had in this lifetime. I have felt him around me so many times since he died. I like knowing he still cares about my earthly life, even though he is in glory with God.
I love you John Anthony. You taught me so much about life. You taught me to speak up and let people know how I feel about them. You taught me to inspire, bring God into everything I do and offer all my gifts up to the Lord. I do this each and everyday dad. It has brought me God's abundance and so much joy.
Thank You God for the gift of my dad.
© Laura Rogers Arne