My Realization That I Have Visual Snow Symptoms and It’s Effects on My Sight

I was 14 when I first started noticing my vision was grainy sometimes. Although at the time, it wasn’t a big deal to me. I had a fear of ghosts and experienced reoccurring nightmares. So occasional grainy vision wasn’t something I worried about.

So I didn’t think much of it till after working at a couple of fast food restaurants. My anxiety started getting the better of me. By the time of only working there one year. I felt the need to quit. I did give them a two weeks notice, but I felt liked I failed.

I started to focus on my health and why I’m feeling anxious and freezing/ zoning out all the time. I decided to go to Frontier Health.

At my appointment with my case worker she has me talk with a lady. She was very nice. I tell her about the visual snow and anxiety. She asks me to go to a minor mental health hospital. I was reluctant, but she told me I would get diagnosed faster this way.

I was extremely nervous about going. The lady wanted me to check myself into the E.R. My boyfriend drove me to the E.R. I didn’t have my license. I still don’t a driver’s license. I told them why I was there, and they had me wait for a room. When I got back to the room they let me know I’d get picked up tomorrow morning. They took my phone. Made waiting harder.

The next morning a couple of security officers arrived to transport me to the mental hospital. I was nervous. When I got to the hospital they had me sign papers, asked questions, took my stuff, and took me to my room. There they searched me and asked more questions.

At first I assumed I couldn’t leave my room. But as I was called to see the doctors I figured out you could roam around the floor. They had a comfy lounge room. But the cabin fever was bad. All I wanted was to go outside.

While I was there I started noticing I was having grainy vision most of the time. I talked to the doctors a little about this. Although I think they took it for hallucinations. They gave me different meds that at first made me hear things. But even know nothing has helped the visual snow.

When I first started noticing the grainy vision at the hospital, I actually called it static. It’s hard to think straight most of the time. As it was then. Static was the only word I could come up with to describe what I was seeing.

After I got out of the hospital I started looking for things like seeing static on google, and Facebook. On Facebook I came across some Visual snow groups. I read what the other members where experiencing. All of them claimed to see tv static, or grainy vision like on tv. Some even posted pictures to show what they saw through their eyes.

Those pictures helped me feel I wasn’t alone, or crazy. Finding out what to call it, and others who shared my struggle gave me relief, and comfort. It’s easy to feel alone in life, and scared when things change. Having access to information is important to help us cope with life’s challenges.

Now I always see grains, everywhere, all the time. At night It’s kinda difficult to make things out through the grains. Given they’re transparent during the day, like you see on a tv with a bad signal. The difference is at night that they flow in colors like blue or green.

When I’m up at night it’s just scattered pixels. So it’s not too the point where I can’t see anything. But when I’m laying down. The colors comes in big waves covering your vision. You know how sometimes you close you eyes and see a bunch of pretty colors flowing around? It’s like that but your eyes are open and you’re actually trying to see. But those pretty colors are in your way. Luckily the colors mostly appear while I’m laying down at night.

This has been my experience with visual snow symptoms so far. If you’ve experienced any symptoms mentioned feel free to comment. If you have information you think might be helpful I’d be happy to hear from you.

Thank you for reading!