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My night mare

Updated on April 29, 2012

Night mare


My husband and I were sitting on a bench along the long wall. In the room where tables with laughing children and their parents. I heard my husband complaining that I was too serious. I looked that way because I knew he was dying, but he did not know.
When the food was placed on the tables and the grill was lit, all stood up and started to sing some countries national hymn. We remained sitting down though.

My night mare continued when everybody started to move around and talk, visit and laugh. I was drawn into a conversation about the facilities and answered politely what I thought. Then I took two plates to get some food for both of us. I had rice, salad and meatballs ready when I realized that my husband was not on the bench any longer.

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Glioblastoma Multiforme Brain tumor
Glioblastoma Multiforme Brain tumor

Fear taste of iron

My heart started to beat so hard. Worries, visions and fright came over me like a smelling blanket. Quickly, I looked over the crowd to find him. He often strolled away like a wind up toy and talked to others about all and nothing. His mind was in the back burner and the subject for his conversations were blurry. I could not see him anywhere. The plates with food had to wait. I walked zig zag in the room shouting his name. Nobody had seen him and I think that nobody really cared. They continue to laugh, talk and eat the food.

His brain tumor was very big and affected his memory and speech. There was no cure and no hope, but he did not know. He did not understand what the doctors had said, but I did and my heart was bleeding of sadness and constant worries. Glioblastoma Multiforme Braintumor kills!

GBM close look

Tackle the night mares

What To Do When Dreams Go Bad: A Practical Guide to Nightmares
What To Do When Dreams Go Bad: A Practical Guide to Nightmares

We've nearly all been there at least once - awakened with a pounding heart and the memory of frightening scenes that seemed so real, but were conjured up and existed only in the sleeping mind. Nightmares affect people across countries and cultures, with some 10 percent of the world's population reporting recurrent nightmares. Parents have reported, and science has recorded, nightmares in children as young as 18 months old.


After running in and out of the building, searching and crying and shouting, I finally had to go to the bathroom. The toilets were on one side of a long room. All was silent and I sat down to do my thing. Then I heard a sighing sound. I feared what I would find when I opened the door to another toilet.

There he was, my darling husband, Bleeding from the forehead. The wall on one side was bloody too, and he could not get up from the floor. He reached for my arms and we both cried. He was hurt and in pain and so was I. I started to shout for help and I screamed: Dial 911! The shouting woke me up. Soaked with sweat the the loud cry still in my throat.

After one of these nightmare rides, I cannot stop feelling that horror in my chest for a long long time. I do understand some background for the dream. My husband died from GMB not so long ago. But without the blood and emergency. But with the fear and sorrow and sadness.


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      Lesleysherwood 6 years ago

      This is so real and so sad where the background of the dream originates. I know those feelings so so well as I suffer with terrible night horrors!

    • mulberry1 profile image

      mulberry1 6 years ago

      Our dreams take us through some very emotional journeys, both good and bad. The experience of losing your husband was probably a living nightmare and your dream represented it. I'm sure the dream was upsetting for weeks. I had a cousin die in a car accident when I was 12. I had terrible dreams for months...then later dreams where I saw her again...happy.

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      Diana 6 years ago

      My Dearest Maria..How horrifying this dream is..!

      It would take days to get over..!!

      Dad dreamt of your hubby once..after he passed.. (your hubby being my brother and my dad being his dad..)

      Dad dreamt that Jack was playing with Angie's grandchildren in a field "just over yonder"....He was running, laughing, hollering..jumping...and you know of Jack's energy well...and it was a wonderful dream he said..He had it several was almost real to him...He spoke of it often..