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My sweet dementing Mother

Updated on July 20, 2011
Yes she fell out of her wheelchair but is doing fine.
Yes she fell out of her wheelchair but is doing fine. | Source
Smiles are so wonderful
Smiles are so wonderful | Source
let's eat I am Hungry
let's eat I am Hungry | Source
This is my burger,bacon, lettuce, tomato,beef, bun and pickle...:O)
This is my burger,bacon, lettuce, tomato,beef, bun and pickle...:O) | Source
This is mom's pureed burger...and it was good.
This is mom's pureed burger...and it was good. | Source
yummy cupcakes, mom's was soaked in milk.
yummy cupcakes, mom's was soaked in milk. | Source

Love is caring

I am not sure just where to begin, because I have been going through so many strange feelings and thoughts. The world (our beautiful world), the predictions of it ending, the endless e-mails about not being afraid to recognize and proudly honor the God we so trust in , believe in, the sights I see daily where my Mother is now spending her last days, the wonder and worry of it all can be so overwhelming.

Today though was the annual BBQ they provide the families at the home my Mother lives in. The care-givers as well as the Corporate staff do work hard and present a very nice, colorful,tasty meal. Everyone has a table to share with their loved ones and like at my mom's table we shared with another sweet couple. The woman has her husband there as I have my mom there.

She and I had a lot of fun chatting and discussing the way we feel , what we do at night to help get through these tough times. This BBQ was definitely a nice place to be in this July 2011.

When I arrived (early, honestly so I could secure a good parking spot) I went looking for mom, but not until I checked out the table we were assigned to , making sure we would be able to eat comfortably, since she is now in a wheelchair all the time. The care-giver and I discussed the best way to accommodate both my Mother and the couple that would be joining us. That settled I found her in another section of the home at a window watching the birds enjoy their food.

It was the strangest thing, often the folks at the home comment on the fact that we are dressed a like, in the colors we wear etc., but it is all a pure un-planned thing as the care-givers have no idea what I will be wearing. So as God and the Angels would have it today was no exception. I had on a black outfit and wore a black , shiny gold scarf...Mom had on a white and gold suit like outfit I had bought for her a while back and a white , shiny gold scarf. I almost cried. she looked so sweet (even with her black eye, from the fall she took out of her wheelchair a week ago) and she also recognized we were dressed a lot a like. Now I must say the care-giver is an alert wonderful lady and she probably took great effort to dress her this way,but had no way of knowing how I would dress for this event. Actually I was going to wear jeans and a red plaid shirt, ha ha if only I had still fit in them...

" Anyway this is really about what a fun and special day this was, "live in the moment" and be thankful these corporations do provide such fun days.Mom was happy loved her burger, though it was puree'd, but look at the picture, and it was tasty cause I always taste what I feed her. We were served lemonade with 7-up with ice, then coffee with a very nice cupcake. Looked like it was from "Cupcake Wars" a contest on the food channel.

However as always after the meal was over the residents are all full and ready for their nap, just to continue like nothing was different. It was much the same but made the family members feel a bit more like it was Home and these are memories not to be forgotten.

It is a wonderful feeling, even if for just one meal to have so many together in an old time fashion...BBQ ing and having fun.

I Thank God for each day I have with her, I know who she is even if she doesn't remember who I am...but who am I to say she doesn't remember, just because she is unable to speak.

I present this for the new folks that may just be dealing with dementia for the first time. Have faith, be strong, read and learn all you can. Go to group meetings and always smile when in their presence.......:O) Hugs G-Ma


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    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 

      7 years ago from Lagos

      As you rightly said, have faith, be strong all will be fine. Take good care of mama. Be blessed

    • Pollyannalana profile image


      7 years ago from US

      I am so sorry to have lost track of you. I am not getting emails telling me when friends post as I use to. I bought Mom a big soft foam filled doll near the end and she clung to it like a life saver. Well it's still hard to talk as I know it is for you, but you know all my love and warm wishes are sent to you and your mom. GBY


    • G-Ma Johnson profile imageAUTHOR

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      @ Will...THANK YOU...:O) Hugs G-Ma ( I think you made me blush LOL )

      @ Alison...So sorry about your mum and dad and I know you know what I am going through, I just pray everyday that our younger generation will wise up and heed the warnings...Healthy food is a must, exercizing your brain as well as your body and being faithful...thanks for the comment...:O) Hugs G-Ma

    • Alison Graham profile image

      Alison Graham 

      7 years ago from UK

      Thank you so much for writing this, you have shared that special time with your Mom and, I am sure brought back many memories of times spent with a Mum or Dad in a similar situation. I have lost both my Mum and my Dad, both had dementia - I miss them very much.

    • WillStarr profile image


      7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      I really like your new avatar!

    • G-Ma Johnson profile imageAUTHOR

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Thanks to you all I Love You...:O) Hugs G-Ma

    • smile51everyday profile image


      7 years ago from dream land-mamamiya

      i really appreciate your attitude towards life.

      sometime life maybe sucks, but you still could choose smile or cry....

      best regards.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Great hub.your strength and spirit inspired me,no doubt your mother is lucky to have such a loving and caring daughter...

    • Kenny Wordsmith profile image

      Ashok Rajagopalan 

      7 years ago from Chennai

      Hugs to G-GMa and you, G-Ma! :))

    • justom profile image


      7 years ago from 41042

      Great hub Merle Ann. I think those kind of days are all that really matter when you think about it. You're a great daughter, this is a very uplifting read. Keep your head up and be happy, you deserve it! Peace and Love always!! Tom

    • WillStarr profile image


      7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      End of life is very difficult, but even more so with dementia. I lost touch with my dad three full years before he passed away.

      Very touching Hub. You and your mom are in my prayers.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile imageAUTHOR

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      To you all who so sweetly commented...THANK YOU...


      I will always like Hubpages...:O) Hugs G-Ma

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Such a loving and beautiful story,sounds like you had a wonderful time together. brings back memories of the time I spent with my mother before she passed on.

      God Bless

    • Made profile image

      Madeleine Salin 

      7 years ago from Finland

      I work with old people. This hub is beautiful. It's a sad disease, but I'm sure this was a nice day for your mom.

    • Anaya M. Baker profile image

      Anaya M. Baker 

      7 years ago from North Carolina

      What a beautiful day! I admire your strength and spirit, your mom is lucky to have such a kind and caring daughter...

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 

      7 years ago

      Haven't heard about your mom for a while, G-Ma. Glad to hear she's well! Hope you are doing good too! Hugs! :)

    • Happyboomernurse profile image

      Gail Sobotkin 

      7 years ago from South Carolina

      So glad you had this lovely day with your mother and were able to share it with others. I believe that even if a dementia patient can't remember names of loved ones, they can have a wonderful visit in the moment and enjoy the attention of a daughter, spouse or other relative who loves them. Voted up, useful, beautiful and awesome.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile imageAUTHOR

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      7 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      manthy..Thank you for commenting..I Love my mom and it is a sad disease...God Bless :O) Hugs G-Ma

    • manthy profile image


      7 years ago from Alabama,USA

      Voted it up & beautiful, Thanks for sharing it


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