ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

My crazy life and twisted fate.

Updated on July 8, 2016

Maybe those mistakes aren't actually meant for you to hold on to.

I would like to tell you a bit about myself. I am in my mid 30's. I am a mother, new wife, sister, grandmother, and a child of God. I finished college when i was 30 and still haven't worked in that field (medical office-billing and coding). I have been a care giver for 2 family members that passed away nine days apart from each other. I became pregnant at 16. How did that happen? LOL unprotected sex and running away from home did the trick. I have been with a man for 10 years raising 2 beautiful daughters.I have traveled all across the states seeking as much of my addiction (money)that I could fill. I have been banned from Canada. I have tried almost every drug out there. I have been an alcoholic for about 17 years.Been beaten many times over by men and life.I have struggled with bad depression and anxiety BTW there is a pill for that and if that pill gives you unpleasant side effects there is another pill for that. Been in counseling for PTSD and I currently have a diagnosed issue that causes pain all over my body 90% of the time. Both of my parents dies when I was 17. Not together just a month and a half apart. Most of my life has amounted to nothing that remained joyous in me.

Why do I divulge such embarrassing things about me? Well, for one, you don't know me and that makes it easier. You cant chastise me when I pick up my next drink and the counselor thinks it is good to talk about all of the things in the past. So i figured why not save some money and tell complete strangers.....Okay all joking aside. I know what it is like to feel all alone in life. I know how hard it can be to be to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know how guilty actions can cause you to feel. I know all about trying to run away and start over. Heck! I didn't try to run away and start over. I did. I know how it feels when people you love always talk you up to what their expectations are. I was the "smart one" and I was going to make a huge impact on the my parents thought. That's kind of hard to do when they both have their arms out waiting for a needle full of black darkness. I don't blame them anymore.

Back when I was younger we didn't have as many resources for abused women and teens that were pregnant or young moms. Now we have the internet. What a glorious invention! Minus the fact that gossip, world news, massacres, bullying, whining, lies, and much more negative are just a click away. I feel that the internet is an amazing tool and sometimes isn't used for its full potential. Yes, they have "support groups" on line and you will receive the support you are seeking there as long as your opinion doesn't differ from the others in the group too much. I have turned to some of these online resources and found over glorified "chat room moderators" are just as guilty of prejudice, judging and bullying.

Lets dig in. Lets get to the heart of our issues and lets lean on each other to navigate our ways through this crazy life.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)