Myself and Life in a Foreign Country
What changed your life?
Who/What makes you feel motivated?
Life is about you
My life changed when I moved to Croatia.
I didn't know much about the place I had moved to, and that had taken a part of my life with it.
The open mind I have allowed for a good start in a foreign country.
I know sharing my life experiences with other individuals would be most helpful. To those who have experienced similar situations will benefit from my story told.
I survived a greater life than I had ever known and don't regret a single the hard times I had to experienced.
Ilearned and am still learning through my experiences, from the past and in the present.
I want to write and continue to write to let myself grow even more in this different life.
I can handle life on my own. I didn't know what I was capable of until I felt myself in that position.
I walked right into a life with no idea of what will be.
Now I see my true self for who I am, and not for whom I was.
The changes came over me when I had least expected.
Many people listened to how I came to live in a foreign country, and found it to be an unbelievable experience!
Most people would walk away, and I know of a few who actually walked away from the different life in Croatia.
The easy way out!
I chose to stay for my very own needs.
There has been far too much to cope with over the thirteen years.
Feeling alone moments.
The difficult people around me.
The jealousy next door neighbor.
Acceptance from the local people.
The Croatian language.
Opinions of others.
Dealing with doubt.
Meeting different people.
The traditional lifestyle.
The different generations.
Learning new law systems.
Trying to keep up with a normal life the I had in mind.
The many factors had allowed me to write a memoir is still in my thoughts.
The change in my life and all of what I had to go through in over a decade made me the stronger individual.
Living that long in a foreign country makes me feel like a stranger in my family.
I formed my own steady and balanced foundation and had decided to follow my ideas.
Why my way?
I didn't feel happy in the way everything had changed in my life.
I did not see myself in these situations and had no idea what to make of it all.
Off-course, there were many gossips, and misunderstandings about another life.
I controlled it!
People don't always accept foreigners and I did not feel accepted by most of the local people.
I did not sit back and wait for someone to come along and feel pity for me.
I needed to be occupied with what I enjoy best.
I started writing to move on with a better mind. I am doing exactly that right now!
I started speaking the Croatian language after three years. When it all came to me, I slowly got my act together. I din't want to move to another country,
I had it all going for me back in my place of birth. Something changed in me when I felt my freedom was taken away from me.
People in most parts of South Africa live in well-protected homes. The robbers, murderers, and rapists, are living outside razor fences.
Why should I be the prisoner in my own home?
A life I could no longer grasp anymore.
Moving away was the only option.
My life changed in two places for different reasons.
2002 - The Change flooded my mind with a million thoughts.
I had worked out what I felt would be for my own good.
Life in Itself gave me another view of this life.
It is nobody's fault, I don't blame anyone for the way things changed.
The less I knew the more I was kept in the dark about this foreign country.
My parents somehow knew beforehand, that my life would change and that I would go through a tough time.
I didn't know!
Leaving South Africa to me was my way out of danger.
I didn't think about the consequences. Everything at that time seemed too good to be true.
Staying in a family home wasn't the best of ideas it was the only choice.
Renting town apartments was rather expensive.
I learned to be patient and be happy with my life.
I did not want to go back to restart my life. Pride did get in the way.
I made up my mind to live in Croatia the place of freedom for me.
I did not want to live as a prisoner.
I have a mind of my own and felt free to make my own decisions.
I don't like dwelling in the past life that is not my way of life.
I miss my family and feel for them living their lives in danger.
Sometimes the decisions one makes can be for selfish reasons.
One has to fight to survive this rough world.
On my Arrival in Croatia
The friendly and hospitable family members were very pleased to meet me.
Only I knew what it felt like sitting there and not knowing anymore about these foreign people and of their culture.
That night everything and everyone around me felt strange, and I felt confused.
My life changed from that day on.
My life from the week before just disappeared from me. Travelling for a week was a lovely time but not so comfortably.
I felt like I could no longer hold on to what was in my life.
My better half was caught up in between it all.
I saw the way the special moments vanished each day and knew each time I teared.
I had to let go of those moments.
I did not let go of my being only of what was in my life. The past life that I know now will not exist in this place.
Something I understood from my side of life.
I couldn't explain or constantly argue about what I realized was going in another direction.
I had to figure this out on my own.
Looking at photos of the foreign place, including the discussions of Croatia did not enlighten me further of Croatia.
I felt easy when I was alone and with my family but not when with the foreign people.
It made me feel stronger at my weakest points.
My move to a new place opened my mind to many different avenues.
I could see my life going in another direction the one I hardly knew of.
Communication was stunted for me. Sitting in a room with all the different people speaking the Croatian language, while I sat there and wondered when this nightmare will be over.
Everyone had conversations I had none.
I smiled at their conversations, and looked around the room as if to know something but I didn't know.
I did feel uncomfortable when I was forced to learn the language. The process made me feel frustrated.
I wanted to learn the language bit on my own.
'you must speak the Croatian language,'' A line I often heard and this was from the very first day of my stay in Croatia.
I knew I would learn the language but in my time.
It is important to belong in society and I found my place in a foreign country.
Life is what you make of it!
© 2015 Devika Primić