ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Narcissism: A Guide to a Clearer Reflection of the Self

Updated on January 27, 2016

More likely than not, people who are wrapped up in themselves would not be able to see how narcissistic they are. Plus, any effort on the part of others to bring them help would immediately be repudiated since narcissists have an ingrained feeling of shame hidden on a subconscious level, which they fear might come out or be exposed in therapy or counseling. Unfortunately, the attitude of a narcissist can cause a great deal of emotional distress on people around them because they tend to be angry, defensive, controlling, and intolerant of others aside from being self-absorbed. Thus, the idea behind this article is to help narcissists see their selves as they are and, hopefully, find it in themselves to get help. At the same time, it is also to just spread awareness to others about this personality disorder. Those who know and are close to narcissists would also benefit from knowing that it is probably not they but their narcissistic partners or friends who have a problem.

How well do you see yourself?
How well do you see yourself?

How Narcissists May Reflect and View the World

Craving Narcissist: emotionally needy, clingy, and demanding; puts high expectations on others to meet his needs and gets upset when these are not always met

“I do not feel loved. No matter what I do, it seems that very few people understand and accept me. I only trust this person, and he/she must meet my expectations. Otherwise I shall feel alone again and hateful of the world.”

Paranoid Narcissist: suspicious of others and feels self-hatred and directs it towards others; sarcastic and hostile in an argumentative or aloof way; has difficulty accepting criticisms because he sees it as an attack on his character; bears grudges

“I know she’s out with her friends, but she still hasn’t returned my calls. Is she trying to avoid me or is there something fishy going on? I’m starting to get really mad. I’m not sure if I’m really interested to hear out what she has to say later.”

Manipulative Narcissist: manipulates and lies to others to feel superior and obtain the success that they feel is due to them

“I don’t have to follow rules. I know what I want and I’m out to get it.”

Phallic Narcissist: loves to show off one’s self; often exhibitionistic and aggressive; self-esteem is tied up to conquests

“People should be happy to be with me or see what I have to offer. Anyway, I know that they won’t be able to resist me.”

Narcissism is something that must be addresses. As T.S. Eliot put it, “Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves”. This disorder came about, according to some studies, because of issues with parenting, such as excessive criticizing by an idealized parent, which led to the child not being able to see himself clearly. It may also be due to someone having an extremely sensitive personality. Whatever the cause, the most effective way of dealing with it is by developing empathy. This, however, is not an easy task. That is why therapies that deal with cognition and behavior modification are conducted to help people with this disorder. If a narcissist is the first one to seek therapy, then he has already won half the battle.

What type of narcissist are you most prone to be?

See results

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • sparkster profile image

      Sparkster Publishing 

      6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Yes Lisa, narcissism is a completely natural human trait present in everybody but in someone who is (or would be) diagnosed a Narcissistic Personality this narcissism has been triggered into overdrive, it has become their defense mechanism rather than for basic and natural protection of the self.

    • profile image

      Lisa 

      6 years ago

      I think there's a narcissist in all of us. Some are well developed than others though. lol

    • jpcmc profile image

      JP Carlos 

      6 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

      i think if i were a narcissist i would be the paranoid narcissist. But as you have written, most narcissit don't realize they are one. Perhaps i have not realized it yet. LOL. In formative hub raeyecarlos!

    • raeyecarlos profile imageAUTHOR

      raeyecarlos 

      7 years ago

      Hi, sparkster. Thanks for the comment. I checked out your related hub and found it very informative. :)

    • sparkster profile image

      Sparkster Publishing 

      7 years ago from United Kingdom

      Great hub on an important subject. Thanks.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)