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Narcissistic Personality Disorder defined

Updated on March 10, 2014
Joe Jackson the Narcissist?
Joe Jackson the Narcissist?
Many believe Heather Mills is Narcissistic.
Many believe Heather Mills is Narcissistic.
Marilyn was thought to have Narcissistic inclinations?
Marilyn was thought to have Narcissistic inclinations?
Could she have Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
Could she have Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Narcissism explained

Many have cited Joe Jackson’s Narcissistic Personality Disorder as being the reason for his son Michael Jackson’s lifelong conflict with his inner self. Was it his fathers domineering, controlling personality that led to his son inheriting and developing many Narcissistic traits in his own right? We will never really know for sure but Michael Jackson himself often spoke about his fathers Narcissistic tendencies which seem to have affected the young Michael Jackson greatly. So what exactly is Narcissism to begin with?

Narcissistic personality Disorder has already been well documented and is clinically defined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-IV) as a “pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy.” In order for a diagnosis of Narcissistic personality Disorder to be made the person must be seen to possess at least five of the following nine personality traits:

  1. Possesses an extreme feeling of being more important than everybody else but this belief of being grandiose does not match the reality of the persons actual achievements.
  2. There is nobody else in the world as unique as them and that only other people that they consider to be of a similar high status can truly understand and appreciate them.
  3. A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder lives largely in a fantasy world where they are supremely successful, or they have immense wealth or power. Or consequently they may believe themselves to be stunningly beautiful or they may be harboring fantasies about obtaining true fairy tale like love.
  4. At their very core, Narcissists crave love, admiration, attention and an adoring audience which they need to function. The Narcissist however thinks nothing of ruining another person’s reputation or well being if that person comes in their way or they perceive that they have been insulted or slighted in some way by someone.
  5. The Narcissist doesn’t just want the best and the largest number of material possessions they actually genuinely feel that it is their supreme right to have the best of everything because of their uniqueness and their vital importance in the world.
  6. Manipulation and blaming others for their deviousness is second nature to a Narcissist, they are largely two dimensional people and as such they feel no guilt for slighting others for their personal gain because as they see it their gratification is the only important outcome as far any Narcissist is concerned.
  7. The Narcissist is totally lacking in any ability to empathize with others or to understand a situation from someone else’s point of view. The Narcissist sees other people of being of little importance if they cannot benefit from them in some way.
  8. Narcissists are naturally envious of all other people and they usually assume that everyone else must also be envious of them.
  9. Normally they will display haughty, grandiose behavior that clearly shows their superior status in life as they see it.

A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder lives largely in a fantasy world where they are supremely successful, or they have immense wealth or power. Or consequently they may believe themselves to be stunningly beautiful or they may be harboring fantasies about obtaining true fairy tale llike love.

At their very core, Narcissists crave love, admiration, attention and an adoring audience which they need to function. The Narcissist however thinks nothing of ruining another person’s reputation or well being if that person comes in their way or they perceive that they have been insulted or slighted in some way by someone.

The Narcissist doesn’t just want the best and the largest number of material possessions they actually genuinely feel that it is their supreme right to have the best of everything because of their uniqueness and their vital importance in the world.

Manipulation and blaming others for their deviousness is second nature to a Narcissist, they are largely two dimensional people and as such they feel no guilt for slighting others for their personal gain because as they see it their gratification is the only important outcome as far any Narcissist is concerned.

The Narcissist is totally lacking in any ability to empathize with others or to understand a situation from someone else’s point of view. The Narcissist sees other people of being of little importance if they cannot benefit from them in some way.

Narcissists are naturally envious of all other people and they usually assume that everyone else must also be envious of them. Normally they will display haughty, grandiose behavior that clearly shows their superior status in life as they see it.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder rarely occurs in isolation normally it contaminates many generations of a family before somebody finally shouts help, this person is out of control and something needs to be done about them. Until such time as somebody within a family tries to break the repetitive chain of hereditary Narcissism it will continue to flourish within the family unit.

It is only when Narcissistic personality Disorder can be openly addressed and discussed within a family that there can be a workable solution. Unfortunately Narcissistic Personality Disorder is based largely on pride and denial so getting such a person to actually contemplate having the disorder is a mammoth task in itself. Usually non-acceptance of there being a problem prevails and unfortunately there is rarely if ever any member of such a family who will not be affected by the trauma of the Narcissists pain and fury.

Whether you are the child of a Narcissist, the sibling of one or the parent of a child with this personality disorder you will not resurface from the Narcissistic quagmire unscathed.The very nature of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is based on portraying a false face to the world and total denial of there being any problem in the first place and that in itself usually means that there is rarely anyone to yell stop and face the problem except maybe for you.

It is a very difficult situation to be in when one of your loved one is a Narcissist. In future articles I will discuss strategies for coping with this situation. There are actually no quick fixes or easy solutions for overcoming the pain and hurt that can be caused by a person with Narcissist personality Disorder. In the end all you can do is save yourself by learning strategies to move beyond the pain and trauma.

How to Spot a Narcissist on Facebook

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    • thewritingowl profile imageAUTHOR

      Mary Kelly Godley 

      3 years ago from Ireland

      Thanks newjerusalem and you make valid points too.

    • letstalkabouteduc profile image

      McKenna Meyers 

      3 years ago from Bend, OR

      Interesting. I never knew that about Joe Jackson. I would love to hear more about that and how it affected his kids.

    • thewritingowl profile imageAUTHOR

      Mary Kelly Godley 

      3 years ago from Ireland

      I would think you need to discuss it with your legal adviser as I am not sure about how the law would handle it in your country. Best of luck with it and thanks for reading.

    • profile image

      hannah 

      3 years ago

      That's do true newjerusalem. I did all that. I was very patient and I managed to escape but the problem now is having a child with such a person. My ex-partner is now using the child to come back into our lives asking for contact with the child. Does anybody knows if it's possible to tell the court about this condition. My ex is the extreme one and he is very dangerous but the court doesn't see it.

    • newjerusalem profile image

      victor 

      3 years ago from India

      Identifying Narcissism takes a long time -- years. Finding the escape route is also not that easy. It takes a lot of prudence, patience, and long suffering to escape from the Narcissists if they are very close. Never getting into an argument with a Narcissist is the first step of escape. If anyone indulges in argument with a Narcissist, the intensive torment by the acid tongue of a Narcissist becomes inevitable. The emotional damages are severe and manipulation is never ending. Only God can help such victims!

    • thewritingowl profile imageAUTHOR

      Mary Kelly Godley 

      4 years ago from Ireland

      Thank you for commenting Always Learning. I have come across quite a few Narcissists in my time (most of us have, but its just learning how to recognize them that can be so beneficial to your sanity). There's no way to win in a relationship with a Narcissist just run and save yourself or if that's impossible then learn how to keep your distance and not succumb to their constant manipulation. Good luck.

    • profile image

      Always learning 

      4 years ago

      This is the best explanation I have read to date! I am just ending a relationship with a narcissist. Thank goodness. Your words are alleviating soooo much emotional hurt. Now, I can both intellectually AND emotionally comprehend that it is NoT personal after reading your article. Due to his intelligence and seamless antics/manipulations I was still questioning myself and mourning our potential future. This painted quite a clear picture that said future, in our case, would only sink to lower levels-not improvement. Thank you for your liberating words!

    • Gail Meyers profile image

      Gail Meyers 

      4 years ago from Kansas City - United States

      I tend to agree with you, Levertis. I sometimes wonder if narcissism is getting worse or if we are just hearing more about it than we did years ago. I enjoyed reading your hub, Mary!

    • Levertis Steele profile image

      Levertis Steele 

      5 years ago from Southern Clime

      The world is packed with people who think that they are supreme or better than others. Consider the caste system all over the world. Consider racism among all races. Consider the thoughts of many light skinned people in all races. They often think that their skin is superior. Consider most of the rich and anyone else who has a dime above others. Consider rivals in almost any capacity. Consider many people in high positions in the worlds of politics, business, entertainment, and many others. I am afraid that narcissism is pandemic. Maybe.

      What an interesting hub!

    • thewritingowl profile imageAUTHOR

      Mary Kelly Godley 

      6 years ago from Ireland

      Thanks. Please keep reading..

    • SiameseRobot profile image

      SiameseRobot 

      6 years ago from Boise, ID

      Good stuff

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