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Narcissists: The True Wolves in Sheep's Clothing

Updated on April 1, 2020
GreenEyes1607 profile image

Sabrina loves to write about love, life, and everything in-between in a candid yet humorous approach.

Toxic relationships can come in many forms, but one of the most dangerous kind is being involved with a narcissist. By definition, a narcissist "is a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.” That might not seem too bad since we're always told to love ourselves and practice self-care. Where the narcissist differs is that the only person they care about is themselves with little or no regard for anyone else. Now imagine being in a relationship with someone whose number one priority is themselves. Where do you fit in? The answer is nowhere because a narcissist can never truly care about anyone besides themselves. Yes, they might keep you around, but only so long as it fits their wants and needs. Once you no longer fit into that category, you are easily discarded and replaced. Next!

Unfortunately, many people, both men and woman, have had the misfortune of coming across a narcissist at least once in their lives. Narcissists are not normal people because they suffer from a personality disorder that makes them "have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others." According to
the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders between 0.5 and 1 percent of the general population (50 to 75% are men) is diagnosed with NPD.” Narcissists suffer from a mental disorder that prevents that from being able to have a real and healthy relationship. They simply have nothing to give to another person because they are an empty shells themselves. They are a waste of a human being. In a perfect world, narcissists wouldn't even be allowed to have relationships because they can only bring chaos and misery to other people. Since this world is far from ideal, read on to find out the traits of a narcissist so you can run in the other direction when you meet one.

Narcissistic personality disorder usually develops from a stressful and turbulent childhood. Narcissists grew up not getting enough attention and admiration from their parents, so they learned to become their own biggest fan. Sometimes narcissists were abused as children, but that is not always the case. Narcissists grow up to become adults who are entitled and think the whole world revolves around them. They believe they should have the best of everything and no one's feelings but their own matter. In a sense, even as adults, narcissists act like spoiled children who never got a good talking to about basic manners. They think the rules don't apply to them, like somehow they are above the law and everyone should cater to them. Narcissists are downright delusional and live in a world that only
exists in their own minds. While you may think that narcissists are basically just super self-centered people, it can get much worse. Many people throw around the word narcissist, not truly understanding that only a select few individuals can really be identified as such. Every person can be a little selfish now and again, but that certainly does not make you a true narcissist. An actual narcissist is a very
dangerous and evil creature. If you let them into your life they will try to poison it beyond recognition. Not only will they ruin your life, they will try to turn everyone you know against you while making themselves look like the better person. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

Narcissists will also try to take advantage of you in any way they can whether that's emotional or financial. They will take, take, take, and never give anything back in return. They will try to create arguments and situations in which you are made to look dumb and weak. A favorite practice of narcissists is to gaslight the people around them. By definition, gaslighting is a way to "manipulate someone by
psychological means into questioning their own sanity." They will try to turn things around on you and make you question whether you have gone crazy while they sit back and enjoy the show. That's all it is to them, a show, and narcissists get off on trying to make you look like you have lost your mind and belong in the mental institution, when in reality that should be their forever home.

Don't ever try to argue or win against the narcissist because there is no triumph against a crazy person. Just try to distance yourself from a narcissist as soon as you start to notice that something is just not quite right with them. The easiest way to recognize a narcissist is right from the beginning. They will give themselves away almost immediately, so you should know what you are looking for. From the moment you meet a narcissist, they will be the most charming and nice person that you have ever come across. They will be almost too nice and helpful which is how you know what they are. No one is that nice. They will give you pet names like "beautiful" and "sweetheart" almost instantly and try to move the relationship unnaturally fast because they want you to believe you have met your soulmate before you realize you have actual just met the devil himself.

Very often the narcissist will use the victim card on you to gain your sympathy and in turn let down your guard because you never expect to be manipulated by someone you feel sorry for. They'll start telling you about their sad childhood and abusive parents. How they didn't have enough to eat and had to get clothes from the secondhand store. They might tell you about their past relationships in which they were always the ones being mistreated and abused. According to them, they always got the short end of the stick and if they didn't have bad luck they
wouldn't have any luck at all. Basically, their whole back story is whoa is me. Before you know it, you have fallen into their trap and have become their next victim. That's all people are to narcissists, supply and victims.

By letting a narcissist into your life, you have become their supply that they can now feed off of. Every time they make you angry and get a rise out of you, they feed off that like a vampire sucking blood from a human. The more emotional and angry you get, the more supply they gain from you. The best thing you can do is give them no reaction at all. If you show no emotion, that will make them angry and wonder what's going on and why they're not getting a rise out of you. The next best thing you can do is cut off all contact with them. They won't see this coming and it will make them very, very, disturbed and insecure. The more time you spend away from them the more you will become yourself once more. Every little piece they tried to steal away will return and you will feel whole again.

The best portrayal of a narcissist that I have seen on television is on the show Dirty John. Season one of Dirty John is available on Netflix and it blew my mind how accurate and real it represents a narcissist. If you want to see for yourself, check out the show, you won't regret it, just keep in mind that it's based on a true story and that people like John walk around everyday thinking they are going to get away with it. If there's one good thing that comes from meeting a narcissist it's that it changes you and the way you view people. You will learn to trust yourself and your intuition more because from the beginning you knew something was off about that person and you were right. Never disregard your first impression of someone, because almost 100% of the time, you are right. While narcissists may seem confident and self-assured on the outside, please understand that it's just a facade and inside they're dead and empty shells. That's where their overinflated ego works against them, while they overestimate themselves, they underestimate everyone else. We're already one step ahead because we can recognize them for what they are and that is already half the battle. Now that we know what we are looking for,
there's no way the narcissists are getting away with fooling us this time.

Have you ever dated a narcissist?

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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 GreenEyes1607

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    • MPG Narratives profile image

      Maria Giunta 

      4 months ago from Sydney, Australia

      I watched the series Dirty John and really hated that character. I agree with you that this series gave a very good insight into how narcissists work. I was amazed at how she fell for him but he was charismatic.

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