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How Do You Handle the Death of a Loved One?

Updated on October 14, 2011

What do you when you lose a loved one? Do you wallow in your grief, or move on once the time is right?

When it comes to death, I've never been able to handle it. I've lost one relative when I was younger and one as an adult. I also came close to another after a cancer diagnosis but it was an early diagnosis that saved their life. Thankfully, that person can still live their day-to-day life knowing they're lucky enough to have those days. The emotional cliches of grief were always lost on me because I never behaved the way I was supposed to. I hid behind my feelings instead of accepting them and trying to learn how to live without that person.

Love was a feeling I never gave away lightly to anyone, especially potential suitors. I always hide my heart as a way to protect myself from getting burned or suffering from losing them in any life altering capacity. I have watched certain family members fall apart as their spouses wither into nothing from illnesses or natural causes. I have tried to sympathsize with them and offer my support, but I always felt it wasn't enough. My personal experience in the matter is non-existent, but I always figured it's better to try than ignore their grief. I'd like to think I'm helping and I'll continue to do so until the day someone tells me to stop.

My heart always grieves for people dealing with the loss of loved ones because they shouldn't have to suffer in such a capacity, but it's a part of life. You have to deal with the good and bad aspects of life. Take them with you as you make plans with your husband, wife, sibling or best friend. Realize that life should be lived like you're a race car driver speeding toward the finish of the Indy 500 with your tires on fire. Ignore the impulse to cool them off and picture passing through the line knowing you did everything you could to pass. Never sacrifice time with someone for a pointless material item such as jewel trinkets or an unnecessary job promotion. Focus on the good things in your relationship instead of the things you don't have. As the saying goes, it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Finally, I've never dealt with the loss of a loved one such as a spouse or a best friend just yet. I'm learning how to deal with death from firsthand and indirect approachs, but it's still a trial and error process depending on each insistance. Just live every moment like it's the last, with a degree of caution, and you should be fine.

What do you want on your tombstone?
What do you want on your tombstone?

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      mikeq107 9 years ago

      Well you know the old saying "it is better to have loved and lost than never at all"

      I have lost both parents , 2 friends and numerous relatives. What i have learned is I have to just let myself grief and cry when i feel it coming on...its a process like anything else and if i try to hold it in ,its like choking my self. You were right most people dont know what to say...but that really dosent mater...just being there is the greatest statement.   I have been hurt many times growing and the only person  i truly trust is God and my wife and that realtionship was a long time in the making and if she goes out of here first ..I will cry deeply tears of joy and saddness, because we will both have trully lived and been present with each other.

      Great Hub mike ;0)

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