Obese Women Showing Skin in Public: Confidence OR Indifference?
The Concept of Confidence
Thanks to a subset of the body positivity movement, the concept of confidence has come down to how skimpy a plus-size woman’s clothing is.
The concept has been confused with indifference over one’s appearance.
Confidence Is NOT Inversely Proportional to How Much a Woman Covers Her Body up in Public
If you’d die before ever wearing a bikini due to your size, does this mean you have LESS confidence than does a body positive influencer who’s posted 200 images of herself in two-piece swimwear?
Heaven help the bopo influencer who tells my mother that my mother lacks confidence because she wouldn’t be caught dead in public wearing even short pants due to spider veins.
My mother will win an argument with you every time (a more tangible form of confidence), yet on the hottest days will still wear long pants.
It’s just plain madness to entertain the idea that a plus-size or even morbidly obese woman who freely wears bikinis has more confidence than does my indomitable mother simply due to a choice in clothing.
Clothing Choices Are Not Indicative of Confidence
Being covered up in public does not indicate lack of self-love.
Look how classy and stylish the character of “Tess” appeared in the TV series, “Touched by an Angel,” even though full-figured Della Reese was – by today’s standards – very covered up in every episode.
Yes, she was just a fictitious character, but this shows that overweight women can exude plenty of confidence and taste without feeling pressured by online strangers to wear clothes they just don't feel comfortable in.
The craze of women 100+ pounds overweight posting images of seductive poses in bikinis and racy attire will hopefully go out with the bathwater – very soon – because it promotes women as sex objects.
- It’s one thing for plus-size women to professionally model lingerie and swimwear for a clothing retailer to earn money.
- But this article is about all the other women who keep campaigning that the most important thing about a woman is how her body looks – that first and foremost, all women's bodies should be ornaments!
- And that if she doesn’t wear revealing or tight, form-fitting attire, then she just doesn’t have any confidence or self-love.
This is utter insanity.
Confidence and Indifference Are Two Separate Concepts
Suppose an obese woman wears cover-ups to the beach and never wears shorts or sleeveless shirts in public.
The bopo Instagram star and her legion of followers who post, “I wish I had your confidence!” have NO idea how that covered-up woman would respond in a crisis situation or any grinding circumstance for which a sturdy backbone is required to manage that situation.
- How you confront adversity in life is predictive of self-confidence.
- This has nothing to do with how much skin is showing.
Equating Self-Confidence with Wearing a Bikini
“That is ONE confident woman,” you might say regarding the image above. But you have NO idea how she responds to life’s curve balls or whether or not she has the courage to end an abusive relationship or rise to some other significant occasion.
A bikini is just a prop.
Just like bopo influencers claim you can’t tell a woman’s health by her size, how about:
“You can’t tell a woman’s confidence by what she’s wearing”?
Something tells me they’d never go for that.
A truly confident woman will not become brainwashed by the bopo movement’s push to exhibit every roll or upper thighs in public.
Do NOT Confuse Modesty with Lack of Self-Love
The message is: “If you cover yourself up at the beach, you don’t love yourself.”
This is highly offensive to confident large women who prefer cover-ups and more modest outfits when at Walmart or on the beach.
In fact, perhaps the next very hefty woman you see on the beach with her young kids, who's seemingly overly-covered-up, is simply protecting herself from a recurrence of skin cancer!
Plus-size women who prefer to "keep it covered" should not be judged!
“I wish I had your confidence!”
The body positive promoter who makes money off of Instagram may have originally had a message, but she may NOW be thinking only in dollar signs with every new post.
She must continually post new images to keep the money rolling in. She may not even believe some of her own words, but if they snag in more fans ($$), what the hey!
Second, some plus-size bopo influencers really DO think they have high self-confidence simply because they’re now showing their upper arms, middle and upper legs.
Even if the day before, they were so low in self-esteem that they fled to the bathroom in tears after a coworker criticized their work, they still think they’re brimming with high confidence simply because they bear a lot of skin in public.
Confidence vs. Indifference
Now of course, there are confident big women who just happen to wear mini-skirts and tight sleeveless tops in public.
But it’s absolutely nuts to point to any obese woman at Walmart, at the beach, at the mall, etc., and blindly assume she has high confidence simply because the belly rolls and fluffy thighs are showing. Those are the key words: simply because.
Monetizing the Sexual Objectification of Plus-Size Women
The bopo money-makers are good at writing inspirational messages and hence, gain a strong following.
A smart woman of generous size may focus on a specific hook or two (whether she believes in it or not) to rope in highly vulnerable, impressionable, easily-manipulated Internet users.
With persistence and some research on how to score on Instagram, this entrepreneur will become a “presence” in the body positivity world and hailed as a role model.
Let’s cut through the noise and see this for what it really is:
- Promoting the concept that women can be ornaments at any size!
- Pushing the idea that confidence is measured by how much skin a woman bears in public!
Of course, plus-size women will always have male admirers.
The issue is the tens of thousands of females who see these Instagram stars as bastions of confidence, courage and bravery – all for displaying a lot of skin in public! We’re de-evolving!
A hefty woman who covers herself up at the beach or anywhere else – for all you know – may be doing volunteer work with tough street teens or have lead anti-bullying crusades at local high schools.
Maybe she competes in judo or powerlifting competitions and is a partner with a law firm.
She screams confidence, even if she walks down the street with only her face and hands visible.
The body positive movement enforces the idea that a woman lacks confidence and self-love – simply because of a fashion choice. Heaven help us.