Observing Mental Health
I've read several blogs on mental health, have had my own "personal issues" in life, and while I am nowhere near expertise. I have picked up some useful tips a long the way.
This hub is not about sharing my probles /old-problems though the latter may come up if required as examples and starting points for things in common that may help the reader.
For the sufferer/s or "survivors, I hope to be a positive and useful resource. I don't have all the answers. So feel free to use the comments as directions to your hub especially if you have come through trials and found your own solutions.
For partners of sufferers, survivors etc. I hope my writing this blog will help you gain some understanding that may serve to reduce the friction caused by the probably inevitable unknowns through a person having these issues.
Mantra Effect: The more times you say, or even think, or see or hear something -any word- the stronger it's influence on your mind and being. Not being able to say something at all or refusing to actuall say IT. But instead "It's just the stuff." which on a universal scale can be anything, personally it tends to be a common theme. It's not -really- you is RE-ASSURING ...Isn't that a better word to start with!!! Practice this. The spouse/loved one can respond with something like-
"My LOVE / sweetheart" / "My KIND ...~(relative...) I am REASSURRED that it is not me. I HOPE You find your sense of PEACE!"
NB: capital words are the endearing ones. Now, how do I HELP you realise the non-POSITIVE words have not been used without using them? -Do we need the non-POSITIVE words??? I think not. The POSITIVES outweigh the non-POSITIVES by Use verses lack of use. Already I feel the mood picking up! You will know the alternative word/s for non-POSITIVE/s note strongly that I haven't used them! Did I need them? -Do you not know what I am talking about just because I explained things in a different way. Of course You Understood! Life is better when we work to lift things up. To find a brighter way of going about things.
Correction can be a weapon of mass destruction to the emotion and stability of mind: I know some who grip their stomach, and project out a feeling of awkwardness towards a speaker. Just repeating the word they didn't like, and are adamant to get a replacement. If you know what some-one means then there's no need to correct them! Clarification is sometimes needed but why is it so important merely to get the word you want. So I said "Lady" instead of "Woman" -so what; in universal ettiquette it is considered polite that if you don't know some-one's status you are better to assume a high standing. Again why not, it links to the above!
With those important points out of the way. I wish also to observe some points I noticed while reading blogs. First is the lack of reason. Why some-one feels... Or (from above) does not feel HAPPY, or at least on a balance level /CONTENT. It may be that the writer/s has gone over it enough times with their therapist. And just wants a way to cry out to the world as progress is not as fast as one would wish. But it may be the person hasn't realised that things link. It wasn't obvious to me that my helpers silence, and his/her just sitting there looking at me was a cue for me to speak. I slowly found I could say whatever was on myy mind and safely explore all that I needed to.
I've sincew learned however that not all professionals are there with thwe right reason's as the highest on their priority list. This is true throughout the medical and caring professions. Some put caring for people, putting their needs first, and this tends to involve money and power, control over the patients total well being. I have come across many examples of these types of things. Most recent in dialysis-
-A nurse, new to the unit was due to disconnect me from the machine as my time was up. Instead of asking me to bring my chair back up so that he wouldn't have to bend too much. He grabbed the controls -impeding my space. I remained calm on the outside but did not feel so calm on the inside. I managed to get him off after a few moments of going up, offering to do it myself. But whether unwitting or not he'd placed my chair under a ledge. So having moved down easily enough I was now stuck. And before I could understand it or look around to work it out. The chair jolted into place. A female nurse on the next place rather than ask me if I was OK. Told me quite un-sympathetically "Don't press the button further than the chair can move" her voice carried around the room. "I don't know that I had!" I replied taken aback. But had because while I was coming to REALISATION that something wasn't quite right. I was stuck in the moment doing what I was doing, and though I did stop it was too late. The most uncomfortable part of it was I'm sure I saw a gleam in the male nurses I as he saw the chair hit my back with some force.
The above exercise required that I improve my vocabulary because I had to think not to use words that I would normally. It seems a word is a doorway to somewhere -a feeling or state of mind. And it all adds up. Be Calm Calm Calm...
Another thinfg is Exercise: I'm struggling with physical aspects as I feel worn out -or rather past my best due to my circumstances. (see above. note. I said it once as people might not have known, but I'm not going to dwell on the word or even trhought of the action etc. involved.)
I like exercise.
I write here about writings to know yourself by. A childs picture often depicts himself, a parent/s and where s/he feels he fits in his/her current world /surroundings. A written poem can say much and bring us closer to realise what we are feeling about a situation or time in our life.
Nice are the who I am now, how close is it to who I want to be and how far I've come story/descriptive type writings. So long as you keep them private; only share with a trusted therapuetic helper.
I also liked the 5minutes in my week/s when I went up the hills in my spare time to take out my non-POSITIVE feelings out on a wall, throqwing stones and shouting at it even some swearing helped -I was told with Authority that "as long as you don't take it out on people!" -I assume that to mean all creatures (In case of vermin -unnnecessary, over the top measures are implied)
I have for the most part enjoyed learning about myself. How we should not have stopped playing football in our own garden, but erected tall next to protect the ball going into next doors and protecting his precious greenhouse. Having said that why didn't he erect the nets rather than starting wars!!!
Treat each day as a chance to learn: Something new, something more. Whether to ease, understand or simply explore to know more about ones self and ones own situations. Sufferer don't neglect your partner; it helps to know where they're coming fronm too!
Job satisfaction survey
Is it healthier to get any job no matter how hard, unfulfilling. Or better mentally to be out of work?
I missed the point where I don't go to pubs -certainly not regularly. I therefore avoid drugs that raise the mood then drop it severely -like a newspaper: Avoid random news; it's a list of unhappy events. On the other hand you may find it helps to study topics that relate to your own issues, write out the similarities and the memories that ccome. You may then wish to discuss with therapist and even eventually have a discussion with your partner to help them understand. Or you may prefer they didn't. Sometimes the mystery is the health. Mystery keeps us wondering that is roughly where the wonderment is.
Utopia: When we talk of painful things. Is it those things themselves that seem to wear people out or the careless language we use?
Why we pander to false machismo and rules that say you're nobody if you don't swear every other word. Nobody to who? Nobody to nobody by default is some-one to somebody!!!!
some more of my writings
- Coping with dialysis: Secrets revealed!
Facing dialysis for the first time can be hard. The first few weeks are the hardest. Patients, relatives and carers alike will find some new insights here. A demistifyer for renal new comers.
- My experience of opinion/s regarding Dialysis
- Transport to Hospital
The issues of glorifying a taxi drivers role!
- Life at ALL COSTS: update on pallitive care!
There are certain things I, for one would not and do not want to face in life. Why be stuck on a machine for life with no hope to recover? It may be taking vital equipment from some-one with a chance
- Was I so important? Dealing with incurable illness.
What is important? Even Pigs are bought for Pork!