ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

One Way to Relieve Stress

Updated on August 28, 2012

John was having a really rotten day at work, since the boss had just given him a butt chewing for slumping sales statistics. He was sitting at his desk stewing in his own juices when he remembered there was an important phone call he had to make to a Mr. Dan Simmons about a new account. Digging through the mound of papers in front of him he searched for the slip of paper he had written the number down on. He found it and dialed. "Hello?" answered a male voice.

John identified himself and asked if he could speak to Mr. Dan Simmons. The phone was immediately hung up. “That was really rude” John thought. Thinking he might have dialed incorrectly, he looked up the number in the phone book. Sure enough, he had.

After taking care of business with Mr. Simmons, he spied the slip of paper with the wrong number. John redialed the number and when the same person answered again, he angrily called him a “S.O.B,” and promptly gave the same courtesy he had received earlier by slamming the phone down.

After the bad day he had been having, that act apparently blew off a little steam because he began to feel better. He wrote S.O.B. on the slip of paper and stashed it in a desk drawer, just in case he ever felt the need to blow off some steam again. As it so happened, he used the number every few weeks or so since he had a high pressure job. He’d call and when the man answered would holler, “You’re an S.O.B.” into the mouthpiece and hang up. It always made him feel much better.

Not long afterwards, the phone company came out with caller ID. John wasn’t too happy about that since it would put an end to his method of relieving built up stress. “Maybe not,” John thought. “I could use an alias!” John made up a fake name and decided to call again. He would introduce himself as Thomas Johnson.

"Hello, this is Thomas Johnson with the phone company. I'm calling to see if you’d like to add caller ID to your phone service. "No!" the man yelled and hastily slammed the phone down. John quickly redialed and screamed, “Well, you’re a S.O.B.,” and hung up.

A few days later, John drove to the mall. While searching for a parking space he spotted an elderly woman backing out of her spot very slowly and taking a long time to negotiate the maneuver. Finally, after what seemed an eternity she managed to back out and move on. When John began to pull into the empty space, a red Thunderbird coming from the opposite direction suddenly zipped into it. The driver sprinted out, seemingly oblivious to John’s irate protests.

John contemplated what had just happened and concluded the world sure had a lot of S.O.B.’s in it. It was then John saw the “For Sale” sign in the Thunderbird’s rear window. He wrote down the man’s name, "Joe Harris," along with his phone number and continued to find a place to park. Now, John had two phone numbers he could call and he was fed up with being treated so callously.

John suddenly had a brainstorm. He called the man selling the red Thunderbird. After a few rings, someone answered. He asked if he was the guy with the red Thunderbird for sale. The man replied in the affirmative. "What's your name?" John asked. The man replied “Joe Harris.”

After getting Joe’s home address, where he had the Thunderbird parked, John asked Joe, “Can I tell you something?” “I suppose so,” Joe answered. John hollered, “You’re an S.O.B!”

There was a moment of silence on the line then Joe asked if he was still there. “Yes, I’m still here,” John said. Joe asked, “What’s your name pal?” obviously getting hot under the collar. John calmly answered, “My name is Thomas Johnson and hung up.

Next, John got out the other S.O.B.’s phone number and called him. He answered, "Hello." “Hello yourself, you S.O.B.,” John bellowed.

“Why, if I ever find out who you are, I’ll kick your butt!”

“Well, my name is Joe Harris,” John said, then proceeded to give him Joe’s address. Well Joe, I’m on my way over there right now! The conversation was over. John drove over to Joe’s to watch the fireworks.

Author’s Note: The above story is pure fiction. I hope it brightens your day.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • JY3502 profile imageAUTHOR

      John Young 

      6 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      John takes a bow for his fine audience. Gotta go write another one...whew! I'm getting a little S.O.B.

    • eHealer profile image


      6 years ago from Las Vegas

      SOB, shortness of breath? Great hub and voted up!

    • JakeFrost profile image

      Jake Frost 

      6 years ago from London, United Kingdom

      Great hub here, very good tips that I will try and remember for the future.

      Well done!

      ~ Jake

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      6 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Up and awesome. I love it, you S.O.B.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)