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Online Anger Management - Using Mindfulness Therapy

Updated on September 28, 2013

Anger management Online

Mindfulness Therapy is one of the best new therapies for anger management. Now Dr. Peter Strong provides Mindfulness Therapy Online via Skype.

Anger describes a very powerful and often destructive emotion and is almost always the outward expression of an inner sense of helplessness and frustration. Beneath anger you will find a great deal of fear and hurt, which can be traced back to problematic relationships with our parents. We internalize the message, "I am not good enough" and develop core beliefs based on the emotional abuse received as a child. These core emotions remain unresolved and act as a source of irritation, rather like grit in an oyster; we develop layer upon layer of cognitive and behavioral reactivity, all fueled by these unresolved core emotions.

During Mindfulness Therapy, we focus first controlling the outward compulsive reactivity by learning to detect the anger impulses the moment they arise and then defusing them using mindfulness techniques. It may seem strange, but one of the most effective ways to defuse an anger reaction is to acknowledge and welcome it. You can be sure that reacting with anger towards the anger impulse will NOT help it resolve, but will only make the anger worse. What does work is to create a space of awareness around the emotion and then generate a relationship with the emotion based on friendship and acceptance. Think of the anger as fire. If you don't feed the fire with fuel what happens? The fire will naturally and spontaneously burn itself out. This is exactly what happens when we can learn to hold the impulse in that space of awareness and friendship that we call mindfulness.

The second phase of Mindfulness Therapy involves forming this same mindfulness-based relationship with the underlying core emotions that fuel the anger. Anger is simply the smoke, or what we call secondary reactivity; we need to heal the core emotions, the inner fire, if we really want to break free from the grip of anger. In a very real sense, we go right to the source and "sit" with our core emotions; it is only then that we begin to intuitively see what they need i order to heal. Often, simply the act of taking time to be present with our inner fear or hurt is enough by itself to bring about healing. It is often useful to think of the core emotion as an "inner child", and it is most certainly a younger part of our self. That inner child desperately needs our love and presence just as a real child needs this quality of being to develop in a healthy way.

The approach of Mindfulness Therapy is remarkably effective for healing most unresolved emotions and for controlling cognitive and emotional reactivity.


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